CNS (Coot’s News Service) Roundup for January 23,2011

Blame the Weather

Blame it on the beautiful January weather here in Northern California.   Blame it on a lousy news cycle.   Blame it on the Astrological shuffle that transformed a mild mannered Virgo into a flaming Leo.  Pick whatever reason you prefer, this week the Coots News Service is doing a special, in-depth study of the latest fad in news reporting and political comment. We call it word of the week. And the word this week is the lovely, three syllable word vitriol.

Vitriol is a lovely word

What is lovely about the word vitriol is that while virtually nobody knows what it means, it has an evil sound. It is such a luscious mouthful for it’s mere three syllables. You can’t say it without sneering. Look at yourself in the mirror saying vitriol and try to imagine what your sweetie would think if that is how you look when you tell her you love her. She wouldn’t believe you for a second.

But what the f*** does it mean?

Moving along to the meaning, which is fairly innocuous. It comes from science. Oil of vitriol is just another word for sulfuric acid. It isn’t lovely stuff but it has its uses and when used as a descriptor, the dictionary says it means caustic. Caustic is no big deal.  We have caustic under our kitchen sinks and don’t think anything about it.   Lately though we surmise that vitriol when applied to human discourse is more like Stephen Spielberg’s version of a velociraptor; which is to say a mindless, lethal killer with no other reason to live than to destroy any creature in it’s vicinity- entirely and without mercy.

So what’s the big deal with vitriol?

Intelligent, educated citizens, like our country routinely produced up until the 60’s, were trained to deal with verbal barbs without being totally destroyed. Modern education with its focus on self-esteem and rejection of knowledge, rights and responsibility; its embrace of equal abilities and spurning of equal opportunities has produced a population of mindless sheep, easily scattered and confused but impossible to lead, except by fear.

You can’t insult the stupid!

You can’t insult Americans any more. The reasons are complex. First , they are incapable of understanding many words with more than one syllable – unless they defame the deity, glorify the scatological or associate your mother with some animal or other. Second they have such a limited vocabulary that one word or phrase is now forced to cover many circumstances. Third any imagery left in common discourse is so platitudinous that short of a visual reference, it is impossible to know what a statement might actually be intended to convey It is impossible to know what someone might be intending when they call you a motherf***r. It could as well be an endearment as a curse. For this reason, anything which is not understood is deemed to be an insult. When the only thing that you know is how to like yourself, insults are totally unacceptable. Because liking yourself is the North Star for existence, anyone who says anything negative about you is clearly crazy. So you give them the finger and move right along. And this explains the sorry state of discourse in modern day America.

So why not be caustic?  What difference can it make?

Since it is impossible to insult Americans, then what can it possibly mean to say that we shouldn’t use caustic (or vitriolic words) as every civilized form of communications is urging us to do. Any words which are not effusive praise then must be caustic and therefore avoided like the plague. The press just wants us to get along.  It doesn’t want the sheep that still buy newspapers to be upset.   I don’t accept that reasoning and you shouldn’t either.

But did you have a point?

So back to the point (you probably were wandering if I have lost my way – or my mind- by this time). This week CNS is focusing only on stories using the word vitriol. Substitute the word criticism for vitriol in these stories and what happens? It is all about protecting mindless self-esteem! Does this demonstrate how totally inane political discourse has become – or  I am missing something else?  What is your take on vitriol? Self-esteem?  erectile disfunction? For those of you seeking credit from COCU, just leave a comment and tell us which story best illustrates the mindless effort of the press to avoid any discussion of substance.  Extra credit for suck ups.,

And now to the news.

Political Vitriol: Did Politics Influence Tucson Tragedy

This reporter concludes that some folks think it did and some folks think it didn’t. Does the reporter have an idea in his head? Non on your life. That might be perceived as vitriolic.

Sheriff Dupnik Criticism Of Political Vitriol

Sheriff Dupnik is against vitriol.  As long as it isn’t his.

Arizona to President Barack Obama: Rise above the ‘vitriol’

This reporter has channeled an entire State and believes that it has a message for the President. Rise above the vitriol. Coots have no clue how the reporter does this and whether any other states might have a message for the President as well. Further study reveals that this message was received from the heads of the Republican and Democrat organizations in Arizona. This is even more baffling.

Politicians say they will stop vitriol in wake of Arizona shooting

New poll results suggest that Americans (at least 50% of them) think that harsh rhetoric and metaphorical references caused the Arizona shooting. This is obviously bullshit because considerably more than 50% of American’s have no idea what a metaphor actually is. They merely want to look intelligent when they talk to a poll taker. But even more ridiculous is the politicians falling all over themselves to look like Casper Milquetoast. We are through with vitriol. From now on only milk of magnesia. We will even sit together they say.  How many times has a politician actually done what he promised?  We won’t be holding our breath.

More on vitriol and violence [Updated]

The incredible shrinking LA Times goes on record (after revision) to say that it is really not nice to be forceful in your opinions and that we can all be better. Now lets just hold hands and sing cumbaya.

Tea Party Vitriol Could Come Back to Bite the GOP

This article argues that vitriol is merely bad judgment, demeaning language and lack of moral standards as displayed by the Tea Party activists. No conservative vitriol should go unpunished – not will it as we are now seeing. What about liberal vitriol. It apparently doesn’t exist.

That is all the vitriol that I can stand today.  If you want more, you are on your own. Maybe we will get some miserable weather and I will be back to my normal state by next week.