Coots have the computer blues!

 Posted by at 04:23  rants
Oct 082012
 
Error (EP)

Image via Wikipedia

“Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination.” — Albert Einstein

Computers: You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them

Cantankerous Old Coots are dealing with the scourge of modern existence today- computer problems. This week Bob’s computer just won’t connect to the internet. And you know what that means – we finally found a way to shut Bob up. It’s not a complete solution because Bob still can Skype. He can still write too ( if that is what you call his rambling rants) but without the internet he can’t share his wisdom.  And that pisses Bob off!

Bob is no computer whiz but what he lacks in knowledge, he more than makes up in brute force. Any moment now, I expect to feel the blast of hot air from the Georgia backwoods when he finally wills his computer into submission and gets connected with civilization again. Meanwhile, it’s just another rainy day in California while I fill the vacuum here at Coots.

Computers have changed our lives

Bob’s misadventures with computers, just remind me how dramatically computers have changed our lives. We haven’t reached the deadly evil genius computers like HAL in 2001, a Space Odyssey. What we have today is actually much worse. Computers have become something far more destructive and insidious than HAL ever dreamed of being. We used to joke about government bureaucracy and senseless rules and red tape that stopped us from living our lives. That was then. This is now. That government stuff hasn’t gone away but today we are far more constrained by computers constantly telling us no than we ever were by bureaucrats. And when you are fighting you computer, there is no recourse.

We understand humans

Bob is a good example. When Bob gets messed up by a bureaucrat, he knows what to do. He knows who to talk to and what buttons to push. Not everybody has Bob’s connections, outweighs the police department and knows how to start a strategic lawsuit, but most of us know how to talk to people and bug them until they have to respond. None of that stuff works with computers. You can sit on them, threaten a law suit and talk at them until you are blue in the face. It won’t make a difference. No wonder Bob is flummoxed.

Who are you going to call?

But Bob is not alone. Sure you can call the Geek Squad or whatever the marginally computer literate computer service guys call themselves in your neck of the woods but once you do that, it is all over because first they will babble some nonsense at you. Then they will fuss around for a while and sigh. And finally they will happily sell you a new computer because something got corrupted in your old one. If you try to debug on your own, the computer pretends to be helpful and gives you cryptic messages but it is all a sham to make you feel guilty. Soon you become frustrated and buy the idea that it is not the computers fault that it won’t work. It is all your fault. So when you finally give up in desperation, you are no longer mad at your computer, you are mad at yourself. Buying a new computer is your penance for being so stupid and ruining you old one. They have us cowed!

Here’s hoping that Bob prevails and gets his computer back in line. If anybody can do it, it will be Bob. Me, I no longer fuss at my computer. I don’t pretend any knowledge or mastery at fixing problems. I give up and buy a new one immediately.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Mar 042012
 

Hello folks.  You may have noticed that this post is not by the venerable Ralph.  He of course is in Italy either having a vacation or on some sort of work release program, based on the pictures he sent me.  Check them out for yourself and see what you think.

 Note the handcarts that Ralph must be using to shuttle things around Italy.

  This is the dock where Ralph takes pictures for people and offers his luggage shuttle service.

  And I believe this is a view from his cell hotel, where he can hear those confounded gondoliers crooning day and night.  And is it just me or is that an outboard motor on that boat?  I thought you had to use a pole and a goofy hat to get around Venice.

Of course Ralph just sent me the pictures with no explanations, so I am guessing on all of these.  Maybe I should make this a caption contest.  Anyway, Onto the NEWS!

United States of America

Image via Wikipedia

You know, there is a reason that I don’t watch the news.  It is damn depressing.  I didn’t search very far to find a plethora of despair and foolishness abounding in these United States of America.  If you notice, all of this crap is based from one site here in Salt Lake.  I shudder at what the future holds for us.

 

Police use Twitter to announce sex offender arrival

All I can say to this is I guess it will be a while longer before I let my kids use Twitter.  It is bad enough that sex-offenders have to announce it to their neighbors, but now,  the government will do it for you!

