Don’t be dense!
This should be pretty obvious if you have been following our lessons. Unfortunately these days most people are pretty dense and seem unable to follow a stream of logic so we are going to be very blunt. Polite is a synonym for lie. It is just that simple. If you choose to remain oblivious to simple truths, we can’t do anything about it. Human nature is pathetic. We continually ask people to tell us things that we know are untrue. If you have to ask your husband whether a dress makes you look fat, you already know the answer. “Of course it does!” So now the poor man has two bad choices. He can say yes which will make you hate him for confirming the truth or he can say no which will make you hate him for lying. Most husbands are taught to be polite and lie through their teeth and most wives delight in making it impossible for them to be honest. No wonder marriage is in trouble these days.
Stop being a mealy mouthed liar!
We always seek to be inoffensive which of course causes us to lie. “That was a great cup of coffee, Carol. Can I have a refill.” The coffee tastes like battery acid. It is luke warm and the cream is curdled. “I’d love another piece of that delicious cake, Mrs. Smith.” The cake in questions is lumpy and tasteless. Who wins with such behavior? The answer, of course is nobody. If you don’t set these people straight, they will continue to inflict their shoddy goods on other unsuspecting victims. If they believe you they will have your encouragement to do it. If they don’t believe you, they brand you either as a fool or liar.
Be straight at work!
You may think that we are singling out women here but men are just as inclined to this foolishness as women. It just attaches to different activities. When it gets into the workplace, it is even worse because we are expected to lie as a condition of employment. Your boss may be a fool but he is unlikely to keep paying you if you tell him. Imagine the chaos if you said what you were thinking. Is the customer always right? Of course not. Could you fix their problem and get them out of your face if they would just shut up and go away. Of course. Because we think that polite is important, we waste everybody’s time and make everybody upset. It is a darn nuisance.
You aren’t getting any younger you know !
Cut out the crap. Tell it straight. Stop the lies and stop pretending that polite isn’t a synonym for lying, You don’t have tine for games. Time is a wasting and nobody is getting any younger. Next time somebody expects you to waste your time and theirs with mealy mouthed and duplicitous politeness, just say no. Tell them the truth and lets get on with life.
Ralph, my friend, those actions are not being polite and anyone who says they are is just dumb. A lie is a lie, not being polite. Being Polite is saying please and thank you when appropriate. Being polite is holding the door for someone as they enter or exit a building. Being polite should never equal lying…lying is ruder than telling the bald faced truth could ever be! Or maybe I am one of the few strange enough to see the differences?
‘Polite’ has been slandered too much. Lets all switch to ‘Courteous’ for please and thank yous.
Lies are lies; you can sit happily behind them and hide (and as you pointed out in the post, its way more comfortable to do so, and in some ways we’re trained). There was an interesting study I read a couple of months ago observing behavioural patterns in children. The part that really stands out is that even babies lie, for attention (how many times have you seen a baby cry for no reason; it’s not hungry, it doesn’t need changed, it’s not tired, you just happened to put it down for a second). As we get older we’re ‘meant’ to grow out of it but instead its reinforced pretty effectively by education, our families, our friends, everyone.
Lying is pretty bad, we all do it though. ‘White Lies’ are the ones I despise the most! In order to protect someone’s fragile feelings we go ahead and say things we don’t mean. No wonder that, when hearing a compliment, we’re all so skeptical.
Heather,
OMG yes! white lies are horrible.. hurt me with the turth I will respect you. Let me catch you in a lie, especially one meant to “save my feelings”, and I will loath you.
Girl and Heather. Life is tough.
.-= Ralph´s last blog ..50’s Nostalgia – Slow Dancing =-.
Ralph,
Actually life is a b&#@* but its more fun than not when you are doing the things you love. 🙂
.-= Gurl´s last blog ..The Asylum Report Card: May 2010 =-.
@Ralph
If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be worth having.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Alpha Maps: Control what other people see with textures =-.
You’re right – people are trying the best they can to be polite and sometimes it’s over rated – thank you for sharing.
Exactly