Apr 142014
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Unbelievable as it seems, not everyone is cut out for cantankerosity. Conformity is seductive at any stage of life. The risks of taking the road less traveled and leaving the herd behind can seem too overwhelming. The temptation to settle for boring conformity always beckons at the first sign of trouble. Only the willful and pigheaded will persevere and move forward.

Walter Mitty

Relase your inner Walter Mitty

If you are in that majority, you have two choices. You can rationalize or you can surrender. The Cantankerous Old Coots accept you either way. We don’t criticize. We don’t blame. We don’t demean. We merely observe. Going along makes the world go round. It keeps the trains running on time. It pays the bills. We understand. That is why we created Lessons for Sanctimonious Old Sheep.  Go ahead and Embrace the Conformity.

If you are a committed go-alonger then the Cantankerous Old Coots say ‘More power to you’ and :Good Luck’ because you probably won’t be happy spending much time here. If, however, within you there is just a glimmer of cantankerous wannabeism, we say ‘Stick around’. Let you inner Walter Mitty indulge fantasies of cantankerosity while you live a life of deadly conformity. Let your fantasies run wild. Imagine yourself in cantankerous full form from time to time. Who knows? One day it might just break loose. Indulge those fantasies by reading the Cantankerous Old Coots Lessons.

 Posted by at 11:13
Apr 022014
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Originally posted 2010-08-20 07:06:55. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

I witnessed a phenomenon in Wal-Mart tonight.  Maybe it was just Wal-Mart but there was a lady (term loosely used entirely based on gender and not the language) who was walking with a cart full of kids down the main aisle.  A guy with a couple of kids himself came out from a crossing aisle in front of her.  He said “Oh Sorry” as he got out of her way.  She replied with a few explicatives and “Fine just run over me!”

Now, you may be wondering what cantankerous lesson this could yield.  Well it is not the attitude of the woman, entirely.  She was what Ralph has referred to as an Angry Old Fart in this post. Now, what the man did was not cantankerous.  It was not even, well, very manly.

He meekly said, “I didn’t.” to the womans back as she was stalking away.  Now, the cantankerousness is available.  It should be used.  This situation left the woman, who was in the wrong (not by being a woman but by being a pain in the ass) with a feeling of superiority and self satisfaction.

I felt sorry for the guy and if I would have had a coots business card I would have given him the first 5 lessons at Coots University for free(it’s called foreshadowing kids, look it up), just to help this poor guy get his balls back from his wifes purse and be a man damnit!

I believe the correct response should have been something along the lines of, “You didn’t mind it last night!” or “Watch where you’re driving that stupid shopping cart you cow!”  Or even just “Same to you!” followed by a rude gesture or explosion of flatulence.

We are getting way too pacified people!  We let those few who think they are in charge brow beat the rest of us into giving in.  We let the medical community push us around under pretenses of patient confidentiality when it is all just a sham.  Why should people get away with being rude in any store when someone apologizes.

Sure, if you shop at all, there will be a moment when you step in front of someone or cut someone off or even walk out of an aisle too fast and nearly hit someone.  A polite “excuse me” or “sorry” should be sufficient to not make a federal case out of it.  Of course, there are those who want to push.

To them you can only respond with a “Same to you!” or “The sun seems to be going down would you mind bending over seeings as how the light shines from your ass?”

Take a stand.  Be a real person and not one of the faceless automatons who gives in to people who are louder or are seemingly more forceful.  Don’t just do what the nancy boys over in legal tell you you must do.  A coot says what he or she thinks.  A coot sticks to that.  Like we have said before, a true Coot will give the deserving party the Mapquest directions straight to Hell without passing go.

Quit being a ninny.

Watch for a huge, large, big, fantastic, stupendous, unprecedented announcement concerning this  site.  Stay tuned for more.


Apr 022014
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Originally posted 2011-01-28 06:08:53. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Groundhog Day 2005 in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania
Image via Wikipedia

I hope everyone had a good break from the regular cantankerosity and enjoyed Heathers work.  She has some good rants on things us other Coots don’t think about.

