Nov 262014
 

This site is not going to tell you not to blog.

We also are not going to blow smoke at you and keep filling your little head with dreams of getting rich quick while eating ice cream in your underwear and only working for an hour a day.  Not including bathroom breaks.

We are also not going to give you advice on how to blog, how to set up a site or how to run it into the ground.  We are not going to tell you, well we probably will tell you how neat we are.  The Consortium of Coots is pretty neat.  Don’t forget it or I will crash your system.

This site is to tell stories and vent grievences.  To tell how it is without regard for anyones feelings.  If your feelbads get hurt while you are here, then you probably do not belong her in the first place.  How’s that for Cantankerous.

This site exists to be something a bit different in Blogistan.  Maybe like your strange Uncle that shows up to the family reunions and just lurks in the corner waiting to regale the young ones with stories of the past.

I intend to post Manly topics like skinning game and setting snares.  Topics that will make strong men weep freely like the loss of a good dog or the benefits of duct tape and zip ties.

If you are easily offended, get out.  If you want to be offended and argue, bring it on.  Comments are always available and contact forms abound on the site.  My email is justin@cantankerousoldcoots.com.

Just be aware, comments and contention will probably lead to a guest post request so get something ready.

That is all.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Nov 262014
 

Sorry Ralph…sorry Justin…but the numbers are in, and they only look good for me.

**Congrats Bob, here is your award…Justin

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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Nov 262014
 

I can’t begin to understand where Justin gets his ideas but it is even harder to understand what is going on in our readers minds- or lack thereof.  This month they demand that we write Haiku.  Go figure.

I could write an essay about haiku and prepare pointers for mastering the fine art or haiku writing but that might expose the fact that I don’t know crap about Japanese poetry.  So I’m just going to cut to the chaise today and write haiku for your appreciation.  Readers are going to have to read them and then decided whether or not to weep.    But lets up the ante here.  If I’ve got to write haiku, then it is only fair that readers should have to respond in haiku as well.  After all, I didn’t vote for haiku.  Don’t ever let anybody tell you that decisions don’t have consequences.  Then I ask you to vote for your favorite haiku.

Haiku Number 1

Snowy mountain tops

Spring flowers blooming riot

California

Haiku Number 2

Spring-rain soaked ground

Undermines peaceful homestead

Sweet gum tree attacks


Haiku Number 3

Boring, routine day

Take the road less traveled

Be cantankerous


Haiku Number 4

Kid cacophony

Stay at home dad conundrum

Sound the kettlebell!

So that my haiku contribution for today.  If you want to guess the inspiration for each poem, give it your best shot and remember to vote for your favorite and lets have those comments in the form of haiku.

What is your favorite of today's haiku?

  • Haiku 3 (67%, 2 Votes)
  • Haiku 4 (33%, 1 Votes)
  • Haiku 1 (0%, 0 Votes)
  • Haiku 2 (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 3

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Haiku-apps

Haiku-apps (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Sep 022014
 
up arrow
Image by TheTruthAbout… via Flickr

Maybe you think that we are too negative at Coots.  All the time you keep hearing about things we don’t like.  You might conclude that Coots are never positive and that we don’t like things.  You would be very wrong but to be fair – how would you know.  After long conferences  and much cantankerosity, the Coots have a solution.  We are going to show you our positive sides from time to time.  We are going to title these posts ‘Up With” and in them we will highlight things that we like and want to see more of.  Look for the first of these posts soon and then expect to see more of them from time to time.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 292014
 

*** since this post was first published there have been 233270 visitors to it.  There have been a total of ZERO submissions.  c’mon people get on the ball…send us your face!***

Now hear this Current and aspiring Coots!  Very shortly we are going to be putting out our first product.  I know that is exciting enough to make you all pee yourselves with excitement.  You may want to get a doctor to look at that though.  Don’t worry in any case because that’s why they make Depends.

So far we haven’t got a lot of participation  here at COC.  So since you refuse to respond to the sticks we throw, we are going to break out the carrots just this once.  We want your face!  And we are offering a prize for the best face.  There!  That is as nice as we get.

What does your best Cantankerous Coot face look like?

By now you should have mastered the basics for Cantankerosity or maybe you were a natural and had what it takes all along.  It doesn’t matter because we want to see the results.  Show us your best Coot face.  Take a picture and if it doesn’t break the camera send it to us.  We want to see the Cantankerosity that we have inspired.  We want to use your faces in out upcoming E-Book and at the blog. You could be famous.

So scrunch up your face and practice your cantankerousness.  Little children should either laugh or weep at the face you finish with.  Preferably both.  Then take the best picture you can and send it to us.  This contest will end at midnight on July 10th MDT when we get enough submissions to actually have a contest.  Right now, there is all the time in the world You have until next Saturday night to get us a picture.

There will be a prize for the best picture.  That prize will remain a mystery until the contest ends.

Send entries to    contests@cantankerousoldcoots.com Please include your name, address, credit card numbers, pin numbers, measurements,….errrr….Just your name and the picture will be fine.

Now for some fine print.  Any image submitted must be your own image.  We don’t want copyrighted images from other websites that will get us in trouble with the copyright lawyers when we start to sell our own stuff.  Besides we want to see you, our readers.

Second, by submitting an image for the contest you agree that we can do what we want with it.  This includes the website, CantankerousOldCoots.com, and any e-book or print book that we may publish in the future.  Your only compensation for the picture will be a credit to you and probably a link to your own site.

Third, By submitting a picture, you agree that, to the best of your knowledge, this picture does not have any previous copyrights that are being infringed.  If you take the pic yourself, it shouldn’t have any copyright issues at all.

Fourth, unless you tell me not to add you to the list, by submitting a picture you will be automatically added to our email list and be among the first to receive the new e-book when it comes out, and if you are the winner, it will have your picture on it.  You will not be getting a double opt-in confirmation email from us, but unless it says somewhere in your picture email that you don’t want to be on the list, you will be, and this constitutes permission to do so.

Sorry for all of the legal mumbo jumbo but I really can’t afford to get sued by anyone for a silly website contest.

So go out right now and take a picture, preferably in focus, and send it to

contests@cantankerousoldcoots.com

Remember, you have until the sands run out on July 10th to submit!  I hope we can get 1000 entries.  Tell your friends too!

Please retweet, digg, stumble upon, comment, carrier pigeon, morse code or otherwise let people know about this contest!

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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