Down with Earth Day

 Posted by at 17:02  Down with
Jun 022014
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For 40 years we have listened to the messages of Earth Day. We have been harangued, nagged, lectured and even forced by nanny state legislation to be kind to our planet. We are told that our long-suffering planet just can’t take any more of human exploitation and manipulation. Its resources are depleted. Its resilience overwhelmed. Its climate is being changed. And it is all the fault of the greedy and self-serving human race.

Prophets of doom tell us that we are down to the wire. Our poor planet can’t take much more of humanity. We need to change our ways. Stop using our wasteful technology. Live simple lives. Grow our own healthy food. Power our vehicles with our own muscles. Stop traveling the world. They tell us that only by stepping back from our extravagant lifestyles and ever more aggressive technologies can we save our ravaged planet from disaster.

I’m not buying it any more. I’ve been nice. My car gets 26 mpg. I set my thermostat high in the summer and low in the winter and take the wrath of my long suffering wife in return. I separate the trash and keep track of which trash can to put out each week so that everything can be recycled. I am doing my part. What I don’t see is any reciprocation on the part of our planet. What’s up with that?

Just last week, our benevolent planet decided to shower the continent of Europe with dust from a huge volcanic eruption. The whole continent shut down air travel because the dust destroys the jet engines. That is just the start. This year has seen a series of tragic earthquakes devastating Haiti, Chile and China so far. I can’t wait until hurricane season. I know she has something good for us.

I’ve done my part to help the poor old mother earth. Others have done even more and what good has it done. Has our planet shown any appreciation for all our work? Not a bit. If anything, she is treating us worse than usual. I think it is time to stop all this silliness. If the planet is not going to appreciate all the effort we make to help her. If she insists on sending all these disasters to make our lives miserable then I say its is time to stop all this sucking up. Let’s give the unappreciative old girl a taste of her own medicine.

Tell the Earth Day acolytes to go stick it. No more recycling. No more conservation. Drill baby drill. Mine, baby mine. Let that technology go where no man has gone before. Let’s hit mother Earth where she lives and see how she likes it. Maybe a little tough love will teach her to mend her evil ways and treat us humans with a little consideration. We have certainly learned that treating her nice doesn’t work.


Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  3 Responses to “Down with Earth Day”

  1. Ralph, that’s a funny post. I follow a lot of Justin’s stuff but I hadn’t made my way over here yet. If I had the earth’s good favor (due to all my amazing personal stewardship of her) I would ask for some tropical goodness to head my way. It’s been raining way too much. I enjoy the sarcasm and the point of view. Very cantankerous!…drew 🙂

    • Hey Drew, you can always be cantankerous over here if you write something that doesn’t fit your blog. shoot us an email!

  2. Nice to know you enjoyed the post. Stop back anytime. We don’t bite.

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