Dec 232014
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I don’t know about you but I’m fed up with Search Engine Optimization, Page Rank and kowtowing to the great god Google. What do they want from me? What do they want from the world and can anything stop them?

Google says their mission is ‘to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.’ Did you ever hear anything more like big brother in your life? Even Obama hasn’t suggested doing this as he eliminates the private sector economy. And these clever people at Google have figured out how to make us pay for it without thinking unlike those clumsy and ineffective taxes the government uses to get our money.

But back to the SEO. Have you read the helpful instructions you can find everywhere on the web about how to make Google happy?  Even if you read them, do you have a clue about what Google really wants? You hear all the time that if you create high quality content, the web is a piece of cake but when you begin to study SEO you learn that it is bull crap because Google can’t read and wouldn’t know good writing from from the typing of 10,000 monkeys. If you write good copy but fail to appease the god Google, nobody will ever find you, read you and appreciate your effort. Why bother?

To make Google happy, don’t waste your time refining your prose because writing is old fashioned and irrelevant. Nobody cares because thanks to Google, nobody will know that it even exists. If you want to be successful you have to pack your collection of words (why even call it writing?) with a  word or phrase that somebody might search for. Salt enough of those keywords throughout your word aggregation and Google will send you readers. No muss, no fuss and best of all, no tedious writing effort. Anything will do.

Google has spawned a whole new industry of products and services to help witless people with more money than they can spend to propagate their word aggregations around the web to provide ‘credibility’ (in the form of back links) to your aggregations. Put those mutated word aggregations in enough places and rearrange their words in enough ways and Google will reward you with a higher page rank. Just like the annoying TV ads that finally get etched into your brain and make you mindlessly grab the products when you shop, if you saturate the web with your word aggregations, you overwhelm the competition and achieve value to Google.  After all nothing else matters any more.  And all it took was a few hundred dollars and some software.

So today I say to Google, ‘Do no harm’. If Google can’t read and won’t even try to learn, then stop pretending that Google knows how to find value and content. Call a spade a spade. Google isn’t about writing or content – unless you value keywords. I can’t get too excited about them but then, I’m a Coot. They are probably all that Tweet- addled Gens X and Y can handle. Google doesn’t care a rat’s ass for writing. What Google loves is picture frames for keywords.


Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  4 Responses to “Down with Google”

  1. I guess Google has got you all cowed.

  2. Hi Ralph, I totally admit it, the search algorithm of Google (especially in the post-panda times) only focuses on keywords and backlinks, the relevant content play only a secondary role in search engine Rank Pages. I often feel disappointed when I see blogs and sites with an incredible high page rank with a trashy content but a lot of bling (and I guess a lot of SEO work in the background) But I still believe in the content-is-king theory so I keep blogging about my hobbies and interests and try to reach my audience with the value of my posts. I usually take the time to create my own visual content, I post my own photos and stop-motion videos uploaded on Youtube and Vimeo and try to post new content as often as I can. At least, I don’t do blogging for a living – it’s all about passion and sharing of my works as a digital 3D artist and designer.

    • Peter,
      I agree that what is important is the commitment and energy of the blogger. Original content is fine but intelligent presentation is more important. I don’t know how Google can ever discover that with it’s spiders. Still, it’s the world we live in. Somehow I still hope that human beings are finally what matters most.

  3. Just like the annoying TV ads that finally get etched into your brain.

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