Feb 232015
 
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Hello again folks.  I was thinking for today about how this blog gets traffic.  I see the stats in 3 different stat counters every day and they are all different.  Different, but similar enough in trends to be useful.

Now you may have clicked into this post just to see what sage wisdom I have to offer when it comes to getting traffic to your blog.  I have a short answer: Beats me.  Now before you click off (literally, if you don’t like something on this blog just CLICK OFF!)  at least read the rest of what I have to say.

Some people look into a business degree online when
they want to learn more about marketing to get the desired effects of blog traffic.

The trafffic here on the Coots is fairly constant.  We get between 80 and 100 or so visitors per day.  Sometimes there are more.  Like Yesterday, with Ralphs post.  There were 131 visitors at 1140 mountain time when I checked.  Why so popular?  I dunno, I can only hope people are linking to older posts, as I can see Ralph’s Current post has only garnered 10 visitors.  Of course that was last week.  This week has been no different though.

It doesn’t seem to matter too much how we promote each post.  Twitter, linked In, Facebook, Digg, we advertise on each of these plus stumble upon and traffic is the same.  People come to read about Cantankerousness and to have a good time.  I would like to see more.  So what do we do?  I could ask each person who reads this post to tweet it to 10 others and ask them to do the same, but I am almost positive that somewhere that is illegal.

If not illegal then too much like a pyramid scheme.  So don’t do that.  If you have any ideas, please let me know!  I would like to hear how you each get traffic, besides the “go out and comment” answer.  This post will be linked on Twitter and all of the other sites, so we have that.  Just, how do you each get traffic?  And, do you have any blockbuster ideas for a cantankerous post that will go viral and make us all famous?

I can’t wait to hear from you all!

PS. go back and check out Ralph’s post from Wednesday.  We would like to have some more answers to our poll!

-Justin

  • Blog Traffic: 128191 Unique Visitors | Gvishnu.Com (gvishnu.com)
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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Feb 232015
 
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Yesterday on Twitter I sent out an advertisement for this blog.  I said, “Cantankerify Yourself.”  I am now making up words ala our last president, George W. Bush.  But, just because it is not in the dictionary now, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be there.

Definition in the Coots dictionary:  Cantakerify: V.  1. The act of becoming Cantankerous.  2. V. To educate yourself on the finer points of becoming Cantankerous.  3. V. To be transformed from mild mannered sheep to a Cantankerous Old Coot.  4. To hell with it it means what it means.  If you can’t figure it out Einstein, go somewhere else.

Part of becoming a coot is being able to make stuff up and have the younger generation nod their little sheep heads and agree with your words of wisdom, just because you are older.  I am reminded of Jeff Foxworthy and his bit about his dad being older and yelling at the dog to “gitonouttahere”.  Sounds like a word.  Who is going to argue with the old guy?  He may give you the business end of his walker.

So I am making up words that will become part of the Cantankerous Old Coot subculture.  Some will call it slang, some will embrace it fully.  Some Cantankerous buggers may just ridicule me and beg for the business end of my walker.  Or cane.  Or Baseball Bat…..

This is the site of the Coots.  We exist to rail against the wrongs that society has launched upon us.  We will educate.  We will entertain.  We will Cantankerify.

Are there any words that you feel belong on here?  Let us know in the comments.  I think I may have a dictionary page.  I think I will give a free month subscription to the site to whoever sends in the best word.  You can sign up for our mailing list too and keep up with the Coots.  We won’t bombard you with crap that you don’t want, that is a rant in itself.   The Cantankerous Old Coots are coming and we can’t be stopped!

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Dec 232014
 
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I don’t know about you but I’m fed up with Search Engine Optimization, Page Rank and kowtowing to the great god Google. What do they want from me? What do they want from the world and can anything stop them?

Google says their mission is ‘to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.’ Did you ever hear anything more like big brother in your life? Even Obama hasn’t suggested doing this as he eliminates the private sector economy. And these clever people at Google have figured out how to make us pay for it without thinking unlike those clumsy and ineffective taxes the government uses to get our money.

But back to the SEO. Have you read the helpful instructions you can find everywhere on the web about how to make Google happy?  Even if you read them, do you have a clue about what Google really wants? You hear all the time that if you create high quality content, the web is a piece of cake but when you begin to study SEO you learn that it is bull crap because Google can’t read and wouldn’t know good writing from from the typing of 10,000 monkeys. If you write good copy but fail to appease the god Google, nobody will ever find you, read you and appreciate your effort. Why bother?

To make Google happy, don’t waste your time refining your prose because writing is old fashioned and irrelevant. Nobody cares because thanks to Google, nobody will know that it even exists. If you want to be successful you have to pack your collection of words (why even call it writing?) with a  word or phrase that somebody might search for. Salt enough of those keywords throughout your word aggregation and Google will send you readers. No muss, no fuss and best of all, no tedious writing effort. Anything will do.

Google has spawned a whole new industry of products and services to help witless people with more money than they can spend to propagate their word aggregations around the web to provide ‘credibility’ (in the form of back links) to your aggregations. Put those mutated word aggregations in enough places and rearrange their words in enough ways and Google will reward you with a higher page rank. Just like the annoying TV ads that finally get etched into your brain and make you mindlessly grab the products when you shop, if you saturate the web with your word aggregations, you overwhelm the competition and achieve value to Google.  After all nothing else matters any more.  And all it took was a few hundred dollars and some software.

