Down with Birthdays

 Posted by at 17:01  Down with
Jun 022014
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birthday cake

This is Birthday Week at COC

This is turning into a heavy week here at COC and it is all because of birthdays. For some unknown reason both Justin and I have birthdays in the same week. Well I suppose that the reason is known but the synchronicity is a mystery. Who knew we were working with such a handicap.  Try to imaging two Virgo’s working together and you will get the picture.  Even though there is a small difference in our ages, we both have our cantankerous spirits to support the effort.  Justin admits to being a mere babe at 36 while I am a bit older.  I’ll just let the readers guess at my age.  I will even give you a clue.  I am not a boomer.

To party hearty – or not?

My birthday was Monday and it is all over now. No party. No cake. No presents. I did get two cards, one from my insurance agent and the other from my wife’ s broker. I think that tells everything you need to know about me.  Justin celebrates his on Friday and I am sure that it will be party central at his house so I am not expecting much out of him here at COC until next week.  He does love attention, however, so be sure to drop by his home base, ring his kettle bell, leave a comment and wish him well. At 36, he probably hasn’t yet realized that each year past 21 represents a decline in something although it is hard to notice what those somethings are until 40 or so – at least that’s they way I remember it. Besides thinking about your decline never makes you feel better.

Birthdays are for kids.

Each one is a happy event because it marks a progression toward the ideal of adulthood and control of your life. At least that is the fantasy that kids have about being a grown-up. Let them live in their fantasy world.  The truth will hit them soon enough.   A birthday is a day of recognition with a present or two and some very unhealthy food. No matter because youngsters can eat anything without worrying about health. All in all birthdays are pleasant events for kids.

But not for adults

After you reach drinking age, there is nothing much good to say about birthdays. Being one year older doesn’t help you one little bit. By the time you get to be my age, the last thing you want is another birthday. (Well let me qualify that a bit – continuing to live through another year is always good but recognizing that year is not.) I’m happy enough to be alive and kicking but there is no reason for anyone to know that that I’m even older than I was last year.

That’s my take on birthdays.

Don’t give me a party. Don’t buy me a present. Don’t rub it in that I have survived another year and look pretty good for my age. If you feel the compulsion to celebrate somebody’s birthday, focus on baby faced Justin. He is young enough to still be in denial about his imminent decline but with four kids, it won’t be long.


Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  13 Responses to “Down with Birthdays”

  1. Ralph, you are SO right about birthdays! My sisters and most of my friends have given them up. I have the big 6-0 this year and, although no other birthday has ever bothered me, 60 does sound a little old to me.

    Of course it’s all relative. My mom turned 80 three years ago and she said no birthday ever bothered her til 80. “It sounds so OLD,” she said.

    Birthdays are for kids but I have to tell you, we have 5 grandchildren under age 7 and attending the ever more extravagant, noisy little kid parties is getting to be a trial! As grandparents, our name would be mud if we didn’t attend but I’m thinking of staging a revolt.

  2. Joan,
    Speaking as a Cantankerous Old Coot, I heartily recommend revolts. Don’t be the ordinary wimpy grandparent who sits uncomfortably around the edge of those kid birthday parties. Make your own birthday event just for you and the kid. Something they will remember you for and how special you are.

  3. Great idea!

  4. I knew you were a Virgo!

    Birthdays are a strange thing really; I’m at the point of not really caring much, but then being sad when no one else really cares either. I’m allowed though, only just turned 20 😉

    Reminds me, I need to go gift hunting for my partner by the 20th…

  5. Seeing as I died two years ago I don’t have to worry about them anymore. I either don’t still have them, or at worst I’m 2!


  6. I am not planning on something big for my birthday. I am done caring about it. I told everyone I jsut want to go fishing and have 5 minutes of bathroom time without a kid screaming at me.

  7. Justin,
    Forget all that oh shucks stuff. Everybody knows you are just dying for the attention and a big cake. Just go with it and indulge yourself.

  8. Heather,
    What was the clue? Is your blog back in action?

  9. Bob,
    For a dead guy you do fuss a lot.

  10. Well you see Ralph, that would be telling. Hard to hide from another Virgo though =)

    As for my blog, it should be running again sometime next week; having some internet trouble at the moment which will hopefully be sorted this weekend. I’ll come say hi once its done as well though.

  11. Happy Birthday to you too!

  12. Thank you Marcy. Now I can forget about birthdays for a whole nother year.

  13. Well, We survived another year but now that the planets have shifted, under the new order, I’m a LEO. It’s been hard after believing that I was a virgo for so long.,0,6350909.story
    But at least I’m not in it alone, Justin has the same problem even though he is on the cusp.

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