April Fools Day |

Hey! It’s April Fools Day! What a Load of Crap.

Posted by Justin at 11:48 Plain 'ol Cantankerous, rants

Nov 262014

Hey Folks, Justin here. I am coming to you live on what is one of the stupidest holidays in the entire world. April Fools Day. Informal though it may be, why do we still bother to “celebrate” something that most of the world doesn’t even truly know the origins of? It seems there was a reference to it in Canterbury Tales back in 1392 that was badly translated and people were made to endure a full day of pranks and foolishness.

By the way kids, (notice I didn’t use that horrific BTW that has become so friggin’ popular. That is a whole ‘nother rant) back in 527 AD Byzantine Emperor Justinian delcared that on April 2nd all Justin’s in the world should have homage paid and gifts of “gold, silver and precious things in great quantity.” Check it out, that is tomorrow, I will just wait for all of the good things to roll in.

You see, that actually sound legit (almost) even though I made the whole thing up. Much like April Fool’s Day. My wife is currently preparing devious deceptions to taunt the kids with. She loves it. My kids love to play pranks and “get mom and dad”. I don’t get it. I have never really gotten it. I don’t care to play pranks for the most part. If I want to make someone look silly I can use words better than some silly prank.

So if you are into pranks, go for it. Just know that there are some people out there who really don’t give the rear cavity of a rat about it.

On another note, Congrats again to Hansi for earning his degree from the Cantankerous Old Coots University. he is now qualified to teach Cantankerosity and is an adjunct professor. We will be featuring his first lesson next Tuesday, April 5.

And for the theme writing contest. We have a clear winner this month with 4 votes to the 2 everything else got. The topic that we will be writing on for the week of April 4th to April 8th is, (drumroll please) is, (no really, a drumroll here is appropriate) fine, with no drumroll the topic is Haiku. We will just have to see what splendid and fascinating things that we can write about a simple Japanese Poem.

So that will be all today, go out and do something cantankerous. Maybe just scream at someone who tries to pull a prank on you, or really fly off of the handle and make them cry. That will be my goal, make a prankster cry. Unfortunately, the only ones who will be around to pull pranks are the kids, and homework and chores make them cry anyway. Good thing my new sink doesn’t have the separate sprayer anymore.

Thanks for reading, how are you going to get through today?

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

CNS Followup- Are you a winner?

Posted by Ralph at 12:48 Plain 'ol Cantankerous

Sep 122012

It’s the moment of reckoning.

An April fool in Denmark, regarding Copenhagen's new subway.

So now to find out which story is fake, Iv’e linked the stories to the headlines from yesterday. Click your pick and see if you are a winner.

Man claims attack by lion, saved by a bear

Predator Shocks Jogger

$5 FOOTLONGS CUT SHORT IN SAN FRANCISCO

432 Park Avenue Will Reach 1,397 Feet, Taller Even Than the World Trade Center

Happy April Fools day from all the Coots.

Hank D and the Bee: April Fool (ecochildsplay.com)

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Coots News Service-April Fools Edition

Posted by Ralph at 03:18 Headline News

Apr 012012

Have you been fooled today?

sporting index april fool (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

Don’t feel let down or left out because the Coot’s News Service is here to help with our April Fools Day Edition of CNS- Headline News.

It’s April Fools Day.

To celebrate the Coots News Service presents a plethora of stories today. I can’t help loving that word plethora. It is so much fun to mouth that laws should be passed to make sure people use it frequently. It means ‘ a bunch of’ so make a note to self that every time you think about saying ‘a bunch of’ you say plethora instead. Your mouth will thank you and your friends will be impressed at your erudition. But I digress.

Moving along to the news, my original thought was to make up a news story in honor of the day and then confess at the end that it was merely an April Fools joke. What I discovered is that making up a news story is hard work so today’s post is a compromise. Only one of the stories today is made up. The task for our faithful readers this April Fools Day is to guess which story is false and the reason you know it to be false. There is a bonus for identifying the true story contributed by our very own Coot, Bob who, uncharacteristically put in extra hours this week.

