Feb 232015
 
Salt Lake City
Image via Wikipedia

Ahhh Ralph has been eloquent the past few days with tales of airline travel and LA.  While I believe there is a place for such things, Sometimes there need to be comment on things that we can do nothing about.

I am talking about how &*^%ing hot it has been the last few days here in Utah.  Check your local listings, but it seems like September is not being the crisp fall month that I remember from my youth.  Days where you actually needed a jacket in the morning and may be able to do without it by the afternoon.

This past week it has seemed like late summer here.  All temps in the mid 90’s.  This week is scheduled for more of the same.  The air conditioner is still running and the kids are still wearing shorts.  So today, I saying Down with Mother Nature and Down with the Heat!

Now there are going to be those people who say “What’s the big f’ing deal?  It’s hot here too.”  Same statement applies.  I am not sure of Ralph’s climate but whenever I think of California it is nothing but sun and heat.

There may also be those who will give me the business about living in a basic desert state.  It gets hot in the desert.  My Grandpa used to live in the extreme southern Utah town of St George where the summer temps routinely hit over 110 and cool off to the low 90’s at midnight.  That climate sucks.

Up here in Northern Utah we have seasons.  Or we used to.  Now it seems like it is just warm all of the time.  Last December a flannel shirt and a Levi jacket were warm enough.  “So Move.” Some of you will say.  That is not an option.  I would rather just bitch and hone some more cantankerousness.  There is nothing to be done about Mother Nature and whatever PMS is causing this heat wave.

Is it global warming?  I hope not, it will last too damn long for me.  I can only hope that the thermometer bottoms out and we end up having to leave a faucet on at night so the pipes don’t freeze this winter.

All in all there is a climate for every one and you just have to deal with where you are.  If you don’t like it, move.  If you don’t want to move, bitch about it, no one will really care.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Feb 232015
 
Utah in the United States

You can't miss Utah

The weather in Utah is legendary for changing at a moments notice.  Ok maybe not legendary, but at least known to the public here.  Give it a minute the weather will change is a mantra we live by in the spring.

So When this post was written we had just finished a day of heavy rains.  The weather forecast said it was going to be partly cloudy and warmer.  I washed a load of towels to hang outside on the line.  Just getting ready to hang them out, and it starts raining.  I am sure mother nature was just thwarting me.

I had a few choice things to say to Nature at that point.  I kind of wanted to be Captain Dan in Forrest Gump screaming at the storm.  But, I had kids at home.

There will be another snowstorm, that is almost guaranteed.  Except it will be 80 this weekend and I have to get the lawn mower out before the jungle sets in.  My Great Grandpa, who had a garden that should have been on a magazine, always said, “Don’t plant anything until after Mother’s Day.”  That is sage advice here, because you will just get your tomatoes growing and it will freeze.  It just does here.

I have never been disappointed with that advice, even with pressure from my wife a few times becasue the weather was nice.  Didn’t plant, didn’t get frozen.  So, do you all have some interesting weather thwarting stories to share with us?  I would really like to hear them.  You can’t beat Mother Nature completely but you may be able to slap some sense into her once in a while.  Well, probably not.

Have a great Weekend.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Up with Old Age

 Posted by at 17:01  Up With
Jun 022014
 

Making a Silk purse out of a sow’s ear is a life mission.

The Old Coot

The Old Coot (Photo credit: goingslo)

One of our principles here at Cantankerous Old Coots is not to hold back. We believe in straight talk, calling a spade a spade and facing the music. We understand that those are the behaviors embraced by a man of integrity and we firmly support the notion that in the English language, at least, a man of integrity is generic, encompassing both major sexes and even a few of the minor ones. Cantankerous Old Coots aspire to be men of integrity but we also modestly confess that telling it like it is is also a direct product of the aging process.

What else can you do when all those bodily functions and physical abilities desert you? You rant. And when ranting just doesn’t satisfy you start picking the world around you to pieces. You notice it’s failures and you tell is like it is. You can’t change reality or bring back your youthful energy, physical prowess and libido but it serves notice that you have had it up to here with old age and you aren’t going to take it any more. You channel Howard Beal. Of course, it doesn’t fix anything but, at least, it distracts you for the moment.

Which came first? The cantankerous or the coot.

One of the explanations for the existence of cantankerous old coots is the aging process. Getting old makes you just naturally turn cantankerous and, of course, when you turn cantankerous what is more natural than being called a coot. Most people will accept that as a straightforward explanation. Most people are fools. This is a very superficial perspective on aging , the kind that you develop when you are a youngster and don’t know any better. When you are young and everything works like it is supposed to, you just don’t know what you don’t know. Youngsters imagine that they understand life when, in fact, they are clueless.

Aging is one of those facts of life that we learn early on and think we understand. We observe old people but can’t fathom that life will take us all there- if we are lucky. The young mind sees old people and can’t truly believe that they were once young. They also have no way to understand their future; what it is like to be old. They believe it is all cosmetic, wrinkles and gray hair with the body still willing..

The Young don’t get it.

Youngsters can’t get their heads around the physical reality of aging. They don’t believe that it will actually happen to them. The young mind refuses to acknowledge it’s own aging . The young mind denies the physical deterioration of his body but each year that denial becomes harder to justify.

At some point the reality hits. Denial become impossible and the true test of life begins.

You begin to ask the important questions. What good are you? What justification can you find in struggling on? Who really cares? This is a painful and humiliating process: accepting old age after decades of denial. Some deal with it better than others. Many wilt with this acceptance and meekly surrender to decrepitude and dependence. Others just give up and expire. A few refuse to go quietly into the dark night of senility. They get mad. They fight back. They protest and complain. They get noticed. Sometimes they even matter. Those are the Cantankerous Old Coots.

