Up with ‘Vim and Vigor’

 Posted by at 15:25  Up With
Sep 022014
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The whole idea of ‘vim and vigor’ used to amuse me. It seemed old fashioned, the kind of remark that my grandma would make. Of course that was back when I had it. Now that I’m older than my grandmother, it’s not so funny.

The dictionary says it means strength and enthusiasm, qualities which are becoming more elusive with each passing day. I never thought that ‘vim’ was an actual English word. I learn now that it is; derived from the Latin for strength. It doesn’t matter because, for me, ‘vim’ is a quality in short supply.

Not me!

Not me!

These days I find I’m spending half the day finding the ‘vim and vigor’ to get our of bed. I don’t feel old exactly- although I couldn’t tell what that might mean. I can find the energy to get up and at ‘em eventually and when I do I feel just as capable of taking on the day as ever. It’s just that the sense of urgency is gone. Getting up is driven more by a full bladder than eagerness to take on the day.

I have plans, hopes and dreams just like always. What is misssing these days is the urgency.  Even more I have the feeling that I’ll be much more energetic if I lie here just a few minutes more. Certainly the body is less willing these days. What troubles me more is the realization that so is my mind.

C’est la vie. Continue reading »

Jul 292014
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Originally posted 2011-04-01 06:34:22. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Hey Folks, Justin here.  I am coming to you live on what is one of the stupidest holidays in the entire world.  April Fools Day.  Informal though it may be, why do we still bother to “celebrate” something that most of the world doesn’t even truly know the origins of?  It seems there was a reference to it in Canterbury Tales back in 1392 that was badly translated and people were made to endure a full day of pranks and foolishness.

By the way kids, (notice I didn’t use that horrific BTW that has become so friggin’ popular.  That is a whole ‘nother rant) back in 527 AD Byzantine Emperor Justinian delcared that on April 2nd all Justin’s in the world should have homage paid and gifts of “gold, silver and precious things in great quantity.”  Check it out, that is tomorrow, I will just wait for all of the good things to roll in.

You see, that actually sound legit (almost) even though I made the whole thing up.  Much like April Fool’s Day.  My wife is currently preparing devious deceptions to taunt the kids with.  She loves it.  My kids love to play pranks and “get mom and dad”.  I don’t get it.  I have never really gotten it.  I don’t care to play pranks for the most part.  If I want to make someone look silly I can use words better than some silly prank.

So if you are into pranks, go for it.  Just know that there are some people out there who really don’t give the rear cavity of a rat about it.

On another note, Congrats again to Hansi for earning his degree from the Cantankerous Old Coots University.  he is now qualified to teach Cantankerosity and is an adjunct professor.  We will be featuring his first lesson next Tuesday, April 5.

And for the theme writing contest.  We have a clear winner this month with 4 votes to the 2 everything else got.  The topic that we will be writing on for the week of April 4th to April 8th is, (drumroll please) is, (no really, a drumroll here is appropriate) fine, with no drumroll the topic is Haiku.  We will just have to see what splendid and fascinating things that we can write about a simple Japanese Poem.

So that will be all today, go out and do something cantankerous.  Maybe just scream at someone who tries to pull a prank on you, or really fly off of the handle and make them cry.  That will be my goal, make a prankster cry.  Unfortunately, the only ones who will be around to pull pranks are the kids, and homework and chores make them cry anyway.  Good thing my new sink doesn’t have the separate sprayer anymore.

Thanks for reading, how are you going to get through today?


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Jul 292014
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Originally posted 2011-06-13 10:36:33. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Plunge dipping sheep

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Hello sheep.  Following up on Ralph’s post from last week, I have decided to not just rewrite the fabulous Coot’s lessons, but to start over on the road to uniformity, conformity, and the bland whiteness of looking at a world with the wool pulled over your eyes.  So to speak.

Today I would like to start off with a little bit of conformity.  If Ralph, Bob and I cannot be your guides to Cantankerousness, then we will have to be your shepherds.  And, just a warning, sometimes it takes the stick in order to get an unruly sheep to behave.  Ralph even sent me this picture of him teaching his sons the conformity lesson.

