Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

Feb 232015
 

Well hello there!  I know at least 2 of our regular readers just fell off of their chairs when they saw that I had written this article and not Ralph.  It has been a long time since this site has been much of anything except Ralph’s other blog.  But fear not!  Ralph is not the only one ready to Cantankerify your brains.  I have grand plans of a series about Mother in Law’s that has taken a month to get the venom out of.  More on that to come.

Yes

Cover of Yes

So gentle readers I am back.  And here is what I have noticed.  One of the key words for this site is Old.  Yes, old.  And I am getting old.  Granted, I am almost 38 and in the grand scheme of things, that is not considered old.  These days, even Bob and Ralph are not really considered old, retired or not.  But, I am getting old.

Long time readers of any of my blogs (links here to my other blogs…..well maybe not) know that 5 years ago my 1 year old daughter ended up in kidney failure.  2 years of dialysis, a kidney transplant, and 3 years later we took her on a Make A Wish Trip to Disney World(can’t help that link it is the whole trip).  That whole experience during those 5 years aged me.  Enough to be a viable member off this blog, even if not old yet.

Life has thrown me some cement curve balls the past couple of years and I can’t catch very well.  So I have been knocked down bleeding, but I still have managed to stand back up.  But it ages me further.  So here I sit, with 4 kids growing up, a pile of bills (that could really use some help from you if you happen to be shopping at Amazon.  Just click to Amazon through my link over there in the sidebar.  Thanks.)  an attitude that is becoming more and more cantankerous, and a body that just feels old.

Ralph is always jealous of the sweet music that emanates from the kettlebells.   I still like using the things but my rapidly aging body keeps telling me to slow down.  I have finally got my elbow back to useful after 2 weeks.  And then there are the grey hairs, and the unwanted ear hair that my wife seems to find great pleasure in curling with her fingernails if I don’t get it trimmed fast enough.

(St Mary and St Barlok)Monument to Sir Ralph F...

(St Mary and St Barlok)Monument to Sir Ralph Fitzherbert,d.1483,and his wife:detail of tomb-chest. Ralph’s children are shown on the side of the tomb. first three are Richard, Thomas and John – this is John who was Ralph’s heir. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And the need for sleep.  And it goes on and on.  And it will not end until someone is nailing shut my pine box.  One of the most disturbing things that my wife and I have been looking at over the past little while is what to do with our kids if something happens to both of us.  That is a, well necessary thing but good hell it is depressing.  And then looking at life insurance for both of us, and on the kids.  Not to mention retirement savings.

As much as I hate thinking about it, one of these days, hopefully about 65 years in the future, I will be gone.  My kids will need that life insurance to pay for the funeral or at least the dynamite to blow me up with.  And maybe they will have a bit left over at the end.  There is insurance for that as well.  Now I am bumming myself out.

We all get older.  in reality it all happens at the same rate.  There are still 365.25 days in a year and the years go by one after the other.  The adage is still true, “The only certainties in life are Death And Taxes.”  And they will tax the hell out of you when you die.  Bah.  I need to get with Ralph and have him teach me how to not feel so old.  But for now, I have kids to raise.  16 more years and the wife and I are buying a 1958 Corvette  2 seater and cruising the country….sans kids.

I had better get writing, but first some liniment and a nap…..in the middle ages I would be an old man…and most days lately, I feel like it.

What about all of you out there reading this?  How do you feel?

Anyway, here is to more blog post from someone other than Ralph, as much as we love his take on things.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Feb 232015
 

Coots Lesson #4: Say It When You Feel It.

We don’t Worry.

Are you one of those people who worry about being “politically correct”?  Do you always think out what you want to say before you say it?  Do you get home later and say to yourself “I should have said….”

Well then this lesson is for you.  In the pursuit of Cantankerousness, there is not much room for political correctness.  As Ralph has so eloquently said in the past, polite is a euphemism for a lie.  This is the same for the political correctness BS that is so prevalent in our society.

Let It Out!

There is way too much self editing these days.  Too many times we have to stop our tongues so that we don’t offend people.  Well that is over and done with.  In the continuous pursuit of being a better person I now believe that the best thing to do is just say what comes to your mind.

Lose that internal filter that clogs up with what you “should” say, and just say what you mean.  It may anger people but shooting straight is the best way to deal with society as a whole.  Keep your lies and your equivocations; quit pandering to people who don’t really mean anything to you.

Don’t keep it bottled up.

If the time is right to give any said SOB the MapQuest directions to Hell, so be it.  Tell people what you think right then and there.  If you keep it bottled up you will probably end up killing someone.  While that may seem attractive at the time, it will only land you in jail and keep you from voting or owning a gun.  Telling people what you think right then won’t land you in jail most of the time.  Slander is another post altogether.

So here is today’s homework: if somebody pisses you off, tell them.  Don’t just sit around and mutter, tell them off in a loud and clear voice that leaves no room for doubt.  Like our good friend Howard Beal did, stand up and say, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”  Don’t take it.  Give it.  You are well on your way to being a Cantankerous Old Coot.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Feb 232015
 

2013tlapd banner

Unfortunately, the pirate page translator is no longer active, please translate words yourself with the translator below!

