Mar 072013
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Sometimes corporations are their own worst enemies

English: Four ounces of low-grade marijuana, u...

You know, sometimes corporations just ASK for abuse

Anybody who reads very much of my stuff knows that I am a laissez-faire capitalist. I like capitalism. I support capitalism. I am a capitalist.

With that said sometimes capitalist… Corporations… Do some really stupid things and ask for the abuse they get. I’m talking about big corporations in general, but today I’m specifically talking about FedEx, Federal Express, and what some of their stupid people can do.

I read a news story in the Washington Post, and the headline pretty much tells the whole story. “Massachusetts woman sues FedEx over errorness marijuana delivery; says dealers looked for package”.

Now, when you read that headline, the first thing that you ask yourself is, “how in the hell did the dealers find out who had their package?”, And the second question is, “Did she enjoy smoking it?”.

Well, apparently the lady was not 420 friendly. As soon as she opened the package she called the police and told them to come get the marijuana… All 7 pounds of it. (Of course, the package may have originally contained 8 pounds)

The question of how the drug dealers that were supposed to have received the package would know where to go get it so they could come to her house? That question can be answered with four words. Federal Express told them.

Now this is just plain sorry mess on the part of Federal Express, and that sorry this is probably going to get them sued, big time. And you know what? Despite the fact that I’m a capitalist, despite the fact that I have no problem with corporations, I hope it costs FedEx millions of dollars for their stupidity. The only bad thing about that lawsuit will be that their liability insurance company has to pay on instead of FedEx having to reach in their own damn pocket.

FedEx won’t look at it as a loss that could have been prevented had their employees been thinking. No, FedEx will look at it simply as a cost of doing business. transfer click transfer

Now I’m not saying that FedEx should have known that the package contained marijuana, and I’m not saying that FedEx should have known that the people they were sending to that lady’s house were drug dealers. I’m not even suggesting that FedEx should have known that drug dealers can be dangerous people when you screw with their shit.

I’m not even saying that FedEx was stupid in this delivering the package to begin with, after all people do make mistakes and that’s understandable.

No, the “stupid” part comes in with everything they did after the misdelivery.

FedEx should have apologized to the intended recipients when they asked about their package, and told them they would track it down and make the correct delivery after retrieving the package. “Retrieving the package” here is key to FedEx’s stupidity. Rather than send the intended recipients (drug dealers) to the lady’s house to pick up their misdelivered package, FedEx should have contacted the lady and asked if she had received a wrong package and told the lady they would pick it up.

Had FedEx done their job and attempted to correct their own mistake, instead of leaving it to the customers to do it for them, there would have been only two possible outcomes, and both of them would have been good for the lady that mistakenly received the marijuana.

Outcome number one: (this outcome assumes the lady had not opened the package and called police as she did) FedEx would have picked up the misdirected package, re-delivered it correctly to the person it was addressed to, the drug dealers (the correct recipients) would have never known the name or address of the person that it was misdelivered to to start with, and lots of 420 friendly people in the Massachussets would have been much more relaxed.

(I kind of like this outcome, by the way)

Outcome number two: (this outcome assumes the lady had opened the package and called the police, which she did) FedEx would have called her to arrange to pick up the misdirected package, she would have told FedEx that the package was 7 pounds of marijuana and that she had called the police about it, FedEx would have been called the police department, and the situation would have been handled without the drug dealers knowing where all the package had traveled before it arrived at the police department, i.e. the ladies address.

I personally think the war on drugs is stupid and useless, and don’t much like the second outcome, but at least the lady would not have had drug dealers breathing down her neck.


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Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at and rants about politics at Most of the time, though, you'll find him at, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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  One Response to “Federal Express knows how to spell stupid…F-e-d-E-x”

  1. I’m impressed with this post. You actually had to sit down and type the words. I didn’t think you had it in you. In spire of your monumental effort, however, I’m still confused. Were the drug dealers just using Fed Ex to deliver their contraband to real drug dealers? Or were they sending it to an address where they expected to intercept it before the resident got it? I read a mystery story recently about drug dealers getting deliveries at addresses they identify as vacant during the day time. In that case, they would know the name of the lady anyway.
    I can’t imagine that the drug dealers would have any animus toward the lady unless they were stupid enough to send the weed from a legitimate address.
    If Fed Ex delivered the weed to the wrong address then shame on them.

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