So conformity tells us that we should all be the same.  Everything should be nearly identical in our beige lives under the blue sky.  You.  Over there in the pink shirt.  Go put on the grey uniform.  You.  Over there with the uncombed hair.  Report for haircut and style.  You.  Over there thinking that this is a joke and not really serious.  Get over here and prepare to be beaten into line.

There will be no free thinking anymore.  Previously we have tried to put out lessons and articles that allowed you all to make up your own minds and look at the world freely and go your own way.  Not anymore.  You will go our way.  If you try to go your own way, we will bring you back and make fun of you on Twitter.  If you try to think something different than what we want you to know, we will come over to your house and show you what an electric cattle prod is for.

I hope Heather wants to think differently, because I would love to go to Scotland.  So for now, all of you out there, prepare to follow the norm.  Prepare to follow us.  Prepare to actually be a sheep and follow.  You will never get off of the treadmill and your view will never change.  Enjoy the sameness.

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Jul 292014
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Originally posted 2010-03-29 06:14:05. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

What’s up?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/ / CC BY 2.0

It seems natural to start this blog with a bit of explanation.  Cantankerous Old Coots does evoke an image but beyond that, what would encourage a reader to come back?  Everybody probably has experience with a cantankerous old coot and most likely it was a family member – someone you couldn’t avoid and someone you didn’t seek out.  In my life there was my grandfather and my father-in-law.  Family events were always fun.
Blessed Relief

So why devote a whole blog to cantankerous old coots?  If you are like me you are fed up with mealy-mouthed, namby-pamby excusitis about the crazy screwed-up world we are stuck with.  Most of us are dependent on bosses we must suck up to and people we are supposed to respect.  “The customer is always right.” “The government is here to help.” “Together everybody achieves more.” “Yes, boss, whatever you say.”  All the while, inside you are screaming with revulsion but you can’t be honest because that would be negative.

Sanity in a crazy world

The goal here at COC is to create a small corner of sanity in the craziness of our lives where it is safe to scream, point fingers and shout “That’s crazy!”. Here is a place where you can make hamburgers out of sacred cows and send sleeping dogs running frantically into the ongoing traffic.  Here we can say that the Emperor has no clothes – and that he isn’t very well endowed to boot. So join in.  Vent and enjoy the unbridled cantankerousness of saying what you really think for once. If the chips are falling, it won’t be here.  Comment, offer to guest post and encourage the committed coots to free their hidden curmudgeon.

Jul 292014
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Originally posted 2010-10-08 08:07:59. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Jester headinhand
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There are many things to complain about when you get older. Take my knees for example. They just don’t work as well as they used to. On top of that, there are pains that become routine. You learn to ignore them and keep going. That is  a lesson for later  but it sets up the dilemma a Coot faces growing older. It becomes harder and harder to keep doing everything you used to do and on top of that you finally start to accept that the end is in sight.  You are in the home stretch.   You don’t have all the time in the world to accomplish your goals. You have to cut out the shit!

One of the things your mother probably taught you was to respect people, particularly your elders. If you paid attention, then throughout your life, you listened respectfully to worthless advice and suggestions. Maybe you ignored the advice later or maybe you acted on it. Either way you invested time in hearing and considering what somebody else had to say. Most likely they were people without any evidence that they knew how to manage their own life – let alone yours but you remembered what your mother told you. Maybe you got a benefit from this. Maybe you enjoyed the respect from your elders. Maybe you took the advice and steered your way around life’s obstacles or more likely got stuck in a swamp. But maybe you ignored it, did what you damn well pleased and screwed up anyway.  It doesn’t matter much now, does it?

So today’s Coot Lesson is: Don’t listen to advice from fools. Forget what your mother told you.  Like most everything else she said, it doesn’t help you now. After all, at your age anybody older than you is surely senile. Nothing good will come from listening to them. And if they are younger, they are nothing but snot-nosed kids, still wet behind the ears and maybe their bottoms, not to mention being infused with entitlement thinking from our public schools. Stop wasting time and stop listening to fools. At this stage in your life, you don’t have time to play around.  Life is nearly over. You can see the finish line. You don’t have time to waste and you particularly don’t have time to listen to advice from people who have nothing better to do than to give it to you.

From now on, if you insist on taking advice, then only take advice from yourself – the only fool you can trust. You got yourself this far didn’t you?

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