Jul 292014
 
Plunge dipping sheep

Image via Wikipedia

Hello sheep.  Following up on Ralph’s post from last week, I have decided to not just rewrite the fabulous Coot’s lessons, but to start over on the road to uniformity, conformity, and the bland whiteness of looking at a world with the wool pulled over your eyes.  So to speak.

Today I would like to start off with a little bit of conformity.  If Ralph, Bob and I cannot be your guides to Cantankerousness, then we will have to be your shepherds.  And, just a warning, sometimes it takes the stick in order to get an unruly sheep to behave.  Ralph even sent me this picture of him teaching his sons the conformity lesson.

So conformity tells us that we should all be the same.  Everything should be nearly identical in our beige lives under the blue sky.  You.  Over there in the pink shirt.  Go put on the grey uniform.  You.  Over there with the uncombed hair.  Report for haircut and style.  You.  Over there thinking that this is a joke and not really serious.  Get over here and prepare to be beaten into line.

There will be no free thinking anymore.  Previously we have tried to put out lessons and articles that allowed you all to make up your own minds and look at the world freely and go your own way.  Not anymore.  You will go our way.  If you try to go your own way, we will bring you back and make fun of you on Twitter.  If you try to think something different than what we want you to know, we will come over to your house and show you what an electric cattle prod is for.

I hope Heather wants to think differently, because I would love to go to Scotland.  So for now, all of you out there, prepare to follow the norm.  Prepare to follow us.  Prepare to actually be a sheep and follow.  You will never get off of the treadmill and your view will never change.  Enjoy the sameness.

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Nov 232013
 
Waldschafe

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We all know that the definition of insanity is to continue doing something that doesn’t work and expecting something different to happen. Well maybe the deep dark secret about about being a Cantankerous Old Coot is that we are just plain nuts. As if to prove this conclusion, when I sat down to write a post for Coots, my mind just started in automatic mode. Before I knew it, I had written a whole new Coot’s lesson. It’s embarrassing but we don’t waste anything around here. Due to being raised by depression parents, I can’t throw anything away and so futile as it may be, here is

Coot’s Lesson 17- Don’t Mess with Sheep.

City folk may not know but sheep are really annoying critters –  except to another sheep. I know from bitter experience. Long ago In a misguided moment my father bought some sheep for the farm where I grew up. I don’t know where the idea came from but those sheep provided an important lesson for my young life. Unless you are a sheep dog, don’t ever try to influence a sheep to do anything it wasn’t already doing.  You will be worn out and the sheep will get really mad.

Other farm animals think.

On our farm we raised just about every kind of farm animal. We had cows, pigs, chickens, horses. Each of these species has its own quirks but underneath it was always apparent that there was some intelligence working. There was reasoning behind their actions and once you understood those reasons , you could always find a way to get them to do what you wanted. It wasn’t always easy and it sometimes took frustratingly long to get the animal’s response but with those animals you had something to work with. There was a brain working.

Not Sheep!

Sheep are entirely different. If sheep have a brain, they keep it hidden. They don’t act for their own benefit and they, for sure, wont act because you want them to. I remember one time when we wanted to move the sheep from a pasture into a pen by the barn. Our motives were pure because that’s where we put the feed. We opened the gate and herded the sheep toward the wide opening. Nothing threatening anywhere just the open gate and food. Some animals would go through that gate just because it was there. Some might smell the food. Others might go through the gate just because there were people hooping and hollering behind them. Sheep just balk. They balk at gates. They balk at new spaces. They balk at people whooping and hollering. They just balk for the sheer cussedness of balking.

We would drive them forward toward the gate and just when they reached it, they would veer away. We tried to surround them so they couldn’t turn. They stopped and starred at us. They just were not going through that gate. We kept trying until one sheep got careless and crossed into the pen and he was immediately rewarded when the rest of the sheep swept him into the corner. It was a victory of sorts because finally the sheep were where we wanted them but it hadn’t changed a thing. The sheep hadn’t learned a lesson and next time we wanted them to go through a gate it would be just the same. They wouldn’t remember that there was food in the pen and that the people hollering behind them were trying to help them. They would be just as stubborn. It was their nature.

Sheep will devour your soul.

So if you are a full fledged Cantankerous Old Coot or even a Coot wannabe, don’t mess with sheep. Quash all those impulses to help and let them go their own way. You will only waste your time and energy and really mess up your attitude. To top it off, it won’t matter one whit to the sheep. It will take superhuman effort on your part to get any response on the part of the sheep and nothing you can do will penetrate their brains. They are perfectly happy wherever they are and they don’t appreciate anybody trying to make them uncomfortable. Even if it is for their own good, they will never recognize it. As icing on the cake you will make them mad. They will never forgive you and go out of their ways to punish you for your efforts to help them. Don’t bother.

Steer clear of sheep.

