Jan 162011
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Welcome to the Coot’s News Service (CNS) for Sunday, January 18.  And for you extension students at Cantankerous Old Coots University Extension (COCUx), this is your second week.  You can receive credit for a course in News Sensitivity and a chance for fame and possibly fortune as a certified Coot.  Review the rules and then leave a comment telling us which news story was absolutely not essential this week.  If you are new and missed the introductory class last week you cans still get credit- just leave a comment there as well.  Now on to the news.

City puts a stop to homeless outreach

The city of Houston has stopped a couple from providing meals to between 60 and 120 homeless people each day.

Anyone serving food for public consumption, whether for the homeless or for sale, must have a permit, said Kathy Barton, a spokeswoman for the Health and Human Services Department. To get that permit, the food must be prepared in a certified kitchen with a certified food manager.

The couple has received donated food and voluteers to prepare meals for the homeless for nearly a year now but the permit will stop them cold. Officials say that the homeless must be protected from unhealthy food even more than people with homes. Clearly the Houston City Fathers would rather have their homeless eating garbage. Mindless bureaucrats- the key to effective government.

RI Gov. Chafee: Stop paying for vitriolic commentary

Arizona is not the only state with a vitriol problem. It seems that little Rhode Island wants to try a new approach since guns didn’t seem to work.  Now the Governor of Rhode Island thinks the best way to make vitriol manageable is to turn off the radio – or at least radio with talk- presumably he would still permit music but now some bureaucrat will have to decide whether rap is music or talk. It sure isn’t music to me.  Coots are confused why the concern about vitriol.  Since we started taking it our bowels have moved like clockwork.

Scientists create GM ‘superchicken’ that doesn’t spread bird flu

This Coot is afraid that the English language is in serious danger when all it takes to be super is to drop dead without passing on the disease. Somehow we have a different idea about superchicken.  Oh well.  Still, this is a positive development. All we need to do is replace all the non-super chickens with super chickens and we are all safe. Isn’t science wonderful?

MCS Board working to deal with pregnancies at Frayser High School

Memphis school officials are desperate to slow the epidemic of pregnancies (90 at last count) at Frayser High School. Officials are quick to say that very few of these pregnancies actually were started at the high school but still, they feel that it is a community problem and like the rest of the government, the schools are there to help. In the old days there was an effective program fr dealing with high school pregnancies. It was called shame which has apparently been rejected by modern day America. (Is anybody ashamed of anything these days?) In my day, girls who were stupid enough to get pregnant disappeared for a few months before returning to school. Miraculously there were always babies available for adoption- unlike today when we have to import them from third world countries) And there weren’t very many of them despite obortion beeing illegal and contraception primitive. Those girls were known to the community as sluts which used to be a pejorative instead of affirmative appellation. I suggest that the school adopt a new mascot. Frayser High School – the home of the sluts. It has a nice ring to it.

Woman fights bank fees, missed final house payment

No wonder we all love banks. Miss your last house payment and pay outrageous fees or get foreclosed. Wouldn’t life be wonderful if we could manage without either banks or lawyers? Yeah I know I’m dreaming.

Russia nears arms pact approval, warns on pullout

Apparently the new democratic Russia is not much different from the old democratic Soviet Union. If they don’t like how you play the game, they will take their marbles and go home. In this case, the newly approved (by the Lame Duck Congress) Start Treaty which will severely limit US nuclear armaments is only good so long as Russia feels good about the west. So tell me again, why we bother making treaties with the Russians?

Rescuers struggle as Brazil flood deaths rise

As the floods still rage in Australia, Brazil struggles with floods of its own. Conveniently, the destruction of substandard buildings in the area will help the government as it prepares for the coming World Cup and Olympics.

Forget Cellphones; Casinos Say Poker Is Answer to State’s Budget Woes

Desperate to find new revenues, California is considering a new solution poker. Yes, it is that simple. People are just desperate to play poker in California Casinos.  All that California needs to do to become solvent is to permit poker in California casinos. How about double or nothing on your income tax?

Red sky at night… Sicily looks on as Mount Etna erupts in spectacular fashion

Now for some good news!  Mother Nature is a wonderful woman. Hot and full of surprises. Check out the videos.

Lincoln Bus Fracas Caught On Camera

Forget Global Warming. Civilization will be dead long before we suffer any damages. Single mothers will destroy life as we know it, one bus at a time. The video is better than TV.

That’s all the news this Coot can take for this week.  The rest is up to you.  Don’t forget to leave a comment and get class credit.

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Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  2 Responses to “Coot’s News Service and COCU Extension-January 16, 2011”

  1. I really didn’t need to know about ‘superchicken’. Now I fear that the next time I visit them Golden Arches and ask for ‘superchicken’ McNuggets, they think I’m out of touch and ‘super-size’ me instead.

  2. Hansi,
    Just sing the superchicken theme.

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