It’s December and this Coot is cold – and bored.

 Posted by at 11:01  Plain 'ol Cantankerous
Feb 232015
 
Sign at the entrance of Sun City West, Arizona
Image via Wikipedia

Where is Global Warming when you need it?

This Coot is frustrated today. It may be just the weather. It is only December and we’ve got frost. What ever happened to that global warming thing? Wherever it went, bring it back because I need it. Still, I’d probably be frustrated even if if weren’t freezing because my life is boring. Something is wrong here. It’s not the way it happens on TV. I did the right stuff. I went to college as long as I could get away with it. I got a job- it was even an ‘interesting’ job. Then I retired. I followed the plan. I put up with serious shit and smiled even when I hated it. Then put my nose down, did the energizer bunny thing and got another job and then another. Then I won! I got to retire. Now I want my reward.

And what’s up with retirement?

So, I’m sitting around in my retirement bliss wondering where is all the fun. I put up with big time inconvenience for all my adult life so that one day I would get to retire and do what I wanted. Isn’t that what fun is all about? Thinking back, nobody was ever very clear about what that fun would be. The TV ads always show golf courses but since I never had time to play golf I would first have to learn. Going back to school again doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Then apparently when you retire you are supposed to go live with other old fogies. Apparently retirement fun is living in some place with a golf course along with a swarm of happy, semi-conscious old people sipping wine and watching the sunsets. Can you spell B O R I N G?

Did I get snookered big time? Is the Pope catholic?

Maybe I should have learned golf.

Maybe I should stop struggling. Maybe I should learn to play the golf and live in one of those senior communities. Let’s say that I’ve managed to put away enough money to move to one of those golf course ghettos. Would my life be better? I don’t think so. First, I’d be broke from buying into the place and couldn’t afford to travel. I’d be stuck there forever. Then I’d be surrounded by mindless twits who play golf all day. What would I talk about? And who could I talk to? When you live in a place like that, how often do you see people from the real world? How often would my family actually visit me and provide intelligent conversation? My retirement may be boring now but if I lived in a golf ghetto, I would be pleading for Alzheimer’s to take me into oblivion. That is no life for a self-respecting coot.

It is a serious existential question.

Dust off the Kierkegaard. Dig out the Sartre. What even made me buy into this retirement trap of happy senility? If there is a solution to my retirement problem, then I guess it is up to me to find it. Society has certainly let me down. If I had waked up sooner, I might have paddled up a different creek and become a rock star because they seem to go on forever. Never mind it won’t do me much good to cry about it now. I’ve got to take my boring life to a new plateau. I need to find something fulfilling to do and keep warm while doing it. Something that doesn’t require so much discipline. Forget golf. I’ll take up pyromania.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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CNS for New Years Day 2012- Is it the end?

 Posted by at 01:23  Headline News
Jan 012012
 

 

It’s here! 

Well, by the time you read this it will be 2012 and if you believe the Mayans, 2012 is all they wrote. I remain skeptical. After all, if the Mayans knew so much, why aren’t they still around? Still, lots of people like doomsday threats and we still have almost a year until 12/21/12 when it is all supposed to end.  So expect to hear a lot more about the end of the world.

Of course, like all predictions, there are plenty of ambiguities and weaseling when you actually get into what those Mayans really intended to say. It seems that they might have been saying that 2012 marked the end of an era which began long before Mayan civilization arose and ends long after it disappeared. It is hard to believe that they put much faith in either the beginning or the end.  They couldn’t even handle the middle.

Coots are skeptics!

The Coot’s don’t hold much for doomsday scenarios. We don’t hold much stock in Global Warming and if we remember right there was some kind of Raelian end of the world predicted a year or so ago that fell through. We don’t expect the Mayans to do much better. None-the-less we know that our readers are thirsty for more information and so as we begin what may be the last year ever we provide our readers with some links to help  sort it all out.

First, what are the End of the world Predictions for 2012

Second, what are believers and skeptics saying

 And finally, if you just want it all to go away National Geographic debunks it all.

It’s all up to you from this point. The Coots wash their hands of 2012 doomsday predictions. If 2012 is like 2011 it will be bad enough. And if 2012 goes any worse than 2011 we might just welcome doomsday as an improvement.

All things considered, we recommend that you party hearty. It might be your last chance.


Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Hey Al…send global warming, please!

 Posted by at 05:55  Coot Comedy, Plain 'ol Cantankerous
Sep 042011
 
Al Gore
Cover of Al Gore

AlGore used to irritate me.  All of his pseudo-science based bullshit about the threat of global warming pissed me off on several levels.

First off, I hate hypocrisy, and when I see a jackass like Gore preaching “protect the environment” at symposiums attended by “leaders” who arrived on private jets carrying 2-3 people each, rather than on fuel efficient commercial airliners…I lose all interest.

(I must admit, however, that I paid enough attention to note that last winter there were several “global warming” meetings cancelled due to severe cold and snow.  How’s that global warming thing working out for you there, Al?  ***snicker, snicker, snicker***)

In fairness, it’s not just good ol’ Al that shows such hypocrisy.  I used to subscribe to Mother Earth News (yes, I put up with their left leaning politics.  Their self-sufficiency articles were good.)

Then they put John Jr or Joe or some other Kennedy brat on the cover plugging his interview inside that month’s issue…an interview on…what else…global warming.  Guess where the cover photo was taken?  Beside the private jet he had just arrived in, coming to Los Angeles from Martha’s Vineyard just for the interview in that waste of jet fuel.

So much for Mother Earth News…it was nice knowing ya.

Anyway, now I’m willing to have a truce with AlGore, at least temporarily.  You see, I have 5-6 inches of his global warming on my front porch right now, and down here in Georgia we don’t have snow shovels.  No matter that I’m only 60 miles north of Atlanta…the same Atlanta with only two white Christmases in history, the most recent in 1882…according to Al we are still in the middle of a global heat wave…so I’d like to ask a favor of good ol’ Al:

Please send me some of that heat wave stuff.

Not a lot…I don’t want to warm up all of Georgia…just the half mile or so surrounding me so my neighbors and I can move around a bit.  I think you could probably get enough of your global heat wave in a box that UPS could deliver that would get the job done.

Al, if you’ll send that, I’d appreciate it and I’ll get off your hypocritical ass…at least a little bit.  I’ll consider it a late Christmas present.

Oooppss…

Never mind, Al…

There is too much of your global warming BS on the roads for the UPS delivery truck to get to my house.

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Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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