Damn those Astrologists

 Posted by at 11:03  Down with
Feb 232015
 
Leo Symbol
Image via Wikipedia

Who can you trust?

The world as I know it is crumbling. All around me the bedrock foundations upon which I have built my existence low these many years is under attack. You would think that at my advanced age, I’d have learned to roll with the punches but Newton’s laws seem to have a hold on personal development just as tenacious as on physical bodies. Seventy years of inertia is hard to buck.

First I lost Pluto

First, I have to confess that I am still reeling at the revelation that Pluto is not a planet. I grew up with the comforting knowledge that our sun has nine planets. The revisionist notion that Pluto is too insignificant to belong to the club shook me to the core.I it is just like the school bullies when I was a kid, who mocked and threatened the class runt and made him cower near the teacher during recess. What happened to equal opportunity? Is size the only thing that matters? Maybe I should respond to that email.

And then there is Ophiuchus

But back to the Zodiac. Now the same anal retentive pedants who demoted Pluto have attacked Astrology. They tell us to make room for another constellation- Ophiuchus.  This hits harder and deeper at the core of my being because it undermines my very identity. I reached my adult life in the 60’s and learned that my life was a reflection of my Astrological sign. A big part of the dating game (or rutting dance, if you prefer) was to exchange Astrological signs. Instantly you knew if tonight was the night or to continue cruising. Fortunately for me those days are past.

Because of Astrology, I knew who I was; what I was capable of; and what not to try. I was a Virgo. I was a good manager of life (mostly other peoples lives), not emotive but very caring. I was the quiet sensitive guy taking it all in. Life was simple. Just read the label and Ralph was easy. Now, I learn that it was all a mistake. The stars have shifted possibly during the 60’s when we celebrated the Age of Aquarius. It seems the sneaky Babylonians demoted an important constellation arbitrarily because they disliked the number 13. The result of this revisionism is that today I learn that I am really a Leo. And I don’t have a clue who I am anymore.

I have been living a lie.

Trying to play catchup, I read that Leo’s are the center of attention, charming all with their wit and wisdom. Leo’s are suckers for flattery. They will do anything for attention and get quite angry when they don’t get it. Leo’s are the people I always hated for their shallow intellects and needy natures. How could I have gotten myself so wrong? And now what do I do about it?

So now what?

After being duped and mislead by incompetent Astrologists for all these years, it is hard to face the reality that I have been living a lie, stomping down my outgoing Leo nature to fit an introspective Virgo image. Who can tell how that handicapped my life or what I might have achieved had I know my true sign. But it’s all too late now. Too late to run for President or conquer cable TV. And it is all the fault of incompetent Astrologists and my naive belief and trust in authority figures. Let that be a lesson for you young whippersnappers out there. Don’t get suckered into thinking you are are a Virgo when, in fact, you are a Leo. Don’t screw up your entire life living the wrong astrological sign. Don’t let yourself in for a wasted life as a left foot in a right shoe like I have. Find out who you really are and go with the flow. And now that I know who I am, want to party?

Yes, you CAN make a difference. Here is proof.

 Posted by at 11:03  Bob's Politics, principles, rants, videos
Feb 232015
 

I rail about government quite a bit.  It is a really easy thing to do if you believe in the United States and the vision the founding fathers had for it…and if you believe in the rule of law as set down in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, along with subsequent amendments.

One thing I often hear…and that I find quite irritating…is the statement that, “I don’t do anything because it does no good.  Washington only pays attention to lobbyists and big doners.  The people have no chance.”

Bullshit.George Washington's 1788 letter to the Marquis...

OK…so we DO have to work a little harder than we would if we had elected officials that KNEW we were their bosses, not the other way around.  Well…a little hard work never hurt anyone, and we brought it on ourselves anyway, by sitting on the couch with a beer and chips and watching football and American Idol instead of paying attention to what was happening to our country.

So, now we get off our asses and take our country back from the communists.

Yes, I said communists.  With very rare exception…and to those exceptions, I apologize

…our elected officials in Washington fall into two groups:  Communists and cowards.  One group wants to destroy our constitutional republic, and the other group doesn’t have the balls to stop them.  Well,,,you and I, backing them up, can help some of them grow a pair.

