The weekend and beyond

Sunday- It’s the Philadelphia Marathon– watch thousands of people stress their bodies beyond reason just to demonstrate that you are a sad couch potato

It is also World Hello Day – This is a new one to the Coots. Apparently started after the 6 day war, today is your opportunity to spread the word that world peace is great. Just say hello to 10 people and you are done. Hello!

Other good news- Congress is in recess. Hallelujah! Since they won’t do their job like extending the tax cuts, the only way to keep them from doing more damage is to be on recess. Take your time Congress.  We promise not to miss you.

Alaska Senate race kerfuffle

Current Senator Lisa Murkowski lost the primary and ran as a write in candidate beating the guy that beat her – if you count all the ballots from people that don’t know how to spell Murkowski. Murkowski may be a sore loser but she showed her opponent not to fool with the big money interests that run Alaska and who financed her write-in campaign and wrangled a soft interpretation of the election  law during the counting. If her opponent sues, the judge will delay the certification. Now the question is, how many Alaskans can spell Murkowski. With all the money, Mukowski spent saving her seat, she should have held a spelling bee before the election.

Houston exporter who sold outdated food for U.S. troops to pay $15M

Upstanding Houston exporter with a strangely foreign sounding name sells bad food to the military. Samir and his lovely wife Suzanne bought outdated food and changed the expiration dates before selling it. Coot’s research staff is unable to determine the religious persuasion and countries of origin of Samir and Suzanne. No doubt this is unnecessary information which might prejudice readers who would otherwise be indifferent to poisoning our troops. Coots can’t help wondering if this is a twofer- make a bundle while waging an undercover  jihad.

Senate OKs $4.5B to settle claims by black farmers, American Indians

Coots can’t figure this one out. Black farmers are allowed to file late and still get money because they are black? What about the white and yellow farmers who can’t file on time. This sounds like big time discrimination to us. If you are an Indian, you don’t even have to file. What is America coming too?

TSA to let pilots skip body scanners, pat-downs

Coots have already weighed in on the new TSA assault on privacy. TSA has so far hung tough with the line that it is for our own good. Letting the pilots skip the pat down is the first softening in their hard line with the quite reasonable assumption that the pilot has no need for explosives if he wants to crash the plane. Does this back-down indicate that the fortress has been breached and that we can expect further retreat? Don’t hold your breath but Coots will keep you informed.

2,000 aborted fetuses found in Bangkok temple

Coots don’t know many Buddists. We have always felt the love from the rotund, smiling Buddah and believed the best about his followers. Now we learn that Thai Buddists are even more inscrutable than we thought. I’m not sure what the old fashioned abortionists here in America did with their fetuses (pre the rewrite of the Constitution). I know that they never would have been stored in the Methodist Church basement. Not so in Thailand. Just drop them off at he local temple for a rebate.

MSNBC suspends ‘Morning Joe’ host for political contributions

First Keith Olberman and now Joe Scarborough violate MSNBC’s prohibition against making political contributions. It must be part of the fine print.

Ground Zero workers settle lawsuit

Coots can’t help wondering why this required a lawsuit. Can’t we do the right thing without a lawyer? We sure can’t do much right with them, it’s for damn sure.

Gettysburg Address is 147 years old today

Coots readers will already know about this historic event thanks to Justin’s Gettysburg podcast. Just another demonstration of the value that reading the Coots can provide. If you don’t read it from Coots, you don’t need it.

Ukraine’s topless protesters gain fame

It is great to watch as Ukraine’s infant democracy gains experience. Originally focusing on women’s rights, the protesters now address politican issues as well. Coot’s just love democracy in action. We could watch all day.

These are the headlines that USA Today says are important.  Who are we to complain.  Now you know what is important, now do something worthwhile (and stay out of the headlines doing it).  We will be watching.