Nov 262014
 

Hey Folks, Justin here.  I am coming to you live on what is one of the stupidest holidays in the entire world.  April Fools Day.  Informal though it may be, why do we still bother to “celebrate” something that most of the world doesn’t even truly know the origins of?  It seems there was a reference to it in Canterbury Tales back in 1392 that was badly translated and people were made to endure a full day of pranks and foolishness.

By the way kids, (notice I didn’t use that horrific BTW that has become so friggin’ popular.  That is a whole ‘nother rant) back in 527 AD Byzantine Emperor Justinian delcared that on April 2nd all Justin’s in the world should have homage paid and gifts of “gold, silver and precious things in great quantity.”  Check it out, that is tomorrow, I will just wait for all of the good things to roll in.

You see, that actually sound legit (almost) even though I made the whole thing up.  Much like April Fool’s Day.  My wife is currently preparing devious deceptions to taunt the kids with.  She loves it.  My kids love to play pranks and “get mom and dad”.  I don’t get it.  I have never really gotten it.  I don’t care to play pranks for the most part.  If I want to make someone look silly I can use words better than some silly prank.

So if you are into pranks, go for it.  Just know that there are some people out there who really don’t give the rear cavity of a rat about it.

On another note, Congrats again to Hansi for earning his degree from the Cantankerous Old Coots University.  he is now qualified to teach Cantankerosity and is an adjunct professor.  We will be featuring his first lesson next Tuesday, April 5.

And for the theme writing contest.  We have a clear winner this month with 4 votes to the 2 everything else got.  The topic that we will be writing on for the week of April 4th to April 8th is, (drumroll please) is, (no really, a drumroll here is appropriate) fine, with no drumroll the topic is Haiku.  We will just have to see what splendid and fascinating things that we can write about a simple Japanese Poem.

So that will be all today, go out and do something cantankerous.  Maybe just scream at someone who tries to pull a prank on you, or really fly off of the handle and make them cry.  That will be my goal, make a prankster cry.  Unfortunately, the only ones who will be around to pull pranks are the kids, and homework and chores make them cry anyway.  Good thing my new sink doesn’t have the separate sprayer anymore.

Thanks for reading, how are you going to get through today?

Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Mar 042014
 

I labored through the weekend crafting another insightful post intended for today.  Then I realized today is April Fool’s Day and that I would indeed be an April Fool posting anything with serious intent.  I have to confess that April Fool’s Day is not my holiday of choice.  I have never been the sort of person who takes pleasure from seeing people fall on their faces in public.  I am a person who expects life today to be pretty much like it was yesterday- no surprises and no ‘gotcha’ moments.  In short I am the perfect victim.  In fact my prime directive has been to make sure that the kind of people who love to set up April Fool’s Day pranks are somebody else’s friends- not mine. It’s a lonely life but my dignity stays intact.

English: A ticket to the washing of the lion, ...

English: A ticket to the washing of the lion, a traditional April fool’s prank (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It seems that Justin shares my antipathy for April Fools Day and perhaps my desire to seek protection from pranksters.  Unfortunately, love is blind and Justin’s wife  loves pranks.  Ideally this would provide ample experience for a post.  Not from Justin.  His lips are sealed.  What we do have is a rant from the past expressing his frustration with what he calls the stupidest holiday ever.    Instead of sharing the cleverness of his wife and kids in setting up their hapless Dad, Justin remains quiet,  silently licking his wounds.  Even the kettlebells are silent.  

Into this April Fool’s Day vacuum, I really don’t have much to add.  Bob is AWOL, as usual.  The best I can offer is a mindless movie selection or two.  One way to stay out of the way of pranksters is to stay home, lock the doors and seek mindless diversion.

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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