But you never win.

Of course in the end, it makes absolutely no difference. Life on earth is finite. At some point the perceived advantages of continuing to exist start to lose out to the difficulties. Cantankerous Old Coots might hold on longer just for the sheer, good-matured fun of messing with Mother Nature but that is an individual decision. Cantankerous Old Coots aren’t in it to win. Nobody wins. For a Cantankerous Old Coot it is the battle. Did you give it all you had? And did anybody notice?

So where do you stand?

Are you a Cantankerous Old Coot, a foolish youngster or in denial? Going down easy or hard?

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Up with Old Age

 Posted by at 11:30  Up With
Jan 312013
 

You just can’t avoid it.

One of our principles here at Cantankerous Old Coots is not to hold back. We believe in straight talk, calling a spade a spade and

The Old Coot

The Old Coot (Photo credit: goingslo)

facing the music. We understand that those are the behaviors of a man of integrity and we firmly support the notion that in the English language, at least, a man of integrity is generic, encompassing both major sexes and even a few of the minor ones. Cantankerous Old Coots aspire to be men of integrity but we also modestly confess that telling it like it is is also a direct product of the aging process.

What else can you do when all those bodily functions and physical abilities desert you? You rant. And when ranting just doesn’t satisfy you start picking the world around you to pieces. You notice it’s failures and you tell is like it is. You can’t change reality or bring back your youthful energy, physical prowess and libido but it serves notice that you have had it up to here with old age and you aren’t going to take it any more. You channel Howard Beal. Of course, it doesn’t fix anything but, at least, it distracts you for the moment.

Which came first? The cantankerous or the coot.

One of the explanations for the existence of cantankerous old coots is the aging process. Getting old makes you just naturally turn cantankerous and, of course, when you turn cantankerous what is more natural than being called a coot. Most people will accept that as a straightforward explanation. Most people are fools. This is a very superficial perspective on aging , the kind that you develop when you are a youngster and don’t know any better. When you are young and everything works like it is supposed to, you just don’t know what you don’t know. Youngsters imagine that they understand life when, in fact, they are clueless.

Aging is one of those facts of life that we learn early on and think we understand. We observe old people but can’t fathom that life will take us all there- if we are lucky. The young mind sees old people and can’t truly believe that they were once young. They also have no way to understand their future; what it is like to be old. They believe it is all cosmetic, wrinkles and gray hair with the body still willing..

The young can’t handle it!

Youngsters can’t get their heads around the physical reality of aging. They don’t believe that it will actually happen to them. The young mind refuses to acknowledge it’s own aging . The young mind denies the physical deterioration of his body but each year that denial becomes harder to justify.

At some point the reality hits. Denial become impossible and the true test of life begins.

You begin to ask the important questions. What good are you? What justification can you find in struggling on? Who really cares? This is a painful and humiliating process: accepting old age after decades of denial. Some deal with it better than others. Many wilt with this acceptance and meekly surrender to decrepitude and dependence. Others just give up and expire. A few refuse to go quietly into the dark night of senility. They get mad. They fight back. They protest and complain. They get noticed. Sometimes they even matter. Those are the Cantankerous Old Coots.

It’s all futile. 

Of course in the end, it makes absolutely no difference. Life on earth is finite. At some point the perceived advantages of continuing to exist start to lose out to the difficulties. Cantankerous Old Coots might hold on longer just for the sheer, good-matured fun of messing with Mother Nature but that is an individual decision. Cantankerous Old Coots aren’t in it to win. Nobody wins. For a Cantankerous Old Coot it is the battle. Did you give it all you had? And did anybody notice?

 

Are you a Cantankerous Old Coot, a foolish youngster or in denial? Going down easy or hard?

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Apr 292012
 

It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature! 

waters on the Adams river thick with Sockeye s...

waters on the Adams river thick with Sockeye salmon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once again it’s time for our Cantankerous Old Coots news report. I don’t know if Bob is getting to me but all of the stories today are about government. Now that I think about it, these days it is hard to find any aspect of life where the government hasn’t gotten itself involved. And as soon as the government starts messing with something, they find unintended consequences that they have to fix which cause other unintended consequences and soon enough we have a whole government bureaucracy to manage something that took care of itself for millions of years at no cost. Once you intervene into Mother Nature’s affairs, there is just no getting out. As they are finding out it Oregon. It’s not so easy to do something nice for the beleaguered salmon. First you have to say ‘May I’.

Oregon asks to kill salmon-eating birds

In California, lawmakers discover that loveable sea otters just can’t play nice with fisherman and don’t believe in the rule of law.  Bill would keep Southern California’s controversial ‘no-otter zone’ in place

Bill would keep Southern California’s controversial ‘no-otter zone’ in place

Don't fence me in

The other story this week takes us back to Germany. German politics is always interesting because Germans seem unable to manage with only two parties. With two parties, politics is simple and boring. You have a majority party and a minority party. One controls and the other fusses. When you have three or more parties, then nobody has a majority and politics is a mess. Messy politics, coalitions of people that don’t get along and gridlock are probably the main reason the European Union was formed. With the EU, bureacrats run everything and voters don’t count. Like the EPA back here. Governing is easy unless you are the poor citizen.  But I digress.

German’s used to love the Green party but with the solar debacle, Green has gotten a bad name and out of nowhere a new party has emerged to take it’s place.  Move aside Christian Democrats.  Make way for  – The Pirate Party. ARRRRG!.

German Pirate Party Attempts to Reinvent Politics 

Don't mess with the pirate party

As usual, Bob has sent some more stories that titillate his funny bone.  Don’t blame me.

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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