Feb 232015
 
A General Motors LS3 Engine in a 2008 Corvette.

Image via Wikipedia

Are you getting a bit older? I know that Ol Ralph is up there approaching triple digits, and I think Justin is down there in the thirties or so, and I’m kind of stuck here in the middle in my mid fifties, and I think most of our readers are up there in the “second childhood” area. Some are probably like me, just never bothering to grow up. Others are likely like Ralph, suffering from old-timers disease.

Regardless of how you find yourself getting to your second childhood, you are probably ready for a grownup toy.

Boy, has Cadillac got your number. It’s a stupid toy, but it definitely falls into the bracket of “big boys’ toys” while giving mama something (stupid) to play with as well.

Cadillac decided to crossbreed station wagons and Corvettes. Now, right there ya gotta get the idea just how stupid the idea of this car is. I don’t care if the station wagon and the corvette get married or not, the result is still going to be a bastard.

You would think General Motors would learn. The corvette itself is a bastard child of an ill conceived crossbreed. Chevrolet got the idea that they could cross the sportiness of a true sports car with the luxury that soft-assed Americans were used to …and the Corvette was born. It was too heavy and lumbering to be a sports car, and too small and tight fitting to be a luxury car. The fact that it’s been so popular for 50 years is a tribute to American Advertising, the gullibility of the American buyer, or both.

Well, apparently General Motors is counting on American stupidity and good advertising to come through for them again.

The new car is a station wagon (Doh!) With a 500 plus horsepower Corvette engine. It will accelerate from zero to 60 miles per hour in 4 seconds, and has a top speed of (Holy speeding ticket, Batman!)…are you ready for this?… 190 miles per hour. In a Cadillac. Station wagon. Probably with a “Baby on Board” window dangly thing in the back window. And junior strapped to his car seat.

The price tag is north of $70,000.

Why do I give a rats ass, and why should you? Because we, you and I, now own General Motors, and I don’t think Madison Avenue is going to get as lucky this time.

Oh well, at least it will be good for the hot mamas that wind up with one. Maybe their snotty brats will quit complaining about being picked up from school in a station wagon.

 

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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Feb 232015
 
North America at night - Satellite image - Pla...

Image by PlanetObserver via Flickr

What the???? It is already Friday?  Wow where did the week go.  Now, I know the title of this post is going to make people think I am jumping on Bob’s political bandwagon and talking about Political parties but I am not that sophisticated.  The parties I speak of are actual parties, with people invading your house and spilling punch on the rug, kids who drop cake on the floor and that rogue ice cream cone you find the next day on your nice table and are just thankful that it is on the marble part and not the wood part.

Yes, parties can suck.  They sound like a good idea but they are entirely too much work for me.  Plus there are people coming over and judging you to the enth degree and looking down on your decisions and…well that is just my parents.  If you haven’t guessed by now, we are going to have a party on Saturday.  I am not looking forward to it.

Party may be a stretch to say, but a reception with cake and punch ends up being the same thing.  And family will be there.  Some of which we haven’t had any contact with for months.  Some who should have at least called during the turmoil of the past couple of months.  But enough about my Father.  It will be interesting to say the least.

See, my son is getting baptized into our church on Saturday and this is one thing that I don’t think Grandpa will miss.  Birthday’s and major catastrophe’s are not important enough but this just may be.  We will have to see.  I may have another great post for next week all about it.  Monday may be interesting around here.

On a side note to that, Bob has found that his video posts are very time consuming and he has way too much life to live over the weekend to not stay up all Sunday night getting a post ready.  He will be moving his videos to Tuesday.  I think I have finally figured out what to do with my podcasts as well.  I now have a garage and I am going to build me a little studio in there to go hide   record in.  I am going to shoot for next week on Thursday for a podcast!  Just audio though, I still am just lukewarm on video.

On another disjointed side note Pink Floyd is not bad for writing too.  Throw on “The Wall” and start a rant….not bad.  And I am not even on anything…..