5 ways to get control of your teens’ cellphone usage

First things first, you want to control how much your teen uses their phone, dont give them a phone in the first place!  I am currently in the adamantly opposed camp of kids having cell phones.  There are several people around me that say things like “How do you know where your kids are” and “how can you keep them safe?”  Like me knowing where my kids are and being able to call them is not only a bit Big Brother but is it really going to keep them safe?  There will be a night that is snowing and icy and I am calling my teenager and they are trying to answer the phone and then the car spins out of control on the freeway and hits an embankment.  I guess I can give EMS the number so they can track down the car and my child’s lifeless body inside.  Whatever happened to trusting your kids?  I remember my mom saying “Stay in the neighborhood and come back for dinner”  that was all it took.  I stayed fairly close and I was ok.  When I got older I was fine telling my parents where I was going and they trusted me.  For the most part.  I think a lot of that trust was because they knew who I was.  They had spent time with me enough that they knew I wasn’t going to the den of sin every time I said I was at work.  maybe that is where this “Give the kid a cell phone” thing comes in, many parents don’t trust their kids because they barely know who they are.   I have spent most of the last 11 years at home raising my kids so I think I have a pretty good handle on who they are becoming.  And no matter how much they beg, they will not be getting cell phones any time soon.  They will just have to use their imaginations and come up with games that are not generated on a screen.  They will just have to deal with the fact that I can guess where they are going.  And don’t get me started on texting….

Thieves steal donations from local charity

All I want to say to this is firing squad.  How bad off are you to steal from a charity, and one that helps those with mental illness?  This sounds like kids doing the thievery but that is no excuse.  I am all in favor of public executions in the town square, broadcast live on TV, with a fine imposed or even a bench warrant issued if you don’t check in and watch.

Storms demolish small towns in Ind., Ky.; 34 dead

Mother Nature in yet another chilling reminder that we will never beat her.  God bless those who are affected….

Q&A: Google to dig deeper into users’ lives

Hi, have you met Big Brother er the Gestapo er the Communist party er Google??????  What sounds like a good idea to some sounds like just another way for the government to bend us over the barrel and scrutinize every little thing we do.  If this keeps up, it won’t be long before the First Amendment is a quaint footnote to history.

Disney forced to shut down anti-obesity exhibit amid criticisms

This one bothered the hell out of me.  First, Disney has put up a display to help kids lead healthier lives.  Not a bad idea.  Seems many places are doing it, the NFL has the Play 60 campaign and there are other get outside and play movements going on.  Even on my Wii once in a while it says to take a break and go outside.  Here Disney is trying to do this.  and there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance in this country???  WTF???  Really?  First off I am myself overweight but I am working hard to get rid of that weight.  I really want to be able to play with my grandkids in the future so being dead is not in the plan.  But, I know that I did it to myself.  I ate too much fast food and didn’t move around enough over the last few years.  Hell I spent basically 3 years sitting on my fat ass in the hospital or in the dialysis clinic with my daughter stuffing my pie hole with shit.  Not literally, of course, but here I am now.  This is another sad statement of society where there can exist a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, so people can just feel better about themselves and try to get the government to pay for their electric scooters.  Get out and walk around Disney World a few times and quit accepting fat as a handicap.

Father sues school district over son’s injuries

This story is high on my list of crap.  When I was a kid we would take sleds to school and ride the hills down to the mud and then slide some more.  If we got hurt, too bad Charlie, you weren’t careful enough.  This kid hit a rock and broke his jaw?  Why go down head first?  This would have happened if there was an adult there or not, the kid was being dumb.  Back in the day, kids were dumb.  You learned to be smart by flipping over the handlebars or skinning your knees with the roller skates or falling off of a sled.  Who should be responsible for this?  Couldn’t possibly be the kid, or even his parents who haven’t taught him how to slide down a hill with little snow on it.  It must be the school.  And the district.  I call Bullshit and hope that the judge not only throws the case out, but charges the father all of the court costs.  And if he doesn’t pay, teach him how to slide face first into that prison mattress…I’m just saying.

