Up with poetry!

 Posted by at 11:48  Up With
Nov 262014
 
Oscar Wilde, three-quarter length portrait, fa...

Image via Wikipedia

Especially BAD poetry. 

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. Oscar Wilde

When you are learning about blogging, you will listen to most anybody that seems successful. When I started out, that was anybody who had been blogging longer than I had. So I stumbled around quite a bit in the early days before I found my ‘voice’. I listened to all kinds of advice, particularly about improving my writing skills. Since I thought I was a pretty good writer, I tended to avoid the really hard stuff like writing serious pieces with structure and logic. What I preferred was the stuff you could just wing. One of the ideas I actually pursued was the suggestion that you could learn about writing by writing poetry, even bad poetry.

I have never in my life been very much attracted to poetry. I hate the kitschy rhyming cliches in greeting cards and I can’t understand the free flowing stuff from the ‘real’ poets. Sometimes Shakespeare gets through but mostly I’m a lost cause for poetry. So naturally the idea of writing ‘bad’ poetry was very tempting. How could I go wrong?

My preference is limericks. I know that they are lowbrow but they have the only rhythm that I understand and they are usually humorous. So that is where I started. I posted them on my blog feeling that I shouldn’t waste all that effort. Here is an example.

 

Blogger Jack

There once was a blogger named Jack

Whose writing was loaded with drack

His intelligence was shorte

For cliches were his forte

SEO kept Jack’s jack in the black.

If that isn’t bad enough for you I have a whole page full of bad poetry you can check out.

But even worse, earlier this year Justin got the hare brained idea that we weren’t high brow enough here at COC and he gave us one of his ultimatums. He demanded that we all write haiku for our weekly posts. Poetry wasn’t enough for Justin. He needed us to write in inscrutable oriental mode. He demanded haiku. Well one thing a Coot learns early on is don’t mess with Justin so whatever crazy idea he comes up with, the Coots deliver. So we wrote cantankerous haiku like the one below.

Boring, routine day

Take the road less traveled

Be cantankerous

So if writing bad poetry was any clue about good writing, the Coots would have a Nobel Prize or at least a Pulitzer. We’re still waiting for the phone call.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Nov 262014
 

I can’t begin to understand where Justin gets his ideas but it is even harder to understand what is going on in our readers minds- or lack thereof.  This month they demand that we write Haiku.  Go figure.

I could write an essay about haiku and prepare pointers for mastering the fine art or haiku writing but that might expose the fact that I don’t know crap about Japanese poetry.  So I’m just going to cut to the chaise today and write haiku for your appreciation.  Readers are going to have to read them and then decided whether or not to weep.    But lets up the ante here.  If I’ve got to write haiku, then it is only fair that readers should have to respond in haiku as well.  After all, I didn’t vote for haiku.  Don’t ever let anybody tell you that decisions don’t have consequences.  Then I ask you to vote for your favorite haiku.

Haiku Number 1

Snowy mountain tops

Spring flowers blooming riot

California

Haiku Number 2

Spring-rain soaked ground

Undermines peaceful homestead

Sweet gum tree attacks


Haiku Number 3

Boring, routine day

Take the road less traveled

Be cantankerous


Haiku Number 4

Kid cacophony

Stay at home dad conundrum

Sound the kettlebell!

So that my haiku contribution for today.  If you want to guess the inspiration for each poem, give it your best shot and remember to vote for your favorite and lets have those comments in the form of haiku.

What is your favorite of today's haiku?

  • Haiku 3 (67%, 2 Votes)
  • Haiku 4 (33%, 1 Votes)
  • Haiku 1 (0%, 0 Votes)
  • Haiku 2 (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 3

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Haiku-apps

Haiku-apps (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 292014
 
Walt Whitman's use of free verse became apprec...

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Say it loud and forceful enough and that’s what “Haiku” sounds like…a sneeze.

I’m afraid I can’t contribute to the subject of Haiku, either by writing one or talking about it as a subject.

When it comes to writing poetry, being the dumb, redneck hillbilly I am…my poetry is somewhat limited, one of my better efforts being:

“Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Butt-holes stink,

And so do you.”

Walt Whitman I’m not.

As for the subject of Haiku itself, I can’t contribute much there either. I just don’t get excited about stuff the Japanese export to the US. Things they send us that are supposed to be good always seem to turn out bad in the end.

Toyotas are good cars, or so we were told. Long lasting, few repairs, run well… Well, as it turns out yes, they DO run well. The problem is they don’t stop worth a damn.

If you have any age on you you’ll remember that the lack of quality in consumer products that we now associate with the “Made in China” label began as “Made in Japan” not that many years ago. When I was a kid the only good thing the Japanese made was cheap transistor radios not much bigger than a pack of cigarettes that you could hang on your belt…the world’s first walkman.

And, of course, If you are from or have lived in the south in the last 20-30 years, there is the little matter of Kudzu.

Kudzu was a “gift” from Japan for US landowners to use as groundcover to prevent erosion. What the Japanese failed to tell us is that Kudzu is FAR more than a groundcover. It is a telephone pole cover, a tree cover, a shrubbery cover, a barn cover, and, if you don’t watch it, a house cover. It grows like wildfire and is almost impossible to get rid of once it’s established.

It is the only plant I know that you can literally watch grow…its vines will grow as much as 18 inches a day!

A “gift” from Japan? Maybe…but I’ve always considered Kudzu a payback for Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

No…I hope Haiku is just a fad that goes away. Can you imagine if it takes over with the young as a way of communicating like text talk has? “How R U? I’ll C U L8er.” Is bad enough…I don’t want to have to learn to decipher Haiku just to figger out what the kid behind the counter at Micky D’s is saying.

Toyota’s are bad,

Kudzu is worse,

I hope Haiku fades,

Not becoming a curse.

 

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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Jun 112014
 

Haiku.  Who picks these topics to vote on….ok it was me so I guess I asked for it.  I sat down to write this post and tried to figure out how to address haiku without writing a bunch of them.  (I did write this part of the post before Ralph got his post out, but had I written a bunch of haiku I would just look like a follower and that is in no way cantankerous.)   So I decided to see how many words I could think of that rhymed with haiku.

Here goes: achoo, pew, phew, do….. Eventually I am going to get in trouble for words that people get offended by.  Sorry Bob, I’ll stop with the list.

So now, I have to laugh at this picture, explaining a Japanese poem in Russian with a bit of English tossed in.  Just struck me as funny that’s all.

 

 

Ok so haiku, a small poem with a 5-7-5 structure.  Used to create something profound or beautiful in a structured, disciplined way.  I am not good sticking to those rules.  I like my meter to flow better.  Iambic Pentameter is kind of fun, sticking each like to 10 syllables but haiku is just not long enough.  That must mean I am too wordy.  (Shut up Ralph).

I do agree that limericks are much more fun to write and to read but that is not the topic.  You know I went and read the Wikipedia article about haiku and as much history and significance as they put into it,  it still sounds like a bunch of drunk Japanese guys writing BS and passing it off as art.

My opinion.  If you are a huge fan of the art, write me a post about it and I will run it.  Other wise…..at least limericks written by drunk Irishmen are funny or even profound.

So here is a Coots toast to Haiku:

I hope I never

am forced to write another

a stinking Haiku.

Have a good weekend kids, we will be back with more on Sunday with Ralph’s look at the news.  Right now, I have to go shovel some snow.  Spring in Utah, gotta love it.

 

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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