The three of us resident coots…Justin, Ralph, and me…were talking the other day about ways to improve Cantankerous Old Coots. We kicked around a few ideas, some of which you’ll see us roll out over the next month or two, and some of which (thank God) will never see the light of day.
After about an hour of discussion (and not a few snarky comments from Ralph) Justin and Ralph suggested…rather pointedly I thought…that no matter what else we did, if we didn’t keep the writing quality to a high standard, COC would founder.
By virtue of my paranoia acute observational skills, even over the Skype connection I could tell they were talking about the dumb redneck boiled peanut salesman from Georgia, namely me.
Being the reserved, quiet, non-confrontational sort I quietly informed them both that I could outwrite both of them with half a keyboard tied behind my back, even before having my first cup pot of coffee in the morning, and if anyone needed to pick up their writing skills it was them. I know I did it quietly because the feedback in my headset was tolerable.
Painful…but tolerable.
I mean…com’on…how much kettlebell crap and retirement sackcloth and ashes do you folks want to listen to, huh? Wouldn’t you much prefer my astute observations on Washington idiocy, TSA sexual assaults at airports, and the sad state of public education…and the pithy way I present that information?
In their defense, Justin and Ralph DO have some limiting factors in their pitiable attempts to match my writing skills.
Besides writing, both here at Cantankerous old Coots AND at JustinsBrainPan (what the hell kinda blog name IS that, anyway?) AND being a stay-at-home dad…and playing those silly kettlebells, Justin doesn’t have a lot of time and energy to put into quality writing, so his dragging COC down is understandable, if unfortunate.
As for poor, poor Ralph…well, we all use a certain amount of brain power on each blog we write, and we all only have so much brain power to start with, and Ralph does have to keep try to keep quality work on his blog RalphCarlsonBlog, and…well…there just isn’t much left over. I wouldn’t want to say he doesn’t have much to work with, but he did choose to live in Californeeee, after all. Not just that, but he chose to be right next door to UCBerkley, for God’s sake! His limitations are obvious.
As for ME…well, I’ve known for years I am the Smartest Man in the World, and frankly I’ve never been short on the willingness to share that fact…with family, neighbors, friends, and now y’all…so it’s obvious to me that MY writing certainly is up to snuff, both here and over at MY blog, JuicyMaters.com, but…
Justin and Ralph don’t agree. Actually, they disagree quite vemnt…vehamtl…veamentall…oh crap…strongly, so we are leaving it up to you, my our readers, to decide who is best. This week’s post comments will be counted, and the post with the most comments wins the Golden Coot Award for best, most cantankerous coot on this blog.
If I win it will prove to Justin and Ralph who is REALLY the best writer here at COC.
You ask, “IF you lose?” Well, I don’t think that’s possible, but if it happens it proves you, the readers, have a mental acuity on the level of Justin and Ralph, and I truly feel sorry for y’all.