 

Well folks, I hope that you have been somewhat enlightened today and still find the CNS your source for news.  Ralph may be back next week if he does enough community service in Venice, or spends enough money so that they let him leave.  If not, I will be back next week.  And there may be video…

So, for today, Goodnight from the CNS…

-Justin

 

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Oct 162011
 
Remember December 7, 1941
Image by Zooomabooma via Flickr

Today we present a special edition of the coots, outside of our regular posts.  If you were missing Bob yesterday, so were the rest of us.  He had some internet issues out there in the yurt, hopefully he can get that fixed quickly and bring back the Cantakerous!  Now, onto today.

Today is “A Day that will live in infamy.”  Not today exactly, but December 7, 1941.

President Roosevelt gave us this phrase that is now part of the American lexicon along with “Life, Liberty, and Happiness” and “We Hold These Truths”.

That is the day the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, HI and brought the United States into World War II.  Even though this happened 69 years ago, we still need to remember those brave Men and Women who gave their lives that December morning, and those who immediately rose to the occasion and prevented more loss.

I am not going to go into details, there are too many other good links out there (see above).  I would like to hit some highlights though.

We were devastated to lose so many ships.  Here is a list of the ships we lost that day:
4 battleships sunk,
4 battleships damaged including 1 run aground
2 destroyers sunk, 1 damaged
1 other ship sunk, 3 damaged
3 cruisers damaged
4 midget submarines sunk,
1 midget submarine run aground,
29 aircraft destroyed,
188 aircraft destroyed
155 aircraft damaged

And then the loss of life that still grieves us:

55 airmen killed
9 submariners killed
2,402 military killed
1,247 military wounded
57 civilians killed
35 civilians wounded

There were also many who rose up and gave service to their country “above and beyond the call of duty” and were justly decorated.  In the wake of the battle 15 Medals of Honor, 51 Navy Crosses, 53 Silver Crosses, four Navy and Marine Corps Medals, one Distinguished Flying Cross, fourDistinguished Service Crosses, one Distinguished Service Medal, and three Bronze Stars were awarded.  Most military personnel are not there for medals or accolades.  They just happen to be the ones who step up and do what needs to be done.

I have written before about Veterans Day, Memorial Day and Patriot Day.  Today is another to be remembered for the brave souls who gave their lives in the pursuit of freedom and liberty, just by being there that day, and for those who survived and went on to fight the battles in the Pacific.  Gentlemen, (and ladies of course) we salute you, thank you for your service.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Jul 312011
 
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Image by Thomas Hawk via Flickr

 

We’re lucky to live in the United States

where we are free from government coersion and control of our lives but once in a while our government needs to step in to solve a problem that’s just too big for us ordinary folks to handle. Take the energy situation for example. Civilization needs energy to keep going but it seems like all the ways to get energy are expensive and full of pollution. Like I said, it’s way too complicated for us ordinary folk to handle. That’s why we have government isn’t it. There are all those dimensions like manufacturing, staying comfortable and getting around. Take automobiles. You need a car to get around but gas costs an arm and a leg (and maybe your firstborn son, to boot). You can buy one of those hybrids if you’ve got a trust fund but most of us drive cars that use gas. What can you do?  It’s a big problem.  Well in one fell stroke, the governent has eliminated the problem. If you could drive twice as far on a tank of gas all your problems would be solved? Right!. Stop worrying. With the stoke of a pen, now all cars have to get 54 miles to the gallon. Is there any problem that can’t be solved by government?

Fuel efficiency: Will new rules cure US addiction to foreign oil?

When you live in a democracy, voting is one of the most important rights. Sometimes with all the benefits and comforts today, it’s hard to keep that responsibility. There is just so much more to do that’s fun. Voting gets to be a pain.  Sometimes it takes a little incentive to get us to take that responsibility seriously.

MARIJUANA CLINIC OFFERS FREE POT TO PATIENTS WHO REGISTER TO VOTE

Moving right along , sometimes we think that the US makes all the scientific breakthroughs. We forget that serious scientific research and development is now a worldwide activity. Just to make that point clear, here is just on example of the cutting edge work from Korea.

