Down with Aging

 Posted by at 11:01  Down with
Feb 232015
 

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

Kitty O’Neill Collins

Old age is a catastrophe.

There isn’t anything desirable about it. People aren’t like fine wine. They don’t get better, they only persevere. Even so, the world is full of Pollyanna’s concocting wonderful sounding benefits from aging. Those fools believe the hype ginned up to keep us from facing the truth. They will find out soon enough that it’s all a pile of crap. Aging sucks!

You don’t get wiser. You don’t get better looking. You don’t even get respect. You just get old. Nothing works like it used to. Your body sags and bags where it used to bulge and flex. Still aging is the best alternative available. As much as your quality of life deteriorates with aging, nobody wants to throw in the towel. People cling to life and accept aging even as they search for validation. Take me, for example. I don’t even feel like a grown-up yet.

Old-ageWhen do I get the secret handshake that tells me I’m grown-up? Sure I am old but looks aren’t everything. Just because the years pass doesn’t mean that your mind goes along. I have always felt a disconnect between my chronological age and the way I feel. Just reaching 21 and being able to buy a drink didn’t make me feel like a grown up. Heck, I’m still waiting for the special handshake that lets me know I’m an adult. I’ve been waiting for this a long time. Most of the time I am just as confused and insecure as a kid about what to do. It’s all I just put up a front and hope no one will notice. Continue reading »

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Up with Memory Loss

 Posted by at 18:09  Up With
Jul 292014
 
To Do List

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” Rita Mae Brown

There are some good things about getting old. You get better at rationalization.  At least when things start not working so well, you make an effort to discover something that is better about your life these days. It’s a challenge but aging is not for the weak. Survivors do whatever it takes and become experts at rationalization.

Crutches can help

Memory is one of the things that doesn’t work so well these days. Witness the lists scattered all around my house in my attempt to keep control of everything. But lists don’t fix everything.  Lists don’t help remembering what name goes with the familiar, smiling face at the supermarket as I struggle to find clues about who this person is. Mostly I hurry on after saying ‘Nice to see you again.’ but there is always the nagging thought that maybe I really do want to talk to them if I only knew who they were. It would be nice if that brain could still remember everyone I know and keep me current on all my responsibilities. Sadly, my brain seems to be in retirement mode also and it only works when it wants to. But that is not so bad as you think.

The good side of memory loss

It turns out that there are benefits to not remembering things. The old coot member (this is clearly a Freudian slip.  Should have been memory of course) may be failing but it is not as bad as you might think. People don’t expect much from you anyway. What makes it sweet it that everybody gives you a pass because you’re old. Forgot to pick up your wife at the doctor? No problem because everybody is re leaved that you managed to get home at all. Don’t recognize that face with the hand reaching out to shake yours? No problem because you do remember that he loaned you money last week. When you get old, people just expect you to forget so why not make it work for you?

Eliminate what you don’t like to do

Take control of your life like never before by eliminating everything you don’t want to do. After all, you’re old and nobody expects you to remember things so help them out. Only remember what you want to do. All you need to say when somebody asks is that you forgot. They can’t hold you accountable for the aging process. You get a pass. When the expectations are below ground level, just showing up makes every body happy.

*******Since you readers seem to have forgotten the invitation of past posts and completely ignored the Cantankerous Old Coots University, I will chalk to up to short term memory loss and give you all another chance.  Sign up for our mailing list and receive the first few lessons of the Cantankerous Old Coots University absolutely free.  You will also be signed up for future mailings and special offerings.  If you join us before September 7th, you will be eligible for a big discount on the whole Cantankerous Old Coots University course.  If you don’t, I have your IP address…..I’m just sayin’…..

-Justin






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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook