Feb 232015
 
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Hey folks.  I was sitting here thinking about the CFBTN and looking at some stats.  I don’t know if it is being valued.  No comments, not much readership, I would like some real feedback at the end of this post or I may just shelve it for a while.  Ralph is still going strong with the Coots News Service on Sundays and maybe 2 news days are just too much.  Besides, most of the news lately is funny anyway.

Mao Sugiyama Cooks, Serves Own….

You know what, there are things I am not going to put on here.  Now where is that link to the see through swimsuit…..

Dumb women more attractive – study

Now here is some nice solid scientific evidence of the No Duh!  Ok I like smart women but smart women, like my wife, are not being sought out by the magazines.  Let’s face it, in America we like our eye candy dumb so we can appreciate the smart ones in our homes.

"'A man may be down but he's never out!' ...

"'A man may be down but he's never out!' Home Service Fund Campaign. Salvation Army. May 19 — 26 1919." Salvation Army poster. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rigged device explodes at Salvation Army; 2 hurt

There are two ways to go with this.  First, a training accident at the Salvation Army!  Maybe they should get some real Army guys in there to train them.  Second, who the hell benefits from blowing up the Salvation Army???  A charitable organization that fixes up things for the underprivileged and helps all over the world.  Lets kill some of them huh?  Yea, sounds like a good idea.

 

Bear falls safely from tree after police tranquilized it (PHOTO)

While the title says it all, you have to see the picture.  It is priceless.

 

Prison Food or School Food?

I had a hard time with this one….it all looks so….so….well…..you have to decide.

 

Now folks here is the poll, answer and be helpful.

This poll isn't going to end until I get some input!

Is the CFBTN flailing like a drowning rat and should it be put down?

View Results

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Have a great Memorial Day Weekend.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Oct 192013
 
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CGI Team Creates Realistic Oscar for Michael B...

CGI Team Creates Realistic Oscar for Michael Bay - Onion (Photo credit: Steve Rhodes)

Hey Folks, more odd news for you today.  How do you all like the CFBTN? something we should keep?  Let us know in the comments and your opinions will be considered or rejected appropriately.  Let’s get to it shall we?

 

 

Real-world beaming: The risk of avatar and robot crime

Don’t be excited that we can have some virtual interactions and technology is making leaps and bounds, worry about the “possible” bad stuff.  Next Bob will be telling us the government is full of robots and they are going to take over the Presidency soon.  Like the President doesn’t seem like a puppet most of the time anyway.

 

Officer among injured in Bucks Co. head-on crash

This is sure not on my list of “things to do”.  Crashing into a police car is just asking for trouble.  My take, Bartender: You shouldn’t be driving. Driver: Yer not the bosssss of me!  I drive a mercedes!

Well to do fool with alcohol on board thinking he owns the road.  My wife used to get all of these drunk driver accidents in the ER.  Somewhere around 90% of the drunk drivers walk away from the accident with the other car taking all of the damage.  Many people die or are seriously injured by someone who walks away.  Good luck to the Officer they have a tough job and they don’t need drunk idiots slamming into them.

Margaret Thatcher Isn’t Dead Yet

Whew!  I worried about this all week!  And they have a website!  Gotta love the Brits.

Police: Man threw pitchfork at child’s bike, dumped beer on him

Ummmmmm….HUH??????  I thought Pennsylvania was better than this, I guess not.

A related graphic:  

 

Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!!!!

Nation’s Moms Invent New Recreational Drug To Worry About

Is it just me or do things like this actually happen a lot?

Anyway folks, that is the CFBTN for this week.  I would love your suggestions for stories if you have them.  There is a form in the sidebar or you can email me at justin@cantankerousoldcoots.com.

Thanks for reading and thanks to theonion.com and fark.com for being aggregators of some funny stuff.  Have a great weekend.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Jun 012013
 
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1926 Ford Model T

1926 Ford Model T (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello everyone.  If you haven’t noticed, a slight change to our posting schedule is now placing the CFBTN on Friday!  That’s right I will have a few stories here to get you through your weekend.

