Folks…a new computer means moving software, which means redoing some software settings.
That’s a little item I forgot, and since my posts are recordings of the live Tuesday morning show, I can’t go back and make it better, so…
This is the best I can do this week. However, look at it this way…there is nowhere to go but up!
[powerpress]
Image by Cloe_rose via Flickr
Have you ever experienced such a pis poor offering of news as this week? Well it just pushes the Coot’s News Service to work harder finding stories that make the week brighter. Let’s start with the President who reached the half-century mark this week by having a cook-out followed by a sock hop in the White House . The country may be on the ropes but we’ve got a leader that knows how to party hearty. You go Prez!
Continuing the good news, maybe you can’t afford to send Junior to Yale- or even community college but it doesn’t mean he can’t have a bright future. Plenty of big companies are run by college dropouts. Just tell him to get a job or- better yet- start up a company in the garage.
Continuing with the good news is this breakthrough research. It seems that living a healthy lifestyle is nothing but hogwash Scientists find that it doesn’t contribute a bean to living longer. It seems that you die when you are supposed to die no matter what you eat and how you exercise so forget all that healthy crap your doctor has pushed on you. Eat up! Loosen that belt and let it all hang out.
Have you been conned into a membership with Angies List yet. Apparently it helps you find the best suppliers but it is also a vehicle for complainers. Thanks to Angie, anyone with a beef can post a compliant about a business. Doctors are no exception. Would you like to know that Dr. J has cold hands? Maybe you’d like to avoid Dr. K who has bad breath. Well with all this negative going around Doctors have come back with their own website. This one lets other Doctors know what patients are chronic complainers. It’s only fair.
Now we come to a breakthrough new product we may all be needing soon. It’s a coat that turns into a sleeping bag – perfect when you are homeless – a coat you can live in.
We are going to wrap up the news this week with something light hearted. It’s a game. See if you can match the thief with the object they stole. I tried it and believe me it’s harder than it looks.
That’s the news for this week. Given what we had to work with, I’m pretty pleased. Keep smiling no matter what the reporters throw at you until we post the next edition of CNS next week. Keep smiling!
Hello there! I hope this week was full of both Joy and Cantankerousness. Today we have another Question answered by the Coots. If you have a question that you would like Bob, Ralph and myself to answer, send it to askacoot@cantankerousoldcoots.com and we will bring 3 different takes on Cantankerosity.
First, I have a small bone to pick with you all, the reading audience. I have not received nearly the response that I had hoped when we started the Ask A Coot feature. As a matter of fact, I have no, I repeat NO more questions waiting. I will have to make some more up. And again, I really freakin’ confused at why these pictures keep showing up when the text is analyzed. If you have a suggestion, let me know.
Today’s Question is almost philosophical in scope. It comes to us from our own Ralph. He wrote: : So tell me, since the President pardons the Thankgiving Turkey every year, what does the President eat for Thanksgiving?
A great question. I think it is only fair to let him answer first.
Ralph:
This seems to be a closely guarded secret leaving this Coot to speculation and reason in search for an answer. Clearly it would be hypocritical for the President to pardon Turkey 1 and then kill and eat Turkey 2. The Presidential turkey surely follows the same convention as the Presidential airplane. Whichever one he is on is Air Force 1. Applying this logic, any turkey reaching the President’s table is automatically Turkey 1. Therefore the President cannot be eating turkey without at the same time being a total hypocrite. Totally unacceptable.
As to what the President does eat, the mind can certainly boggle over the possibilities: a nice rib rost, maybe a goose or an exultation of roasted larks. Eating meat at all after pardoning the star seems to this coot to be the beginning of a very slippery slope. Imagine what PETA would say?
Surely they would demand the pardon of any beasts destined for the President’s Thanksgiving or multiply pardons in the case of larks. Being surrounded with PR geniuses, I am sure that the President plays it very safe on Thanksgiving. First, the menu is top secret to protect against any misinterpretation of his sensitivity but second my theory is that Thanksgiving at the White House means the very safe and delicious vegetarian delight – tofurkey.
Justin:
Personally I think that this year he ate crow. In more ways than one. But in reality, I think that the White House is only occupied by liars and hypocrites. Over the years the job has evolved to require it. I don’t think there is any room in Washington for people to be totally honest anymore. Abraham Lincoln would be sad. Thomas Jefferson would shrug his shoulders. George Washington would probably try to philosophize about the problem. And all of them would be eating a lovely Turkey Dinner.
There is quite a mentality of “Here is what I believe, this is policy” and “don’t look this way because “policy” doesn’t apply to me.” that happens at the same time in modern politics. All I can see is a bunch of posturing for cameras and the press, hoping to put a positive spin on whatever crisis is facing the country at the moment. Behind the cameras, things go on as normal. Now I am not saying that the men we elect to be president are not good people to start with. (hold your protests even Jimmy Carter was good when he was a baby) Politics changes men into people who pander to popular opinion and lie and breed hypocrisy.
Pardoning a turkey is just a silly thing that provides a photo opportunity for the President. The turkey used to go to Disneyland and live a life of luxury, in turkey terms that is. The turkey federation has been bringing turkeys to the White House for years, Eisenhower and Johnson ate their birds. It took Kennedy to let the bird live. It’s all silly. Eat the damn bird, that is what they are bred for. Besides, have you ever actually looked at a turkey? Ugly as sin walking around, a beautiful thing roasted golden brown with dressing and cranberries.
What should the President eat? Eat the Turkey. Maybe we should start a new tradition where the president chops off the turkey’s head right there on national TV and then proceeds to field dress and pluck it. Of course we would have to start beheading PETA’s people and that would be fine with me. I don’t know that most of the current presidential prospects could handle dispatching a turkey. I’ll bet Eisenhower could have without blinking an eye.
Well Folks that is a lot of information, and we have yet to hear from Bob. he will weigh in in the comments and probably blow us all away.
Thanks for reading, and remember, send in your questions no matter the absurdity of it! We will answer and change your name for anonymity’s sake. Submit questions to askacoot@cantankerousoldcoots.com
