Jun 022014
 
Street sign for Wal*Mart Drive, south of Gordo...

Image via Wikipedia

This past weekend I took the family camping and fishing for my daughters birthday.  It was her idea by the way.  We drove down to the middle of Utah to a great lake and caught a ton of fish.

What I noticed is that on the way back there was lots of empty space…in the dark at least.  Plenty of stuff in the day.  What I really noticed is, even on the freeway, it was dark.  Cars passing on both sides of us because a minivan with a tent trailer has to be slow right?  70 mph not quite enough for you jackasses is it? Anyway, there were islands of light along side of the freeway that rose out of the darkness like the moon coming over the mountain.  Which was happening at the same time but irrelevant to the story.

The island of light was, you guessed it, a Wal-Mart surrounded by several smaller stores all seeming to be sycophants to the great and powerful Oz, er Wal-Mart.  My wife said, “We are OK now, there is a Wal-Mart.”  I chuckled and we drove on.  Another 10 minutes or so (again still at 70 mph and getting passed) another Wal-Mart rose out of the stygian night.  I said, “We must be back close to civilization, there is another Wal-Mart.”

That was the joke now as we passed two more before hitting Provo, the first big city on our way back to Salt Lake.  After that there were more Wal-Marts and we already knew where they all are in the valley.  We finally made it home and speculated that we may have to hit a couple of those Wal-Marts in the future.  (Not a joke, when we didn’t have kids (and a couple times with the kids) we drove the two hours up to Evanston, Wyoming just for fun.  We would have pizza at the Shakey’s and then go to Wal-Mart because there wasn’t much else to do.  Now it is a joke to stop at a new Wal-Mart.  And no, they are not all the same.  Why just last year we stopped at the one in Price, Ut………)

I think the “old” part of Cantankerous Old Coots is coming out, I am rambling.  I just want to know exactly when Wal-Mart became synonymous with civilization….Any thoughts as we go into the weekend?

(I just realized that Wal-Mart should be kicking back some advertising every time I mentioned Wal-Mart in this post.  If I got a nickel for every one, I would have .65 cents…enough for a candy bar at Walmart.  Oh, that makes .70 cents.)

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Apr 022014
 
Groundhog Day 2005 in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania
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I hope everyone had a good break from the regular cantankerosity and enjoyed Heathers work.  She has some good rants on things us other Coots don’t think about.

Is anyone else out there getting tired of winter?  I know it has been very erratic around much of the US and still continues to be…strange weather to say the least.  Next Wednesday the weather prognosticator of all prognosticators will make his debut and tell us all whether we can look forward to 6 more weeks of winter or not.
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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Apr 022014
 
Salt Lake City at dusk
Image via Wikipedia

Sorry to use the crudity of text slang but this is a PG rated blog.  Today I found a story on one of our local news sites here in Salt Lake that justhas me shaking my head.  Apparently there is nothing, I repeat absolutely nothing that is happening in Utah so they get to report this.  You can read the text here but I will tell you the gist of it.

Apparently it is big news when the State Attorney General has cancer.  It is in extremely bad taste to announce that fact in freaking YOU TUBE video that was released by the State of Utah’s Attorney Generals office! And as if that isn’t bad enough, the news gets invited to report on the fact that said Attorney General had surgery to remove part of his colon.  I was scared to even look for a video of that, it is probably out there.

The end of the story not only gives his location but hints at his further treatments.  Come on already, let the guy have SOME modicum of privacy.  As a matter fact I don’t know why I am writing about it….I am just genuinely shocked that this was an actual news story.  Yet another reason to NOT get into politics or public office.

What do you guys think? I want opinions on this one.  I also want some questions to be asked at askacoot@cantankerousoldcoots.com!  Saturday is not that far away!

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Apr 042013
 
Old Gestapo Prison in the EL-DE Museum

Old Gestapo Prison in the EL-DE Museum (Photo credit: Aaron Olaf)

You HAVE to act on this, folks. You just have to.

Today’s video is a bit longer than normal…a few second shy of 30 minutes…but it is important. Very important if you are a little boy in Utah.

Today I’m just going to tell you a story…a story about a mom, her little boy, a vindictive ex-husband, and an abusive government official who thinks she is above all control.

Now…let’s see if I can piss you off enough to get you taking action:
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Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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Apr 262012
 
Large black bear at garbage pails on wagon, Ye...

Large black bear at garbage pails on wagon, Yellowstone National Park (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well Friends we have decided that there is just too much news out there for Ralph to handle on his own.  The CNS is still alive and well and will continue to come live on Sunday’s.  Thursdays however will be filled with the funny stories.  Stories of the odd, the strange, and the funny.  Feel free to form your own opinions, and then let us ridicule you in the comments.  Shall we proceed?

 

Your Fourth Wife Flies Free on Kulula Airlines

If you are headed on vacation this summer you may want to think about this airline.  And no Utah jokes inserted here….I only have 1 wife.

 

Austin police: Man beaten to death with guitar

These kids today, can’t learn how to play anything that doesn’t have buttons or flashy graphics.   I kind of feel sorry for the guitar.

Imaginary scenes from the 1960s Zambian space program

There is something strange in the water in Zambia.  First this guy wants to start a space program and then only needs $7 million to do it?  I can only see a couple of garbage cans duct taped together with a couple of skeletons inside being shot down by the Space Station before it takes out a solar panel.

Cars trashed! Garbage truck amok with drowsy driver

I am not so sure that this guy fell asleep as much as was pissed the garbage cans were not quite in the right spot.

Man skipped in line allegedly beats McDonald’s manager with bat

Good Hell man, it is only a Big Mac.

Va. couple accidentally shot at gun safety class

The only gun control that I believe in, dumbasses should not be allowed to handle firearms.

 

And now some videos, totally reminiscent of Fox News…

Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power

All hail the google, keeper of the stats, please don’t blackball my site.

Obama’s Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone

Poor guy can’t even catch a break for lunch.  No matter your politics, let the brother eat already.

Romney, Santorum Supporters To Beat Living Sh!# Out Of Each Other At Montana Primary

Finally!   This is how a primary election should be!  Maybe the general election should work like this in the electoral college.  I nominate Frazer, Ali,  and Sugar Ray Leonard as electors from Utah.

 

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself

I have no words but this doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

I hope you all had a laugh or two, See you tomorrow.

Special thanks to fark.com and theonion.com

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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