CFBTN (Coots Funny Bone Tickler News) for Friday May 4.

 Posted by at 13:51  Funny News, principles
Jun 012013
 
1926 Ford Model T

1926 Ford Model T (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello everyone.  If you haven’t noticed, a slight change to our posting schedule is now placing the CFBTN on Friday!  That’s right I will have a few stories here to get you through your weekend.

Now, I was perusing theonion.com and fark.com for some good news stories because they usually have the humor already distilled.  I did find that the regular news is full of funny stuff and it is not too far fetched to get the funny from my local news.  But not today.  Let’s get right to it shall we?

Fergus Falls man arrested for disorderly conduct while mowing lawn in loin cloth

And you guys thought this was a free country and Bob was more than a little crazy for his Tinfoil Hat Club.  Ha!  I just bought some Reynolds wrap….

All yours for £1.75millon: Entire village for sale includes a haunted castle, a Lordship title, 70 homes and approval for a holiday park

I’ll tell you, I am saving my pennies and hoping they have a payment plan.  I did the conversion for you, that equals $2,826,580.71.  I could be a real Lord and then my kids would have to listen to me or I could have them thrown in the dungeon!

Zoo keeper licked constipated monkey’s buttocks for an hour to help it defecate a peanut

This guy is either a) Way too committed to his job, b) a pervert, or c)…you know there is no other choice except all of the above and that is what I vote.  Good grief, get some ex-lax already.

Mosquitoes Don’t Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows

I knew it all along…..

And a related story: (this one is an audio clip)    Justice….sweet Justice

And now your political funny:

Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot

I just don’t quite know what to do…

And now, here is a video wrapping up the week in transportation:

Kid Screaming Behind Passenger During Entire Plane Crash 

I do agree with the last sentence, criticize if you want but you clicked on it.

And finally, I found this story.

Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air

I do believe that this country is too into video.  Everywhere.  I am worried that Bob may try something like this when he gets his government scrambler implanted….
Have a great weekend, if you have a suggestion for the CFBTN send it to me: Justin@cantankerousoldcoots.com.

and sorry for the ads on the videos, but hey, they are free.

Later.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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A new Feature, CFBT, Coots Funny Bone Ticklers

 Posted by at 06:29  Coot Comedy, Funny News
Apr 262012
 
Large black bear at garbage pails on wagon, Ye...

Large black bear at garbage pails on wagon, Yellowstone National Park (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well Friends we have decided that there is just too much news out there for Ralph to handle on his own.  The CNS is still alive and well and will continue to come live on Sunday’s.  Thursdays however will be filled with the funny stories.  Stories of the odd, the strange, and the funny.  Feel free to form your own opinions, and then let us ridicule you in the comments.  Shall we proceed?

 

Your Fourth Wife Flies Free on Kulula Airlines

If you are headed on vacation this summer you may want to think about this airline.  And no Utah jokes inserted here….I only have 1 wife.

 

Austin police: Man beaten to death with guitar

These kids today, can’t learn how to play anything that doesn’t have buttons or flashy graphics.   I kind of feel sorry for the guitar.

Imaginary scenes from the 1960s Zambian space program

There is something strange in the water in Zambia.  First this guy wants to start a space program and then only needs $7 million to do it?  I can only see a couple of garbage cans duct taped together with a couple of skeletons inside being shot down by the Space Station before it takes out a solar panel.

Cars trashed! Garbage truck amok with drowsy driver

I am not so sure that this guy fell asleep as much as was pissed the garbage cans were not quite in the right spot.

Man skipped in line allegedly beats McDonald’s manager with bat

Good Hell man, it is only a Big Mac.

Va. couple accidentally shot at gun safety class

The only gun control that I believe in, dumbasses should not be allowed to handle firearms.

 

And now some videos, totally reminiscent of Fox News…

Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power

All hail the google, keeper of the stats, please don’t blackball my site.

Obama’s Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone

Poor guy can’t even catch a break for lunch.  No matter your politics, let the brother eat already.

Romney, Santorum Supporters To Beat Living Sh!# Out Of Each Other At Montana Primary

Finally!   This is how a primary election should be!  Maybe the general election should work like this in the electoral college.  I nominate Frazer, Ali,  and Sugar Ray Leonard as electors from Utah.

 

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself

I have no words but this doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

I hope you all had a laugh or two, See you tomorrow.

Special thanks to fark.com and theonion.com

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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