SOUTH KOREAN SCIENTISTS CREATE $3 MILLION GLOW-IN-THE-DARK DOG

Now you will never again trip over the dog when you come in late.

I don’t have much good to say about lawyers. If you need one you are in serious shit and it’s going to cost you big time but I can’t help wondering if isn’t because most of our politicians are lawyers. You know the saying ‘when you’re a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail’. Well, I’m wondering if we didn’t have so many damn lawyers if we might have less serious shit to deal with. Anyway today I found a warm and fuzzy lawyer story. It might make you feel a little better the next time you hit some serious shit.

WOMAN GOES INTO LABOR DURING BAR EXAM, HAS BABY RIGHT AFTER

Finally a fitting tribute to an American (well maybe Austrian-American) super hero, the former Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger who’se been going through a rough patch these days. At least he’s getting some well-deserved appreciation from his homeland.

Arnold Schwarzenegger museum opens in Austrian hometown

That’s the good news for this week. Bought your gold yet?

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 172011
 
Adult male Grand Cayman Blue Iguana. Photo by ...

Image via Wikipedia

 I’m so excited!

The good news abounds this week. I just don’t know where to start so lets just begin with the story with the biggest hype- the new Harry Potter movie. From what I read it’s a blockbuster. It just another demonstration to me of our failing civilization and culture to see the world go gaga over upper class British prep school wizards. Sorry, I just can’t relate. I was mildly curious at the first one but the boarding school venue and the outlandish happenings left me happy to pass on any more visits to Hogwarts. I mean those kids don’t even play soccer or polo. They ride dragons.

So you may wonder why I include this new blockbuster in the good news. As usual these days you have to work to make anything good news and the good news here is that THIS IS THE LAST ONE! There won’t be any more of this damn silliness.

Final Harry Potter movie opens in theaters

The rest of this week’s stories take less manipulation. You can see the benefit immediately. Take flying cars. I’ve been taunted by the promise of flying cars for most of my life. They were always going to save us from rush hour traffic but the problem was they were always promised and never delivered. Well, at long last, the wait is over because in Florida you are going to be able to get one and pull it into your garage.

THE FUTURE IS HERE: THESE ‘TRANSITION’ FLYING CARS APPROVED AS ‘STREET LEGAL’

And there is more good news from Florida. Graffiti which plagues cities all over the states has become a tourist attraction in Miami. Whether this says that Graffiti artists are more talented in Florida or just that Florida knows how to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, it just demonstrates that PT Barnum was right.

Graffiti tours turn Miami street art into attraction

Right and left, endangered species are falling off the list. Apparently the sky is not falling like the green nuts keep telling us because as we learned from Jurassic Park, “Life will find a way.” First the blue iguana rebounds.

Blue iguana rebounds from extinction

Next we learn that two leopards have been hiding.

Good News for 2 Rare Leopard Species [Video]

But there is more good news. You know how you keep hearing about drinking 8 glasses of water a day. It’s been bugging me for years. Nobody ever cared how many glasses of water I drank as a kid- or how many sodas either. They somebody claiming to be a scientist started fussing about drinking enough water and telling you that enough meant eight was the right amount. Then you started seeing people carrying water bottles around with them- in the car and at office meetings. It seemed nutty until everybody was doing it. Well it turns out that it is nutty. You don’t need to drink eight glasses of water a day- or even seven or six. Now the word is that you drink when you are thirsty. What a concept. God had it all figured out. There isn’t a quota and your body knows when it needs water. It’s enough to make you lose faith in science.

Eight Glasses of Water a Day Is ‘Nonsense’

And the final good news is about our favorite young vocalist. Not only is our young man lucky in love. He turns out to be a great business man as well. His new fragrance is breaking records,

Justin Bieber fragrance ‘Someday’ could shatter celeb scent records; Likely best seller of 2011

This is definitely a red letter day for good news. Don’t expect every week to be this good. Read each of these stories carefully and savor them. They may need to last you for some time.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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