The world is full of sheep. Strange as it may seem, that may be just what God planned but it’s way above my pay grade to decide that. What I do know is that a Cantankerous Old Coot needs to give sheep a wide berth. You may want to do them a good turn but there is nothing you can do to help them and much that they can do to pull you down to their level. If you want to be happy and successful and reach the very pinnacle of life as a Cantankerous Old Coot, never for get Coot’s Lesson 17- Don’t mess with Sheep!

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Up with Wolves

 Posted by at 06:02  Up With
Dec 262012
 
Wolves Eating with Dominance Display

Image by Douglas Brown via Flickr

Just a minute!

Justin keeps us level headed around the old Cantankerous Old Coots campfire. Sometimes when the old cantankerous spirit starts moving me it just carries me away like those rampaging mountain streams up the hill from the old homestead. Sometimes I just let the spirit take me on a wild detour. I go with the flow, get my mojo working and ride the rapids into a dead end. (That was every cliché I could remember but if I missed any, please leave a comment because in my book, you can never have enough cliches.) So, as Justin reminds me, I got carried away about sheep lately. It’s time to move on.

Sheep are a fact of life.

But that doesn’t mean you let them take charge.  Like so many other uncontrollables today, sheep are both a problem and an opportunity. While sheep may not contribute to the dialogue here at Cantankerous Old Coots or anyplace else for that matter, if we intend for COC to dominate the blogosphere, we can’t do it without the support of sheep. There are just too many of them.

It’s a known fact that the population today is 95% sheep- probably more. You can’t have a successful blog if you bash 95% of your potential audience. But I can be dense. I was missing that point, being all engaged with my sheep fixation. Justin, however, was on top of the situation. He was watching our course while I scuttled the ship. Fortified from his early morning kettle bell meditation and smelling of baby powder, he stepped in to put things right .

Justin sounds a wake up call.

“Get your mind back on track.” He signaled subtly. “Sheep are the bread and butter here at COC, stop beating them up and focus on wolves.”

I hate to admit Justin’s brilliance because there is always payback. He runs a tight ship. I may have to eat crow in the staff meetings and do menial tasks for the next month but it’s better than chasing sheep around the pasture.  The truth is obvious.  There is no future in sheep. They are either maddening or invisible. Neither is any fun even when  you get to pick which you prefer. Justin counsels to pick invisible and I am forced to agree. (We’d ask Bob but he’s still looking for clean underwear.) So the consensus here at COC is that from now on sheep will be invisible. We know they are out there. We know that they constitute at least 95% of our potential audience. We know that if they do read COC, they won’t comment or fill out our surveys. We also know that even the most stubborn sheep will read COC from time to time and we are OK with that. We just aren’t going to tailor our communications to sheep.

The future is wolves.

Wolves are the new media darlings whether in Yellowstone Park or in the blogosphere. Wolves are restoring the ecosystems wherever they are re-introduced. I don’t doubt that a few wolves introduced into the right environment can solve all the world’s problems. Global warming- add wolves and make it better. Not enough jobs. Introduce wolf packs into the workplace to thin down the overpopulation. So if wolves are the future, COC is going to the wolves too.  Are you coming along with us?  We are safer in a crowd.

 

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Sep 202012
 
The unsustainable geometric progression of a c...

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All of this talk about the sheep and the training of such is, well kind of disheartening.  It looks like the readers of Cantankerous Old Coots are willing to be led along and prodded once in a while.  So Ralph, Bob and I will just have to play the shepherd and *MAKE* you go in the directions we want you too.

The biggest problem I can see is that Cantankerousness should be voluntary and not forced upon you.  It is a choice and to do otherwise would create a dictatorship that would end badly in a few years with, quite possibly, a world war.  So here is my proposal.  Everyone go out and recruit 2 friends to come to the next meeting of the coots and decide for themselves.

When those 2 friends bring 2 more and so on we will either have a great selection of people to mine comments from, or we will have a pyramid scheme.  Note: there is no promise of money involved.  We get some decent traffic here on a daily basis, but I keep wondering how much of that is bots and search engines.

We need people here, real people with intelligence and the brains to make comments meaningful and worthwhile.  So, seriously, get 2 friends to read this site next week.  Ralph will have another great news day on Sunday and we will go from there.  Lets get some community going and lose the sheep mentality.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Wolves vs. The Sheep

 Posted by at 22:13  principles
Dec 052011
 

Man there has been a lot of talk about sheep on here lately.  Maybe I should talk about the wolves.  Maybe I should wax poetic about how we should all work on becoming wolves, kings of industry and the fittest survivors.

Then I would call BS.  Cantankerousness does not lend itself to pushing one way or the other.  We lean towards giving you the facts and letting you decide how to proceed.  We have nearly given up and let the sheep run wild.

We have given much information on being your own person and taking control much like a wolf would.  But the truth is, you have to decide for yourself.  I for one am going to stay somewhere in between.  I am going to stay cantankerous.  I am not going to follow like a sheep and I will only lead as long as it suits me.

What do you think?  does being a sheep suit you?  Or are you a wolf that is going to tear everything apart?  Or are you just here to learn Cantankerousness so that you can be your own person, er old Coot.

Tell us below, or we will just keep arguing in the comments.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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