rants | - Part 2

To Yell at a Guru?

Posted by Justin at 11:03 rants

Feb 232015

Image via Wikipedia

Well for better or for worse, I have been looking at some nuts and bolts around here at the Coots site. I have discovered in the course of events that Ralph has been writing much more than anyone else here. Maybe he is just more dedicated or maybe he just has nothing better to do than to be an instigator.

Instigator in the dictionary of the coots should read: 1. Ralph Carlson, see ralphcarlson.com 2. The guy who has nothing better to do than come up with ideas for others to implement, see #1. 3. A guy with too much time on his hands, see #1. 4. Retired and needing to do something to stay away from his murderous-minded wife, see #1.

You have all read the origin story of the coots, from humble comment to site, comment made by, you guessed it, Ralph. And as we grow and go forward he keeps coming up with stuff for us to do. Maybe he has all the time he wants to sit and write for 2 blogs, his kids are grown and he doesn’t have medical issues that need major narcotics to deal with. Or maybe he is just the Coots Guru that we need. (see picture: Coots on a tire! which one is Ralph?)

I used to be able to keep up with him pretty good on postings and our numbers were fairly even. Bob is so far behind that he is never going to catch up. But now, I find myself 33 posts behind Ralph! I know I was off for a while but good freaking grief in a kettle. I know that numbers like that shouldn’t mean anything, my posts are far superior, well some of them at least, but just by sheer numbers I have to dub Ralph the Coots Guru.

And now, I have to decide to yell at him or not. He is the patron saint of Cantankerousness here. I think I will not yell today. But I always have that option. And now here is a real life question for you. Is it permissible to yell at your Guru’s? By that I certainly mean yell, but also disagree. If you pick up a new program (much like my new stay at home dad program that will be launching soon) and you don’t agree with something in there, I would like the feedback for someone to leave me a profanity laden email cursing out generations of my family and telling me what I did wrong.

I will probably make fun of that person on Twitter but I am not opposed to the criticism. We have the right to our own thoughts and the speech that comes from us protected under the Constitution and the First Amendment. We also have the right, no the obligation to disagree with someone who we truly feel is wrong, see Declaration of Independence. These are not new concepts. These are not wild ideas that I have created.

We need to strive for the fortitude and the Cantankerousness to put out there what our minds conjure. We need to read and understand others, to look at their ideas and programs, and then decide if they are for us or not. And you don’t have to be mean about it, but sarcasm helps.

Have a great Thursday.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Up with Cantankerous Old Coots Lessons

Posted by Ralph at 11:03 Coots Lessons, rants, Up With

Feb 232015

Newer readers may not have noticed that there is an instructive dimension to Cantankerous Old Coots. Early on Justin and I created a series of Cantankerous Old Coots Lessons designed to help fledgling Coots perfect their cantankerosity. Starting with Lesson 1 “Let it out” up to Lesson 21 “Cantankerosity lasts” we provided direction to COC wannabees. We even established Cantankerous Old Coots University with an ebook containing augmented versions of lessons 1 through 5. It was a glorious vision. We would help create a more perfect world by communicating the COC vision as stated in our manifesto and help spread the COC message to the initiated..

Coots in action

We imagined that COC would wake up hundreds of sleepwalkers from the boring tedium that is 21st century life. We were certain that slowly- over time- our readership would grow and more Coots would join with us to spread the spirit of cantankerosity. We were wrong.

COC gets read but as far as we can tell, no one wants to join the ranks, take the lessons seriously and move into serious cantankerosity. Our most popular post continues to be Coots Lesson 13 “Same to you.” a thoughtful and timeless lesson from Justin about standing up for yourself. It isn’t clear to us why this lesson resonates so well with our readers but as we struggle to understand our reader’s thinking we wonder why their pleasure with Lesson 13 doesn’t cause them to check out Lesson 12 or even Lesson 14.

Then I get it. Our readers are indeed Cantankerous Old Coots. They can’t be bothered with the effort required to locate those other lessons just like Justin and I can’t be bothered with creating a web page with links to all the lessons. This is the most encouraging news we’ve had in months because it means that we are finding Coots and Coot wannabees out in the blogosphere. They have found COC and appreciate the message and like good Coots, they are not willing to waste any time or effort to make us feel better. They have a mission to improve their quality of their lives. Improving the quality of our lives here at COC, not so much.

We clearly didn’t connect all the dots when we developed our business model here at COC. We talked a cantankerous game but measured our results using ordinary standards. What this suggests is that more people might enjoy the COC Lessons if we got off our double-wide asses and created an index of those lessons with convenient links. Being user friendly and customer service focused is not generally the prime directive here at COC This is going to take some time to sort out. Stay tuned.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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More evidence to the old….