So back to parties.  They sound like a good idea but I think I would rather go to a party than host one.  Leave my house alone and save your derision for someone else.  It is easy on the net to let things roll off of your back.  It is easy to dismiss any evil that is given to you via email or a comment.  It is another to sit in relative silence and deal with the eye rolls and nauseated yet sarcastic phrases that are spat out.

I have respect for my elders and I will always respect my Father for being my father.  I just don’t want to talk to him right now.  I am hoping that he doesn’t show up, but that is a horrible thing for him not to be to his Grandson’s big event.  I am afraid that there will be a shouting match and more people than should will end up in tears.

What a $#@&ed up situation.  In general, take your parties and count me out, I don’t need the stress.  I had better make sure my migraine pills are handy.

For all of you, have a good weekend, or go to hell.  I don’t know that I care right now.

See you next week.

-Justin

 

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Down with Feminism!

 Posted by at 11:02  Down with
Feb 232015
 
Young anarchist feminists at anti-globalizatio...

Image via Wikipedia

Enough is enough!

I have lived with feminists for all of my adult life. They have changed American life dramatically from the wholesome optimistic society of my youth in the 50’s to the pessimistic nanny state of today. Maybe feminists aren’t responsible for all the problems with America today. Still if there is something wrong with modern society that they didn’t cause, it is news to me.

You are nothing but a male chauvinist pig!

So what is wrong with the feminists? Let me count the ways.

Since their rise to power in the 60’s feminists have been lauded for lifting women from their lowly place as guardians of hearth and home and the powers behind the throne to their new place in society- rulers of the world. Look around and tell me that the feminized nanny state is an improvement over survival of the fittest. We have a world today where the state makes sure to handicap anybody with superior abilities and facilitate and elevate weak-minded bureaucrats to run the place.

But it’s all about equality!

“But wait a minute,” you say . “Feminism was just about freeing women to be all they can be -to steal a phrase from the Army. “How could that damage society? All they were doing is helping women to find their proper place in society since it certainly wasn’t raising children.  No, women deserved to be in charge.   So today as we deal with all the misery and confusion that a few selfish, pretentious, ugly,  misanthropic women have dumped on both men and women since then, nobody to this day has called them out for what they are-whining losers. Well Today that is going to stop. Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Carol Hanisch, and all you others, Today The Cantankerous Old Coots are calling you out for what you are.  Coot’s say down with feminists.

But they meant well!  Didn’t they?

It started innocently enough. Women were being held down, we heard, by cultural conditioning that defined a secondary role for women. Women were discouraged from having careers, barred from studying math and science and undervalued in the workplace. It seemed benign to make some adjustments to ‘level the playing field’ so to speak. And so it all began. As did all the unintended consequences.

Media messaged social engineering

It is interesting how these changes happened. It wasn’t that these loud, ugly and pretentious feminists were anything new. There have always been loud, ugly and pretentious women with dumb ideas. It is just that after the 60’s they had support from a fawning media that wanted change (it sounds just  like the Obama campaign). And over time, America started to get the message. Once our principles about society , gender roles and responsibilities were softened up and the evil male domination of society was exposed and demonized, the snowball kept rolling and growing all by itself. Soon, it was apparent to all but the most stubborn diehard  chauvinist pigs that men had no place in society once you removed them from control. Women didn’t need men! A turkey baster would do. Women had everything they needed to make the world a better place. Women could do anything that a man can do and more besides. Men were violent, controlling and self serving unlike caring, nurturing women. How many times have you heard the propaganda about what a wonderful, peaceful world we would have if women were in control?

And if you believe that, you probably never had a woman boss.

It was the dawn of a new order.

