Oct 192013
 

If you have read almost anything on this blog you will have noticed that we have some pretty strong opinions.  Bob just joined us recently because his opinions fit right in with Ralph and I.  Today, we are going to take flight in a new direction.  Podcasting.  There is a very special announcement in this podcast….you have been warned.

[powerpress]

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Oct 192013
 
CGI Team Creates Realistic Oscar for Michael B...

CGI Team Creates Realistic Oscar for Michael Bay - Onion (Photo credit: Steve Rhodes)

Hey Folks, more odd news for you today.  How do you all like the CFBTN? something we should keep?  Let us know in the comments and your opinions will be considered or rejected appropriately.  Let’s get to it shall we?

 

 

Real-world beaming: The risk of avatar and robot crime

Don’t be excited that we can have some virtual interactions and technology is making leaps and bounds, worry about the “possible” bad stuff.  Next Bob will be telling us the government is full of robots and they are going to take over the Presidency soon.  Like the President doesn’t seem like a puppet most of the time anyway.

 

Officer among injured in Bucks Co. head-on crash

This is sure not on my list of “things to do”.  Crashing into a police car is just asking for trouble.  My take, Bartender: You shouldn’t be driving. Driver: Yer not the bosssss of me!  I drive a mercedes!

Well to do fool with alcohol on board thinking he owns the road.  My wife used to get all of these drunk driver accidents in the ER.  Somewhere around 90% of the drunk drivers walk away from the accident with the other car taking all of the damage.  Many people die or are seriously injured by someone who walks away.  Good luck to the Officer they have a tough job and they don’t need drunk idiots slamming into them.

Margaret Thatcher Isn’t Dead Yet

Whew!  I worried about this all week!  And they have a website!  Gotta love the Brits.

Police: Man threw pitchfork at child’s bike, dumped beer on him

Ummmmmm….HUH??????  I thought Pennsylvania was better than this, I guess not.

A related graphic:  

 

Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!!!!

Nation’s Moms Invent New Recreational Drug To Worry About

Is it just me or do things like this actually happen a lot?

Anyway folks, that is the CFBTN for this week.  I would love your suggestions for stories if you have them.  There is a form in the sidebar or you can email me at justin@cantankerousoldcoots.com.

Thanks for reading and thanks to theonion.com and fark.com for being aggregators of some funny stuff.  Have a great weekend.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Jun 012013
 
1926 Ford Model T

1926 Ford Model T (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello everyone.  If you haven’t noticed, a slight change to our posting schedule is now placing the CFBTN on Friday!  That’s right I will have a few stories here to get you through your weekend.

Now, I was perusing theonion.com and fark.com for some good news stories because they usually have the humor already distilled.  I did find that the regular news is full of funny stuff and it is not too far fetched to get the funny from my local news.  But not today.  Let’s get right to it shall we?

Fergus Falls man arrested for disorderly conduct while mowing lawn in loin cloth

And you guys thought this was a free country and Bob was more than a little crazy for his Tinfoil Hat Club.  Ha!  I just bought some Reynolds wrap….

All yours for £1.75millon: Entire village for sale includes a haunted castle, a Lordship title, 70 homes and approval for a holiday park

I’ll tell you, I am saving my pennies and hoping they have a payment plan.  I did the conversion for you, that equals $2,826,580.71.  I could be a real Lord and then my kids would have to listen to me or I could have them thrown in the dungeon!

Zoo keeper licked constipated monkey’s buttocks for an hour to help it defecate a peanut

This guy is either a) Way too committed to his job, b) a pervert, or c)…you know there is no other choice except all of the above and that is what I vote.  Good grief, get some ex-lax already.

Mosquitoes Don’t Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows

I knew it all along…..

And a related story: (this one is an audio clip)    Justice….sweet Justice

And now your political funny:

Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot

I just don’t quite know what to do…

And now, here is a video wrapping up the week in transportation:

Kid Screaming Behind Passenger During Entire Plane Crash 

I do agree with the last sentence, criticize if you want but you clicked on it.

And finally, I found this story.

Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air

I do believe that this country is too into video.  Everywhere.  I am worried that Bob may try something like this when he gets his government scrambler implanted….
Have a great weekend, if you have a suggestion for the CFBTN send it to me: Justin@cantankerousoldcoots.com.

and sorry for the ads on the videos, but hey, they are free.

