Apr 022014
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I witnessed a phenomenon in Wal-Mart tonight.  Maybe it was just Wal-Mart but there was a lady (term loosely used entirely based on gender and not the language) who was walking with a cart full of kids down the main aisle.  A guy with a couple of kids himself came out from a crossing aisle in front of her.  He said “Oh Sorry” as he got out of her way.  She replied with a few explicatives and “Fine just run over me!”

Now, you may be wondering what cantankerous lesson this could yield.  Well it is not the attitude of the woman, entirely.  She was what Ralph has referred to as an Angry Old Fart in this post. Now, what the man did was not cantankerous.  It was not even, well, very manly.

He meekly said, “I didn’t.” to the womans back as she was stalking away.  Now, the cantankerousness is available.  It should be used.  This situation left the woman, who was in the wrong (not by being a woman but by being a pain in the ass) with a feeling of superiority and self satisfaction.

I felt sorry for the guy and if I would have had a coots business card I would have given him the first 5 lessons at Coots University for free(it’s called foreshadowing kids, look it up), just to help this poor guy get his balls back from his wifes purse and be a man damnit!

I believe the correct response should have been something along the lines of, “You didn’t mind it last night!” or “Watch where you’re driving that stupid shopping cart you cow!”  Or even just “Same to you!” followed by a rude gesture or explosion of flatulence.

We are getting way too pacified people!  We let those few who think they are in charge brow beat the rest of us into giving in.  We let the medical community push us around under pretenses of patient confidentiality when it is all just a sham.  Why should people get away with being rude in any store when someone apologizes.

Sure, if you shop at all, there will be a moment when you step in front of someone or cut someone off or even walk out of an aisle too fast and nearly hit someone.  A polite “excuse me” or “sorry” should be sufficient to not make a federal case out of it.  Of course, there are those who want to push.

To them you can only respond with a “Same to you!” or “The sun seems to be going down would you mind bending over seeings as how the light shines from your ass?”

Take a stand.  Be a real person and not one of the faceless automatons who gives in to people who are louder or are seemingly more forceful.  Don’t just do what the nancy boys over in legal tell you you must do.  A coot says what he or she thinks.  A coot sticks to that.  Like we have said before, a true Coot will give the deserving party the Mapquest directions straight to Hell without passing go.

Quit being a ninny.

Watch for a huge, large, big, fantastic, stupendous, unprecedented announcement concerning this  site.  Stay tuned for more.



Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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  4 Responses to “Coots Lesson 13: Same to you!”

  1. Justin,
    You are a genius. This is a perfect example to use for developing a true cantankerous old coot spirit and joie de vivre. Question for readers. What should the man have done or said? The best response gets and advance copy of the long awaited Introduction of Cantankerous Old Coots University. Lets hear some good responses. Your know you want to be the first to get the course.

  2. Hmmmm

    Think for once I may have to disagree. I think the guy had every “right” to go off and it wouldn’t have bugged me if he did but in some situations I don’t think that prudence necessarily is a bad thing.

    In situations like this I think, “what will it gain”
    If it were a kid I would probably snipe back…they may learn

    If I had been hurt, my children had been hurt or she had in any way maligned my children, for sure she is a due a verbal ass whupping

    It sounds to me that will this nasty old crone all you would gain from talking back is wasted energy. Why should I waste my time and effort to “school” the evil witch when all it would do is “take up” my time and energy

    I am usually for snappy comebacks (especially the ones I think of ten minutes later) but often it is just better to just let some things go

    • sometimes discretion is the better part of valor even if it is not cantankerous. It’s how you stay married sometimes.

  3. Well I’ll be damned. You mean THAT’S why I keep becoming single again…over and over?

    Actually, I’m nice to everyone, regardless of whether they are nice to me or not. I just spend far less time and effort being nice to the a**holes. For example, I wave. I wave at everyone. Nice folks get a full, complete wave without regard for how much effort it takes to do it up proper.

    In the case of the not so nice, I try to save energy and effort. One way I do this is by waving with only one finger…

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