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Down with lazy, no good, non-writing buggers.

Posted by Justin at 11:02 Coot Smirk, Down with, Plain 'ol Cantankerous, principles

Feb 232015

This post is about me. It is about ineptitude, insolence and laziness. I couldn’t think of another “i” word that meant laziness. I could have looked it up but that would defeat the purpose of laziness.

There’s A Fine Line between Rest and Laziness (Photo credit: SaraiRachel)

For a long time, Ralph has been at the head of this site. For reasons known to the Universe and the laws of B.S., Bob and I have been largely absent. Bob has an excuse, he is Bob. I could come up with excuses too, but they all boil down to laziness. You know the old saying, “Excuses are like assholes, everybody has one.”

I am not going to sit here and write yet another post saying how I should post more, I am going to try and figure out just what should be done to the lazy good for nothings who go and start a site and then don’t do anything with it.

Drawing and quartering seems a bit harsh. flogging? Maybe. Turn the whole damn thing over to Ralph? Nah, that is the sure way to lose all control. So, I will write a Down with post. It is now April and the showers are starting here in Utah.

What does that have to do with writing? Nothing. Just a random thought. What do I need to do about posting? That is the question. The Coots has existed to try and bring a modicum of reality to the web. We seek to enlighten this generation about being yourself, and just letting things go. We even have tried to get you all to join us for Cantankerous Lessons. None of that has worked. I do hope Bob is getting some traction on his podcasts, they are actually quite good, and guaranteed to make you feel at least something.

I am working on yet another iteration of the old Cantankerous Old Coots podcast myself. But, I don’t know that people would be interested in hearing me bitch and moan about the world, even though it works for Bob. What I would like to do is have guests. People who would be interested in joining myself and maybe even Ralph and Bob, to talk about the world and this pussy footing, politically correct, sissified country that we are now inhabiting.

I would really like to hear from the hundreds of people that visit this blog each day hoping that Ralph will pull another nugget of cantankerous wisdom out of his ass and make you all smile. I hope is is not a disappointment when it is Bob or I that graces this page. If you are interested in joining me for an episode of “The Cantankerosity Sessions”, send me an email or comment below.

I plan on recording the episodes over Skype, unless you happen to live in the Greater Salt Lake area, and then we will still do it over Skype. You can be a part of history, or at least lost in the endless sea of podcasts that inhabit iTunes.

Imagine now that I am doing the Jedi wave and saying, “You will come and be part of the podcast. The Coots are your friends, and friends talk about what bugs them.” Bugs them like lazy, no good, non writing buggers. Join me. Be Cantankerous. The first Cantankerosity Session will hit you next week, with or without you.

-Justin

Jeremiah Brandreth (1790 – 7 November 1817) was an out-of-work stocking maker who lived in Sutton-in-Ashfield, Nottinghamshire who was hanged for treason. He was known as “The Nottingham Captain”. He and two of his conspirators were the last people to be beheaded with an axe in Britain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Coots have the computer blues!

Posted by Ralph at 04:23 rants

Oct 082012

Image via Wikipedia

“Computers are incredibly fast, accurate and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination.” — Albert Einstein

Computers: You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them

Cantankerous Old Coots are dealing with the scourge of modern existence today- computer problems. This week Bob’s computer just won’t connect to the internet. And you know what that means – we finally found a way to shut Bob up. It’s not a complete solution because Bob still can Skype. He can still write too ( if that is what you call his rambling rants) but without the internet he can’t share his wisdom. And that pisses Bob off!

Bob is no computer whiz but what he lacks in knowledge, he more than makes up in brute force. Any moment now, I expect to feel the blast of hot air from the Georgia backwoods when he finally wills his computer into submission and gets connected with civilization again. Meanwhile, it’s just another rainy day in California while I fill the vacuum here at Coots.

Computers have changed our lives

Bob’s misadventures with computers, just remind me how dramatically computers have changed our lives. We haven’t reached the deadly evil genius computers like HAL in 2001, a Space Odyssey. What we have today is actually much worse. Computers have become something far more destructive and insidious than HAL ever dreamed of being. We used to joke about government bureaucracy and senseless rules and red tape that stopped us from living our lives. That was then. This is now. That government stuff hasn’t gone away but today we are far more constrained by computers constantly telling us no than we ever were by bureaucrats. And when you are fighting you computer, there is no recourse.

We understand humans

Bob is a good example. When Bob gets messed up by a bureaucrat, he knows what to do. He knows who to talk to and what buttons to push. Not everybody has Bob’s connections, outweighs the police department and knows how to start a strategic lawsuit, but most of us know how to talk to people and bug them until they have to respond. None of that stuff works with computers. You can sit on them, threaten a law suit and talk at them until you are blue in the face. It won’t make a difference. No wonder Bob is flummoxed.

Who are you going to call?

But Bob is not alone. Sure you can call the Geek Squad or whatever the marginally computer literate computer service guys call themselves in your neck of the woods but once you do that, it is all over because first they will babble some nonsense at you. Then they will fuss around for a while and sigh. And finally they will happily sell you a new computer because something got corrupted in your old one. If you try to debug on your own, the computer pretends to be helpful and gives you cryptic messages but it is all a sham to make you feel guilty. Soon you become frustrated and buy the idea that it is not the computers fault that it won’t work. It is all your fault. So when you finally give up in desperation, you are no longer mad at your computer, you are mad at yourself. Buying a new computer is your penance for being so stupid and ruining you old one. They have us cowed!

Here’s hoping that Bob prevails and gets his computer back in line. If anybody can do it, it will be Bob. Me, I no longer fuss at my computer. I don’t pretend any knowledge or mastery at fixing problems. I give up and buy a new one immediately.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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