Later.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Jul 252012
 

We are Cantankerous, that is established.  For some reason, when we start talking about Coots, Zemanta (a groovy little plugin that helps you add pictures to your posts) brings up this:

Common Coots

Image via Wikipedia

These are Coots.  Worse they are common coots.  At this site, we strive to be way beyond common.  Typing “Coots” into Google gives you 10 different sites with definitions of the birds.  Finally at number 11 is our site, the Cantankerous Old Coots.com.  Not too bad, but we are ever striving to get that higher.  As our Alexa rank rises alongside the readership of this site, Google can’t help but put us above some mangy waterfowl.

I would like to start typing Coots in this blog and wait for Zemanta to bring up these pictures:

 or even  or heaven forbid

  Of course it could just as easily bring up

 and I don’t even know who that guy is.

Alas, dreams they be and as ethereal as the wind unless all of you keep coming back and telling your friends about us.  The year is almost over now and there are big things in store for 2012.  Stay tuned.  and in the meantime, review our manifesto with the link below and number 14 of the Coots Lessons.  You can learn all about being Cantankerous with the lessons and join Hansi as a graduate of the prestigious and venerable Coots University.

Check it out over the weekend.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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A Coots Retrospective

 Posted by at 10:08  Coot Smirk
Jan 202012
 
Chemical structure of Caffeine.

Image via Wikipedia

This post today represents the 199th post on Cantankerous Old Coots.  I thought we could take a peek back at the year that was and explore a bit about this site, and the snarky comment that started it all.

It is only appropriate that Ralph will have the 200th post on the Coots.  Not only has he posted the most on this site, it was his comment over on my blog Catharsis of the Bogue that started all of this madness.  It was March 22nd of last year that I started this site.  On the 23rd I wrote the following post:

Well folks I did something very impulsive last night. I was sitting here trying to come up with some topic to write on. I am tired and only partially fueled by caffeine. My wife said I had that “look” and tonight’s post would be a doozy. She has seen the writing frenzy that exhaustion and caffeine has wrought.
The problem was this. Carlos sucked all of the ideas out of me during the PreWriting Challenge! Ok not really but it has been a day of writers block for post titles. I have a couple of story ideas though. I had a thought this morning after taking the kids to school that I hope I was not running dry of ideas. I am almost at my 3 month mark and ready to push past it.
I know there are more ideas, I just either need more sleep or more caffeine to make them flow. Or some good inspiration. I went and read some blogs, left some comments and tweeted a bit. After that I went back to look at my comments just hoping there was something there.
And there was! My internet buddy and purveyor of many life experiences Ralph(http://ralphcarlsonblog.com/) had left a comment. The discussion was about niches, and fitting in, when Ralph says,
“I am not sure that there is any market for cantankerous old coots but if there were, I’d claim it.”
I laughed and replied that I would sign up for the RSS feed of that. I didn’t think much more about it until Dave Doolin pipes up with his sage advice to go claim it. So I did. Coming in the next week or so, I will have a bunch of work with another blog at www.cantankerousoldcoots.com.
I think I am going to fill the blog with the wisdom and rants of those older than me, even though I am getting up there myself. I hope to get Ralph to fill the first guest post with something profound, and later Dave with something that would be totally inappropriate on his site.
I need to create a badge….crossed Preparation H and Ben Gay over a grouchy old guy’s face…. Our motto could be “Whatever” and our niche is “Advice for life from old coots.” We of course would have to adopt a Red Green type lodge… Hmmmm there are many possibilities. I would love to hear suggestions. We would have bylaws too…if you are under 40 you need to have an old coot persona or you can’t be published. Only rants on things that were better in the past could be posted. Any bowel problems are better off on your own site unless they have a really funny punchline and a cute nurse involved.
Wow I must be tired. This is going to be huge amounts of fun. Let me know what you think in the comments and sign up for my newsletter, I will keep updates in that as well!
Thanks for reading!
-Justin

And now here we are 200 posts, 6 authors and 134,000 words published.  It has been a good year.  If you are new to this blog, thanks for coming!  Sign up for our newsletter and get the first Coots e-book from Cantankerous Old Coots University.  If you are one of our long time readers, thanks for sticking around and boosting our numbers!  If you have never commented, now is a good time to do so!  If you feel feverish, head on over to one of the Coots other blogs: Ralph’s, Bob’s or mine.

Also, Bob is a little under the weather this weekend and will not be spending it in his yurt where he belongs.  Send him a message over there to the right or to bob@cantankerousoldcoots.com  and let him know you are thinking about him.  Hopefully he will be back at full strength soon!

Have a great weekend

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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