Down with Evil…

 Posted by at 10:42  Down with
Feb 152014
 

Where ever you find it.

We all know it’s an evil world. All you have to do is open the newpaper or turn on the TV. This Coot tries to avoid the bad news but each day it gets harder and harder. Some days it seems like the only way to protect yourself from the proliferating evil in the world is to retreat back in the woods, away from people. My partner here at Coots, Bob, prides himself on being ahead of the curve. He moved back in the woods years ago, taking the road less traveled and not coming back. He’s been pretty smug about the joys of living away from people in the idyllic Georgia backwoods but lately the woods haven’t been so idyllic. There is something evil happening there.

 

Scientists have long suspected that trees are not so benign and positive as the folklore suggests and lately they confirmed the truth. Trees are evil.

Instead of finding safety in the woods, Bob now finds that he is on the front line of attack from evil trees which attacked his Yurt last night. Communications have been difficult as Bob tries to save his homestead and ward off the attack. He has requested backup but so far is on his own and outnumbered againt the foe.  And Bob’s backyard  is not the only place where trees are attacking. This story tells how African villagers are terrorized by trees.

Elsewhere Coot’s News Service correspondants have provided news footage showing other places where trees have attacked. This attack happened in the Smoky Mountains, not that far from Bob’s outpost.

 

And finally, Coots has obtained news footage from Bob’s local sherif. It is a full scale war. Let’s just hpe and pray that Bab can hold his own and beat those evil trees back.

There are even attacks indoors. It is looking very ominous now.


Attack of the Trees – Watch more Funny Videos

Keep Bob in your prayers.   How are the trees behaving in your neck of the woods?

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Apr 202013
 

For those of you familiar with the TV show, Cash Cab this is a shout out question. Here’s some background if you haven’t seen the show. Unsuspecting passengers get into a cab only to find they are on a quiz show and if they don’t answer the questions, they get dumped on the street. Passengers/contestants can ask for help if they don’t know the answer to a question. They can ask friends or even people on the street to help them get the right answer. It is nice to get help when you feel clueless and that’s exactly how I feel today. I have a serious question and I’ve got a hunch that guessing wrong could be a big problem so let me know what you think. Here’s the situation.

Was it innocent TV watching?  0r. . . .

Yesterday I was working hard on a new post for Coot’s while my wife was busy elsewhere. Finally I got the post all finished and decided to take a break so I looked for my wife. In the TV room I found her deeply engrossed in a TV show. Normally I wouldn’t pay attention to my wife’s afternoon viewing but as I moved past, I heard a voice say ‘evil women’. I turned to see a woman injecting arsenic into her husband’s arm. Riveted I stayed to learn that this woman had told her husband that the Doctor had advised this treatment and, trusting soul that he was, he believed her, It seems that this was husband number three and the widow would quickly find a replacement. This evil woman was only one of many in a marathon lasting all day and even into the night.

At first I was amused, but then…

You don’t see many shows focusing on killer women. I watched for a time too As I continue to think about this program and my wife’s interest, I am getting a bit concerned. Was this show just a diversion for my wife or was she doing research? I thought that we were getting along fine lately making up for some conflicts earlier in our marriage. Now I’m wondering if I am deluding myself. Maybe everything isn’t so rosy as I thought. Should I be worried that my wife is researching ways to put me out of the picture? I was extra nice to her last night just to be safe but in the meantime I’m being very cautious.

Help!

So here is where I need some help Am I being paranoid and delusional or merely cautious and concerned? How can I be sure that my wife doesn’t plan to do me in? And what should I do in the meantime to show her that I’m worth more alive than dead, There is a lot at stake here. I don’t want to get this wrong..

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jan 152012
 
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Image by mariachily via Flickr

Hello folks.  Today’s podcast is inspired by a post over on my friend Maria Muir’s site.  It is about the absurd lengths the TSA is going through to make sure citizens get violated, I mean secured.  Go check Maria’s stuff out at MariaMuir.com. She will love the traffic.  The link to the article is after the podcast!

This pic is just a portent of what will be expected in the airport in the next few years. I can picture the agent (a large woman with a german accent strangely enough) saying, “Now you will stand like this while we check you for incendiary devices in your lower intestine!”  Scary thoughts.

[powerpress]

Thanks for listening.  Here is the link to Maria’s post: http://mariamuir.com/2010/12/01/tsa-the-new-sex-predators-grooming-your-children-with-your-consent/comment-page-1/#comment-3086

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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