I like a little Canadian show called “The Red Green Show“.  It is about a bunch of older guys who are just going through life with duct tape.  Check it out on PBS sometime.  The reason I bring this up is the basis for this lesson.  The men on this show belong to the Possum Lodge and while their motto is “Quando Omni Flunkus Moritai” meaning “When all else fails play dead” they begin each meeting with the mans prayer.

“I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.”  Lets face it, most people associate Cantankerous Old coots with Men.  There are women too, don’t start sending me emails about equality and all of that BS, but the first thing that pops into most people’s minds are old cranky men.

I am a man, Ralph is a man and Bob is a real man’s man.  We all exhibit levels of Cantankerousity that ebb and flow with the day.  We can take a subject and jump all over it, reach down its throat and turn it inside out and return the bloody carcass to the owner.  Or not.  It just depends.

That is today’s lesson.  While discretion may be the better part of valor, the laws of cantankerosity demand immediate action.  They demand saying what you feel, (link to lesson 4), letting it show on your face (link to lesson 5), and not giving a rats ass about it (link to lesson 13).

The law also demands that you be able to change.  Note that I didn’t say willing.  If you are willing to change you become one of those namby pamby nancy boys from accounting.  You must only be able to change.  If you have to. I guess.

You will find that in life there are a number of things to take sides on.  Coming up next month are the midterm elections.  There every red blooded American has the duty to go cast a vote for whoever spends the most money on campaign advertising.  Make that cast a vote for whoever convinces you that they will lie the least when in office.

Bob has already weighed in with his voting strategy saying:

Next month’s voting strategy…if you are in, you’re out.

Short, sweet, simple.

Is that the right attitude to have?  Probably.  Bob has a position.  He is taking a stand and being true to his Cantankerous self.  Yet if one of those currently elected officials headed out to the JuicyMaters(.com) headquarters offering huge tax breaks or cash for his vote (never mind the legality here) Bob has to be able to change his mind.  Or not.

Now I am not saying that you should be so wishy washy that it is hard to figure out just which side you are on (see President Obama during the last election).  Figure out where you want to be and work your damndest to end up there.  If there is a good reason to change, however, do it.  And if people give you crap about it, you can really wax Cantankerous on their asses.