So today I say to Google, ‘Do no harm’. If Google can’t read and won’t even try to learn, then stop pretending that Google knows how to find value and content. Call a spade a spade. Google isn’t about writing or content – unless you value keywords. I can’t get too excited about them but then, I’m a Coot. They are probably all that Tweet- addled Gens X and Y can handle. Google doesn’t care a rat’s ass for writing. What Google loves is picture frames for keywords.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 292014
 
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*** since this post was first published there have been 233270 visitors to it.  There have been a total of ZERO submissions.  c’mon people get on the ball…send us your face!***

Now hear this Current and aspiring Coots!  Very shortly we are going to be putting out our first product.  I know that is exciting enough to make you all pee yourselves with excitement.  You may want to get a doctor to look at that though.  Don’t worry in any case because that’s why they make Depends.

So far we haven’t got a lot of participation  here at COC.  So since you refuse to respond to the sticks we throw, we are going to break out the carrots just this once.  We want your face!  And we are offering a prize for the best face.  There!  That is as nice as we get.

What does your best Cantankerous Coot face look like?

By now you should have mastered the basics for Cantankerosity or maybe you were a natural and had what it takes all along.  It doesn’t matter because we want to see the results.  Show us your best Coot face.  Take a picture and if it doesn’t break the camera send it to us.  We want to see the Cantankerosity that we have inspired.  We want to use your faces in out upcoming E-Book and at the blog. You could be famous.

So scrunch up your face and practice your cantankerousness.  Little children should either laugh or weep at the face you finish with.  Preferably both.  Then take the best picture you can and send it to us.  This contest will end at midnight on July 10th MDT when we get enough submissions to actually have a contest.  Right now, there is all the time in the world You have until next Saturday night to get us a picture.

There will be a prize for the best picture.  That prize will remain a mystery until the contest ends.

Send entries to    contests@cantankerousoldcoots.com Please include your name, address, credit card numbers, pin numbers, measurements,….errrr….Just your name and the picture will be fine.

Now for some fine print.  Any image submitted must be your own image.  We don’t want copyrighted images from other websites that will get us in trouble with the copyright lawyers when we start to sell our own stuff.  Besides we want to see you, our readers.

Second, by submitting an image for the contest you agree that we can do what we want with it.  This includes the website, CantankerousOldCoots.com, and any e-book or print book that we may publish in the future.  Your only compensation for the picture will be a credit to you and probably a link to your own site.

Third, By submitting a picture, you agree that, to the best of your knowledge, this picture does not have any previous copyrights that are being infringed.  If you take the pic yourself, it shouldn’t have any copyright issues at all.

Fourth, unless you tell me not to add you to the list, by submitting a picture you will be automatically added to our email list and be among the first to receive the new e-book when it comes out, and if you are the winner, it will have your picture on it.  You will not be getting a double opt-in confirmation email from us, but unless it says somewhere in your picture email that you don’t want to be on the list, you will be, and this constitutes permission to do so.

Sorry for all of the legal mumbo jumbo but I really can’t afford to get sued by anyone for a silly website contest.

So go out right now and take a picture, preferably in focus, and send it to

contests@cantankerousoldcoots.com

Remember, you have until the sands run out on July 10th to submit!  I hope we can get 1000 entries.  Tell your friends too!

Please retweet, digg, stumble upon, comment, carrier pigeon, morse code or otherwise let people know about this contest!

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Jul 072014
 
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Do you ever have this post written in your head and even mostly edited, it just takes too much time to get it written?  Yea.  Turns out there is not a plugin to allow people access to your wonderfully crafted posts in your head.  You still must write them out!

So this week has been interesting for Coots subject matter.  Bob’s wonderfully snarky post about bin Laden, Ralph’s lament over old movie theaters, well, today, I wan’t to talk about a very special birthday.  And then you go and do some more research and find that there is a “(the quotes are important here, think air quotes to get the sarcasm implied)”WEBSITE” that has a different date than the other 47 sites that you look at.  Imagine that, something on the internet is wrong.

So I searched for something else that happened on this day in history and came up with the first H bomb test or a patent for wireless radio broadcasting.  I don’t really feel like writing about nuclear warheads so I am going to go with wireless broadcasting.

Back in 1908 Nathan B. Stubblefield created a primitive cell phone type device that transmitted via electromagnetic induction.  Didn’t work very well and would never be real “radio” broadcasting like Marconi came up with, but it was something to send information over space without wires.  Think of what we do now without wires.  I am writing this post on my laptop that is connected to the internet over a wireless network.  If I wan’t to print, the printer is in the basement hooked to my other computer, but I can connect.

I have wireless headphones, wireless phones, wireless keyboards and mice, heck even my new MP3 player can connect to the internet wirelessly.  Think how much easier losing wires has made our lives.  How many electronic things actually have to be connected anymore?

Now I am not saying Nathan Stubblefield is the cause of this wireless revolution, because his inventions are not actually radio waves.  For instance, his inventions could never reach the International Space Station, yet with other technology we can.  (just an aside, I think that the ISS is the freaking coolest thing that mankind has ever invented.  That is another post though.)  But Mr. Stubblefield was a thinker.  He saw potential in holding a device and talking with someone far away.

Even if his tech isn’t used today, the same thinking and desire to do the next biggest and greatest thing still pushes people.  The entrepreneurial spirit still makes people bust their humps to invent things that they can use on the ISS. (did I say that is the coolest thing ever?)

Now, my question to you all is, what have you invented?  By invented I mean written or created.  Will your idea spark millions of others?  Will it inspire people?  Will your name end up on a “this day in history” search because of your invention?  If not, get out there and create.  Quit following the pack and create your own spot in history.  Now if you will excuse me, my Stay at Home Dad site needs some work.

Thanks for reading.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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