Is anyone else out there getting tired of winter?  I know it has been very erratic around much of the US and still continues to be…strange weather to say the least.  Next Wednesday the weather prognosticator of all prognosticators will make his debut and tell us all whether we can look forward to 6 more weeks of winter or not.
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Apr 022014
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Originally posted 2010-12-13 12:14:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Salt Lake City at dusk
Image via Wikipedia

Sorry to use the crudity of text slang but this is a PG rated blog.  Today I found a story on one of our local news sites here in Salt Lake that justhas me shaking my head.  Apparently there is nothing, I repeat absolutely nothing that is happening in Utah so they get to report this.  You can read the text here but I will tell you the gist of it.

Apparently it is big news when the State Attorney General has cancer.  It is in extremely bad taste to announce that fact in freaking YOU TUBE video that was released by the State of Utah’s Attorney Generals office! And as if that isn’t bad enough, the news gets invited to report on the fact that said Attorney General had surgery to remove part of his colon.  I was scared to even look for a video of that, it is probably out there.

The end of the story not only gives his location but hints at his further treatments.  Come on already, let the guy have SOME modicum of privacy.  As a matter fact I don’t know why I am writing about it….I am just genuinely shocked that this was an actual news story.  Yet another reason to NOT get into politics or public office.

What do you guys think? I want opinions on this one.  I also want some questions to be asked at askacoot@cantankerousoldcoots.com!  Saturday is not that far away!

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Apr 022014
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Originally posted 2011-08-05 06:39:32. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

North America at night - Satellite image - Pla...

Image by PlanetObserver via Flickr

What the???? It is already Friday?  Wow where did the week go.  Now, I know the title of this post is going to make people think I am jumping on Bob’s political bandwagon and talking about Political parties but I am not that sophisticated.  The parties I speak of are actual parties, with people invading your house and spilling punch on the rug, kids who drop cake on the floor and that rogue ice cream cone you find the next day on your nice table and are just thankful that it is on the marble part and not the wood part.

Yes, parties can suck.  They sound like a good idea but they are entirely too much work for me.  Plus there are people coming over and judging you to the enth degree and looking down on your decisions and…well that is just my parents.  If you haven’t guessed by now, we are going to have a party on Saturday.  I am not looking forward to it.

Party may be a stretch to say, but a reception with cake and punch ends up being the same thing.  And family will be there.  Some of which we haven’t had any contact with for months.  Some who should have at least called during the turmoil of the past couple of months.  But enough about my Father.  It will be interesting to say the least.

See, my son is getting baptized into our church on Saturday and this is one thing that I don’t think Grandpa will miss.  Birthday’s and major catastrophe’s are not important enough but this just may be.  We will have to see.  I may have another great post for next week all about it.  Monday may be interesting around here.

On a side note to that, Bob has found that his video posts are very time consuming and he has way too much life to live over the weekend to not stay up all Sunday night getting a post ready.  He will be moving his videos to Tuesday.  I think I have finally figured out what to do with my podcasts as well.  I now have a garage and I am going to build me a little studio in there to go hide   record in.  I am going to shoot for next week on Thursday for a podcast!  Just audio though, I still am just lukewarm on video.

On another disjointed side note Pink Floyd is not bad for writing too.  Throw on “The Wall” and start a rant….not bad.  And I am not even on anything…..

So back to parties.  They sound like a good idea but I think I would rather go to a party than host one.  Leave my house alone and save your derision for someone else.  It is easy on the net to let things roll off of your back.  It is easy to dismiss any evil that is given to you via email or a comment.  It is another to sit in relative silence and deal with the eye rolls and nauseated yet sarcastic phrases that are spat out.

I have respect for my elders and I will always respect my Father for being my father.  I just don’t want to talk to him right now.  I am hoping that he doesn’t show up, but that is a horrible thing for him not to be to his Grandson’s big event.  I am afraid that there will be a shouting match and more people than should will end up in tears.

What a $#@&ed up situation.  In general, take your parties and count me out, I don’t need the stress.  I had better make sure my migraine pills are handy.

For all of you, have a good weekend, or go to hell.  I don’t know that I care right now.

See you next week.



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