Jun 172012
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Puberty Blues

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Next Week the coots will be Writing our monthly theme: this month, Oil Stains!  I hope Bob gets his stuff fixed so that he can unleash…he has a good one coming.  Dont forget to head over to the sidebar there on the right and vote for our April theme.  There promises to be some good stuff there also.  You can also send us suggestions, the email form is over there as well.  I would really like to write on a topic suggested by the readers.  You know who you are.  I would also like some input on the podcasts; I haven’t done one for a while and I would like to get back to it.  I do want some help though.  Topics for the podcast?  want to be a guest?  We can do that.  Send me an email and let me know.   Enough of this, onto today’s post.

This didn’t get posted last week for a number of reasons.  I am not going to count them.  Anyway, I have an interesting situation over here.  Ralph and Bob have already been through this stage but it is new for me. That stage is puberty.  For my DAUGHTER not me you tools.  Yes my 10 year old is starting that horrific  special wonderful incredibly necessary but oh my dear lord how are we going to live through the hormones shift so innocently called puberty.

While I am not exactly terrified, I am planning a fortified bunker in my basement so that I can lock her away into it.  With these hormones that are beginning to rage, I can see another form of rage building in her.  That rage is quickly becoming cantankerosity.  She has a way to go of course but I am not sure how I am going to handle this.  Do I let her develop on her own or do I give gentle nudges and tuition in Cantankerous Old Coots University?  I am leaning towards the latter.

I can see now just how valuable the lessons of Cantankerous Old Coots University are when I have someone to mold into her own coot.  She has been in training for a black belt in sarcasm for 10 years now.  She is no where near the Jedi level that I hold, but she is coming along.  Focusing hormones and rage into sarcasm and cantankerosity is a challenge that I am at least uniquely qualified for.  I have to get her away from the fatalistic attitude that she is starting to get.

It is time to form her and guide those hormones into a cantankerosity worthy of the great masters, Howard Beal, Ralph, Bob, Redd Fox and others.  But she still has to be a decent girl that people will want to hang out with.  Someone who will bring boys home that I won’t have to bury in the backyard after the first date.  There is a particular challenge there, she is a good person now, but I can see how easily she could rebel and turn into….well…that girl I need to lock in the basement.

So, what to do?  The first step is a deep breath.  Next, subtle guidance to channel the onslaught of hormones into something productive.  I see her own blog in the near future.  After that, more deep breaths and the lessons of Cantankerous Old Coots University.  If you haven’t checked them out, you really should.

Thanks for your support and remember that tuition dollars are due by the end of March.



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Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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  8 Responses to “Burgeoning Cantankerosity!”

  1. I’ll help if you want =P Being female, and having gone through that awful stage relatively recently.

    Wouldn’t recommend the basement by the way, it doesn’t actually keep us away from anything and in some cases (*cough*most*cough*) makes it far more tempting to do exactly what we’re not supposed to do. You remember the one surely;

    “Don’t you dare do blah blah blah!”

    *hadn’t thought of it prior but is now going to* “Fine, whatever.”

    Food for thought. 😉

  2. Hang in there Justin; all things must pass. You may want to fasten your seat belt however.

    • Thanks Hansi, I am installing a 5 point racing harness for this ride, my son will be right behind her. After that the other two wont be so bad.

  3. Justin,
    I am clueless about girls so don’t expect any useful advice from me- but then you have probably given up on that anyway. What I will say, generically, is that somehow you get through this time. Looking back my instincts were roughly correct all alone the way although I received nothing along the way to confirm that. All indications, whether from my sons, school teachers, nosy parents of other kids were that I was a miserable failure. It was only years later that my kids discovered my virtues and I discovered that I had raised decent human beings. Close your eyes, plug your ears and hold on for the ride.

    • Thanks Ralph, it is good to know that I will only be appreciated later, saves some heartache along the way. It must be like artists, they may do good work but it is much more valuable after they die…..

      For some reason I never really thought about my kids being teenagers, they were small and then in college, no in between. Oh well, I survived 3 sessions of potty training relatively unscathed, this is just the next stage of crap flying around needing to be cleaned up.

  4. No worries, let me know.

  5. Yes, don’t give them any ideas!

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