April Fools Day is past and this Coot is just fine with that. Who dreamed up that idea anyway? Justin claims that Chaucer was the guy but how would you know. My high school English teacher always claimed that the Canterbury Tales was written in English but you couldn’t prove it by me. You could claim that Chaucer discovered relativity and get away with it. Anyway, whether Chaucer thought it up or not, April Fools Day is past and we got off pretty easy this year. Maybe there is just too much bad news for anyone to be pushing more, even in fun.  Anyway who ever said that April Fools Day was fun anyway?

The Five Worst April Fools’ Jokes

It does seem that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket when you read this story from France. I always think that the French, if they don’t get anything else right are masterful in appreciating the beauty of the feminine form. France is the center of fashion and couture and French women are known for their beauty and culture. But today we hear that a French Mayor has banned a bust of the French heroine Maryanne for — being too busty. Next thing you know he’ll be demanding that she wear a burka. I’m afraid that it is all over for France.

French mayor upset about statue’s breasts

Back in the US, there is speculation that the attack of gibberish-speaking TV commentators is not a random happening; It may be caused by the government’s experiments in mind control. Speculation is that the Tea Party revolution has so unnerved the government that it has upped the level of mind control activity to countermand it and the increased babbling of TV hosts is the consequence. Previously, only politicians were receiving high enough doses to babble and the public became so accustomed to political speak that it became an accepted commonplace. Now that it is affecting entertainment, the government is beginning to worry that somebody will notice that nobody is thinking clearly and can’t talk straight. This Coot is thinking that  It may be time for that tin-foil helmet.

Are U.S. government microwave mind-control tests causing TV presenters’ brains to melt down?

Speaking of the government, it’s all you can do these days to avoid hearing about cutting government extravagance so it is nice to hear a story that proves that the government can get good value for those tax dollars they pry from our hands each April. Take the Pentagon, for example, full of military and civilian workers with only one purpose- the protection of American citizens and the American way of life. With this daunting task, anything that can lighten that work burden and brighten the heavy labor involved is good. So I am happy to learn about the Gurgling Toad Sculpture that on the way. $600,000 was never so well spent.

Pentagon Art: $600,000 Gurgling Toad Sculpture

But there is more good news to share. Thankfully, we aren’t getting nearly so many stories from Japan clogging our media and once in a while there is a happy story like this one. Rescuers have found a dog floating in the ocean in a nearly submerged house nearly three weeks after bin swept into the sea. No word about the dog’s owners or what the dog ate during the ordeal.

Safe and hound: Tsunami dog found alive and well in Japan after THREE WEEKS adrift at sea on a floating house

And finally this week a new cook book that can help you apply technology to your cooking. Want to take your culinary mastery to a new level/ This book will teach you tricks that even Bobby Flay doesn’t know.

Vacuum Sealing for the Everyday Cook

So that’s the Coot’s News Service update for April 3, 2011. I hope you survived April Fools Day and are ready for the Spring weather that finally seems to be breaking out. Be sure to comments on any stories that you could do without and earn credit for your Associate Coot degree.