So examine these headlines carefully. There will be no links to the news stories since those links would reveal which story is a fake. Instead post your guess in the comments and then check back tomorrow to find out if you are correct. The winner will receive a certificate of honorary Coot-hood and an interview by yours truly so don’t miss this opportunity for fame.

Now for the stories.

The first story involves animals, actually several animals attacking a lone hiker.

Man claims attack by lion, saved by a bear

In the second story we have a jogger threatened by a predatory animal

Predator Shocks Jogger

The third story tells how the Subway Foot-long has become an endangered species in San Francisco

$5 FOOTLONGS CUT SHORT IN SAN FRANCISCO

And finally, a developer in New York City plans an apartment building taller than the World Trade Center.

432 Park Avenue Will Reach 1,397 Feet, Taller Even Than the World Trade Center

Put on your thinking caps and tell me which of the stories is a fake. Bonus points tie-breaker if you can tell which story was contributed by Bob. Check back tomorrow for the answer and discover who is our next honorary Coot.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Coot’s News Service- April Fools Day Edition

Posted by Ralph at 05:12 Headline News

Aug 242011

Image via Wikipedia

April Fools Day is past and this Coot is just fine with that. Who dreamed up that idea anyway? Justin claims that Chaucer was the guy but how would you know. My high school English teacher always claimed that the Canterbury Tales was written in English but you couldn’t prove it by me. You could claim that Chaucer discovered relativity and get away with it. Anyway, whether Chaucer thought it up or not, April Fools Day is past and we got off pretty easy this year. Maybe there is just too much bad news for anyone to be pushing more, even in fun. Anyway who ever said that April Fools Day was fun anyway?

The Five Worst April Fools’ Jokes

It does seem that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket when you read this story from France. I always think that the French, if they don’t get anything else right are masterful in appreciating the beauty of the feminine form. France is the center of fashion and couture and French women are known for their beauty and culture. But today we hear that a French Mayor has banned a bust of the French heroine Maryanne for — being too busty. Next thing you know he’ll be demanding that she wear a burka. I’m afraid that it is all over for France.

French mayor upset about statue’s breasts

Back in the US, there is speculation that the attack of gibberish-speaking TV commentators is not a random happening; It may be caused by the government’s experiments in mind control. Speculation is that the Tea Party revolution has so unnerved the government that it has upped the level of mind control activity to countermand it and the increased babbling of TV hosts is the consequence. Previously, only politicians were receiving high enough doses to babble and the public became so accustomed to political speak that it became an accepted commonplace. Now that it is affecting entertainment, the government is beginning to worry that somebody will notice that nobody is thinking clearly and can’t talk straight. This Coot is thinking that It may be time for that tin-foil helmet.

Are U.S. government microwave mind-control tests causing TV presenters’ brains to melt down?

Speaking of the government, it’s all you can do these days to avoid hearing about cutting government extravagance so it is nice to hear a story that proves that the government can get good value for those tax dollars they pry from our hands each April. Take the Pentagon, for example, full of military and civilian workers with only one purpose- the protection of American citizens and the American way of life. With this daunting task, anything that can lighten that work burden and brighten the heavy labor involved is good. So I am happy to learn about the Gurgling Toad Sculpture that on the way. $600,000 was never so well spent.

Pentagon Art: $600,000 Gurgling Toad Sculpture

But there is more good news to share. Thankfully, we aren’t getting nearly so many stories from Japan clogging our media and once in a while there is a happy story like this one. Rescuers have found a dog floating in the ocean in a nearly submerged house nearly three weeks after bin swept into the sea. No word about the dog’s owners or what the dog ate during the ordeal.

Safe and hound: Tsunami dog found alive and well in Japan after THREE WEEKS adrift at sea on a floating house

And finally this week a new cook book that can help you apply technology to your cooking. Want to take your culinary mastery to a new level/ This book will teach you tricks that even Bobby Flay doesn’t know.

Vacuum Sealing for the Everyday Cook

So that’s the Coot’s News Service update for April 3, 2011. I hope you survived April Fools Day and are ready for the Spring weather that finally seems to be breaking out. Be sure to comments on any stories that you could do without and earn credit for your Associate Coot degree.