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Welcome again ye scallywags and wenches!  This here be International Talk Like a Pirate Day for 2013!  Enjoy the podcast and don’t forget to check out the 2011 show and the 2012 show with Captain Barbossa and Captain Sparrow!

The Audio:

[powerpress feed=”podcast”]

Barbossa (with Jack Sparrow) as he appears in ...

Barbossa (with Jack Sparrow)

Continue reading »

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Feb 232015
 
Relief map of Europe and surrounding regions

Image via Wikipedia

Ralph likes to dish stuff out.  He likes to rail on myself and Bob about not getting our posts out.  I have one thing to say to him!  You’re right.  If it wasn’t for Ralph, this blog would be like my other one.  By the way, if you have ever visited my other blog at justinsbrainpan.com, you may have noticed that the domain now shows a girl who I am sure is way to young to be desireable and some ads.  If you missed it, I have changed the domain (and host) to www.catharsisofthebogue.com.  Like the phone company lady says, Please make a note of it.

Now back to that…..Ralph.  Yes my balls have been dropped, wait, that sounds wrong.  I have repeatedly dropped the ball and posts have not been flying from my fingers like the proverbial roomful of monkeys.  I am not going to promise a change, but at least there are a few of my posts peppering the site from here and there, unlike Bob.  He is into taking the video world by storm and making a site that will make all of the other “How To” sites weep like little girls.

But where are the posts that were promised Robert?  I only hope that the Political Coot is a hit and we are getting loads of undeserved traffic.  Well slightly deserved traffic.  And you know what else? I keep finding places where www.catharsisofthebogue.com is not the current link for my stuff.  Good grief I have a lot of things that are pointing to the old site and not at www.catharsisofthebogue.com.

But I digress.  What are we going to do this year as the coots?  Well we are going to let Ralph carry us for the most part.  He doesn’t seem to have anything to do other than write anyway, (well there is that Europe trip so his wife will not either castrate him or hang him by his ankles in the town square) and Bob and I will contribute infrequently and sporadically.  That way it will keep you readers guessing when I am going to shower you with shit er wisdom.

Cantankerous Old Coots is a great site with some wonderful things going on in the cantankerous realm of Cantankerosity.  I can’t exactly recall what those great things are right now, but trust me, they are great.  Keep coming back here and reading this drivel that I am producing, you will be grateful for the poetry that Ralph puts out.  Bob is on his own, he likes video anyway.

Stay tuned faithful readers, there will still be variety here at the coots most of the time.  Otherwise, I guess this is just ralphcarlsonblog.com part deux.

Have a dandy weekend.

-Justin

PS I am curious to know why the “suggested post tags” came up with Preparation H as a term…..I am confused.

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Feb 232015
 

 

Well folks, in the grand tradition of sites everywhere I am participating in yet another year end post.  Today I have a few awards to hand out.

 

We will start right here with the coots:

Justin, that’s me, gets the Laziest Coot  with the most Crap to Do award.  I award myself this because it seems the hours that used to be productive are now stolen by a 1 year old and cleaning up the house.  I can only hope that 2012 will allow me to get more sleep and concentrate more on my business and making some dough.  Both bread and money.

Ralph will get the Most Persistent award.  It seems like he has nothing better to do most of the time so he writes.  He has kept this blog afloat this year and even went above and beyond to get a post out on Christmas.  Well done Ralph.

Bob gets an award that is similar to mine.  He gets the Too Damn Much on His Plate for His Own Good award.  This year has seen him start several sites and purchase much software that will keep him occupied for hours trying to figure it out.  And then he suckers me into his world as well….

To Hansi, he gets the Only Person Who Reads this Blog Consistently and Comments award.  If it wasn’t for  him, we would have no interaction at all.

To Steve Jobs, the About Damn Time You Gave Up award.  Now I am not against Steve Jobs, but, good grief if you know what I mean.

To JustHost.com, they get the You Lost A Customer With Your Crap Policies and Mediocre Customer Service award.  That title says it all, but the best service I have received from them over the last 2 years was when I was canceling my account there.

and in a related award, To HostGator.com.  There is a reason everyone and their dog recommends them.  They get the You Gained A Customer With Clear Policies and Customer Service That Should Be The Textbook Model for Customer Service Around The World In Every Field award.

To Google, you get the award for making us all paranoid about SEO rankings and what we are going to do to keep from getting blackballed in the rankings.  I call it the “Thanks For Making All Of Us Your Bitch” Award.

To Bing, you get the What The Hell Is Bing Anyway award.

and finally to our lawmakers in Washington, you get the I Voted For This?? award for proposing SOPA.  Look it up if you wish I don’t want to explain it more than to say it is stupidity on the hoof, at your expense.

Well that about wraps it up for this year and this edition of the Coots Awards.  We are staring firmly into the gaping maw of 2012 and I am kind of getting a “Sarlaac Pit” feeling, it is going to be a long year.

Yet, for all of that, Happy New Year from the Coots.  Now go get your Christmas Lights down and lets look forward to Martin Luther King Day.

-Justin

 

PS here are some doozy articles that we have written and you may have missed.  Enjoy.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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