Now, I was perusing theonion.com and fark.com for some good news stories because they usually have the humor already distilled.  I did find that the regular news is full of funny stuff and it is not too far fetched to get the funny from my local news.  But not today.  Let’s get right to it shall we?

Fergus Falls man arrested for disorderly conduct while mowing lawn in loin cloth

And you guys thought this was a free country and Bob was more than a little crazy for his Tinfoil Hat Club.  Ha!  I just bought some Reynolds wrap….

All yours for £1.75millon: Entire village for sale includes a haunted castle, a Lordship title, 70 homes and approval for a holiday park

I’ll tell you, I am saving my pennies and hoping they have a payment plan.  I did the conversion for you, that equals $2,826,580.71.  I could be a real Lord and then my kids would have to listen to me or I could have them thrown in the dungeon!

Zoo keeper licked constipated monkey’s buttocks for an hour to help it defecate a peanut

This guy is either a) Way too committed to his job, b) a pervert, or c)…you know there is no other choice except all of the above and that is what I vote.  Good grief, get some ex-lax already.

Mosquitoes Don’t Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows

I knew it all along…..

And a related story: (this one is an audio clip)    Justice….sweet Justice

And now your political funny:

Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot

I just don’t quite know what to do…

And now, here is a video wrapping up the week in transportation:

Kid Screaming Behind Passenger During Entire Plane Crash 

I do agree with the last sentence, criticize if you want but you clicked on it.

And finally, I found this story.

Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air

I do believe that this country is too into video.  Everywhere.  I am worried that Bob may try something like this when he gets his government scrambler implanted….
Have a great weekend, if you have a suggestion for the CFBTN send it to me: Justin@cantankerousoldcoots.com.

and sorry for the ads on the videos, but hey, they are free.

Later.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Apr 262012
 
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Large black bear at garbage pails on wagon, Ye...

Large black bear at garbage pails on wagon, Yellowstone National Park (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well Friends we have decided that there is just too much news out there for Ralph to handle on his own.  The CNS is still alive and well and will continue to come live on Sunday’s.  Thursdays however will be filled with the funny stories.  Stories of the odd, the strange, and the funny.  Feel free to form your own opinions, and then let us ridicule you in the comments.  Shall we proceed?

 

Your Fourth Wife Flies Free on Kulula Airlines

If you are headed on vacation this summer you may want to think about this airline.  And no Utah jokes inserted here….I only have 1 wife.

 

Austin police: Man beaten to death with guitar

These kids today, can’t learn how to play anything that doesn’t have buttons or flashy graphics.   I kind of feel sorry for the guitar.

Imaginary scenes from the 1960s Zambian space program

There is something strange in the water in Zambia.  First this guy wants to start a space program and then only needs $7 million to do it?  I can only see a couple of garbage cans duct taped together with a couple of skeletons inside being shot down by the Space Station before it takes out a solar panel.

Cars trashed! Garbage truck amok with drowsy driver

I am not so sure that this guy fell asleep as much as was pissed the garbage cans were not quite in the right spot.

Man skipped in line allegedly beats McDonald’s manager with bat

Good Hell man, it is only a Big Mac.

Va. couple accidentally shot at gun safety class

The only gun control that I believe in, dumbasses should not be allowed to handle firearms.

 

And now some videos, totally reminiscent of Fox News…

Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power

All hail the google, keeper of the stats, please don’t blackball my site.

Obama’s Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone

Poor guy can’t even catch a break for lunch.  No matter your politics, let the brother eat already.

Romney, Santorum Supporters To Beat Living Sh!# Out Of Each Other At Montana Primary

Finally!   This is how a primary election should be!  Maybe the general election should work like this in the electoral college.  I nominate Frazer, Ali,  and Sugar Ray Leonard as electors from Utah.

 

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself

I have no words but this doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

I hope you all had a laugh or two, See you tomorrow.

Special thanks to fark.com and theonion.com

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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