It soon became important to beat down the male dominated world view. Women needed careers.  They needed a life of their own away from their oppressive husbands and clinging kids.  Women could have it all. Men are abusers. Women are nurturers. So we juggled the books to make sure that what didn’t happen naturally was mandated by the nanny state. You don’t want to watch woman’s basketball? Too bad because colleges must spend equal amounts on men’s and women’s sports. You think that two parents are the way nature intended for children to grow up?  You are just an evil male supporting child abuse and wife-beating.

Feminism became the new world order.

Gradually, this idea became socially acceptable enough that government created laws and eventually the legal system added more feminization to society. Schools became so feminized that male students stopped attending. School and education is now female dominated and scorned by real men (excepting athletes).

Take a small step!

It may be too late to turn this around. There may not be enough real men left. There may be too few women who understand what they have lost when they beat the testosterone out of America and out of their sperm donors. But for what it is worth, this Coot is taking a stand today against feminism. I urge you to take a stand as well. Let’s take a small first step for mankind and help restore our language to sanity.  Let’s stamp out flipping pronouns. First lets take back the English language. Later we can take back society.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feb 232015
 

 

Bob’s a Bad Influence 

OK, if Bob’s going to slack off and then 24 hours late whine about how Yankees are destroying the South, there is no reason why I can’t do a little whining as well- even if it is out of character for me. I already gave a shout out because, at long last, we are experiencing the last of the silly Harry Potter movies. I suppose it is a relief to see anything positive about the UK these days so maybe I shouldn’t be so negative but I can only take so much. We are long past Britain as the ruler of the waves and the sun never setting on the Empire. They have come down quite a bit in the respect area over the past century. The best they can do these days is sending the Royals in funny hats out to titillate the peasants in Los Angeles or Ottawa or push Amy Winehouse on us. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me.  Harry Potter was a vehicle to present a positive image for Britain with attractive, un-pierced, un-tattooed and un-sexed young people who speak intelligible -if pommy- English.

I’m not planning to see this last gasp of British civilization but I still like to know enough about the dumb movie to have a few good comebacks when the topic comes up, I found this Cliff Notes version of the plot. It works for me and you might enjoy it as well.

Harry Potter- the laugh riot

Funny as the Harry Potter movies might be, I doubt if the Brits can even guess the depths of potential humor. I can’t wait until Mystery Science Theater 3000 gets hold of the series. It will be a hoot. Meanwhile, not only to we have to put up with the Royals and their damned hats, we get silly British college twits who think that life in America is funny. I’m going on the record here to say that I shop at Walmart and there is nothing funny about it.

Walmart, the movie

It’s bad enough that America has to police the world and defend countries that don’t have enough pride to defend themselves but when they put out movies touting their cultural superiority and then make fun of Walmart, it’s too much for me.

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Down with Aging

 Posted by at 11:01  Down with
Feb 232015
 

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

Kitty O’Neill Collins

Old age is a catastrophe.

There isn’t anything desirable about it. People aren’t like fine wine. They don’t get better, they only persevere. Even so, the world is full of Pollyanna’s concocting wonderful sounding benefits from aging. Those fools believe the hype ginned up to keep us from facing the truth. They will find out soon enough that it’s all a pile of crap. Aging sucks!

You don’t get wiser. You don’t get better looking. You don’t even get respect. You just get old. Nothing works like it used to. Your body sags and bags where it used to bulge and flex. Still aging is the best alternative available. As much as your quality of life deteriorates with aging, nobody wants to throw in the towel. People cling to life and accept aging even as they search for validation. Take me, for example. I don’t even feel like a grown-up yet.

Old-ageWhen do I get the secret handshake that tells me I’m grown-up? Sure I am old but looks aren’t everything. Just because the years pass doesn’t mean that your mind goes along. I have always felt a disconnect between my chronological age and the way I feel. Just reaching 21 and being able to buy a drink didn’t make me feel like a grown up. Heck, I’m still waiting for the special handshake that lets me know I’m an adult. I’ve been waiting for this a long time. Most of the time I am just as confused and insecure as a kid about what to do. It’s all I just put up a front and hope no one will notice. Continue reading »

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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