Posted by Justin at 11:03 Down with, Plain 'ol Cantankerous, principles, Problems and solutions, rants

Feb 232015

English: Evidence of Logging. The photograph shows the main track through the woods on Houghton Moor (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know I should channel my annoyances at my aging body into wonderfully articulate and cantankerous rants, but I am not sure I am ready for that. As if I need any more of this getting old stuff. We went camping this weekend for my 12 year olds birthday. Man oh man, I felt old.

Let’s just say that this trip I was glad to have a mattress to sleep on in the tent trailer.

I was glad to sleep in until 9 AM on 2 of the 3 days.

I went to bed before midnight.

I couldn’t get up the hill without falling and messing up my knee. Well, I probably would have done that anyway.

So here I sit. I feel like an old man when I move. I am slow to get going and tired all of the time. My body is betraying me.

But then, in my mind, I feel like a 14 year old kid who is going to be in trouble all of the time. There is not the place where I feel like the 38 year old man that I should be, well am in reality.

When do you actually start to feel the age you are? Where do you feel like the adult you should feel like?

Hell I have 4 kids, the oldest just turned 12. I shouldn’t feel like I am barely older than her. But I do.

Maybe I am just tired and the constant stream of caffeine is eroding my psyche, maybe I need a therapist. Maybe I need a big jug of rum.

Whatever shall I do…..I want to end up similar to Ralph, retired and cantankerous, living life how it comes, but right now, I am going to lose my mind and be running around the nursing home in a loincloth, waving my cane and flashing the old ladies. Ahhh Dementia….you minx you. When will you visit?

Anyway, what think you all? I want some constructive information on what to do, or you can just go and jump off the short pier.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Down With Mother Nature!

Posted by Justin at 11:03 Down with, rants

Feb 232015

: Image via Wikipedia

Ahhh Ralph has been eloquent the past few days with tales of airline travel and LA. While I believe there is a place for such things, Sometimes there need to be comment on things that we can do nothing about.

I am talking about how &*^%ing hot it has been the last few days here in Utah. Check your local listings, but it seems like September is not being the crisp fall month that I remember from my youth. Days where you actually needed a jacket in the morning and may be able to do without it by the afternoon.

This past week it has seemed like late summer here. All temps in the mid 90’s. This week is scheduled for more of the same. The air conditioner is still running and the kids are still wearing shorts. So today, I saying Down with Mother Nature and Down with the Heat!

Now there are going to be those people who say “What’s the big f’ing deal? It’s hot here too.” Same statement applies. I am not sure of Ralph’s climate but whenever I think of California it is nothing but sun and heat.

There may also be those who will give me the business about living in a basic desert state. It gets hot in the desert. My Grandpa used to live in the extreme southern Utah town of St George where the summer temps routinely hit over 110 and cool off to the low 90’s at midnight. That climate sucks.

Up here in Northern Utah we have seasons. Or we used to. Now it seems like it is just warm all of the time. Last December a flannel shirt and a Levi jacket were warm enough. “So Move.” Some of you will say. That is not an option. I would rather just bitch and hone some more cantankerousness. There is nothing to be done about Mother Nature and whatever PMS is causing this heat wave.

Is it global warming? I hope not, it will last too damn long for me. I can only hope that the thermometer bottoms out and we end up having to leave a faucet on at night so the pipes don’t freeze this winter.

All in all there is a climate for every one and you just have to deal with where you are. If you don’t like it, move. If you don’t want to move, bitch about it, no one will really care.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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I am a tool.

Posted by Justin at 11:03 principles, rants

Feb 232015

Image via Wikipedia

I feel like a real tool here. I barely even read my own blog. I may as well bequeath the whole damn thing to Ralph and give up. I finally looked today, Thursday and found out there was a whole great post from Wednesday that I had no idea existed. It is getting hectic this time of year and I am not weathering it well.

I would admit to getting older and being more decrepit but I think Ralph has shown all of us that you can be an ~~old fart~~ er retired and still be reasonably in control of your mental faculties. This time of year is about to kill me.

From figuring out gifts to getting to all of the parties and miscellaneous bull crap that come on at this time of year. I am not going to dwell too long on this, I just don’t have that much to say on the matter.

I need some heavy duty doses of sleep and caffeine, not at the same time of course, that would defeat the purpose of each.

I hope your holiday season is not driving you to drinking or at least excessive drinking. And lay off the rum balls.

Anyway, have a good weekend, it will all be over in 2 weeks.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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