And yes…your voice DOES make a difference, as the video proves:

Link to the Daily Caller story
Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

When the Old overtakes Cantankerous

 Posted by at 11:03  Coot Smirk, Plain 'ol Cantankerous, principles, Reflections
Feb 232015
 

Well hello there!  I know at least 2 of our regular readers just fell off of their chairs when they saw that I had written this article and not Ralph.  It has been a long time since this site has been much of anything except Ralph’s other blog.  But fear not!  Ralph is not the only one ready to Cantankerify your brains.  I have grand plans of a series about Mother in Law’s that has taken a month to get the venom out of.  More on that to come.

Yes

Cover of Yes

So gentle readers I am back.  And here is what I have noticed.  One of the key words for this site is Old.  Yes, old.  And I am getting old.  Granted, I am almost 38 and in the grand scheme of things, that is not considered old.  These days, even Bob and Ralph are not really considered old, retired or not.  But, I am getting old.

Long time readers of any of my blogs (links here to my other blogs…..well maybe not) know that 5 years ago my 1 year old daughter ended up in kidney failure.  2 years of dialysis, a kidney transplant, and 3 years later we took her on a Make A Wish Trip to Disney World(can’t help that link it is the whole trip).  That whole experience during those 5 years aged me.  Enough to be a viable member off this blog, even if not old yet.

Life has thrown me some cement curve balls the past couple of years and I can’t catch very well.  So I have been knocked down bleeding, but I still have managed to stand back up.  But it ages me further.  So here I sit, with 4 kids growing up, a pile of bills (that could really use some help from you if you happen to be shopping at Amazon.  Just click to Amazon through my link over there in the sidebar.  Thanks.)  an attitude that is becoming more and more cantankerous, and a body that just feels old.

Ralph is always jealous of the sweet music that emanates from the kettlebells.   I still like using the things but my rapidly aging body keeps telling me to slow down.  I have finally got my elbow back to useful after 2 weeks.  And then there are the grey hairs, and the unwanted ear hair that my wife seems to find great pleasure in curling with her fingernails if I don’t get it trimmed fast enough.

(St Mary and St Barlok)Monument to Sir Ralph F...

(St Mary and St Barlok)Monument to Sir Ralph Fitzherbert,d.1483,and his wife:detail of tomb-chest. Ralph’s children are shown on the side of the tomb. first three are Richard, Thomas and John – this is John who was Ralph’s heir. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And the need for sleep.  And it goes on and on.  And it will not end until someone is nailing shut my pine box.  One of the most disturbing things that my wife and I have been looking at over the past little while is what to do with our kids if something happens to both of us.  That is a, well necessary thing but good hell it is depressing.  And then looking at life insurance for both of us, and on the kids.  Not to mention retirement savings.

As much as I hate thinking about it, one of these days, hopefully about 65 years in the future, I will be gone.  My kids will need that life insurance to pay for the funeral or at least the dynamite to blow me up with.  And maybe they will have a bit left over at the end.  There is insurance for that as well.  Now I am bumming myself out.

We all get older.  in reality it all happens at the same rate.  There are still 365.25 days in a year and the years go by one after the other.  The adage is still true, “The only certainties in life are Death And Taxes.”  And they will tax the hell out of you when you die.  Bah.  I need to get with Ralph and have him teach me how to not feel so old.  But for now, I have kids to raise.  16 more years and the wife and I are buying a 1958 Corvette  2 seater and cruising the country….sans kids.

I had better get writing, but first some liniment and a nap…..in the middle ages I would be an old man…and most days lately, I feel like it.

What about all of you out there reading this?  How do you feel?

Anyway, here is to more blog post from someone other than Ralph, as much as we love his take on things.

-Justin

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

Coot Lesson 4- Say It When You Feel It!

 Posted by at 11:03  Coot Law, Coots Lessons, principles
Feb 232015
 

Coots Lesson #4: Say It When You Feel It.

We don’t Worry.

Are you one of those people who worry about being “politically correct”?  Do you always think out what you want to say before you say it?  Do you get home later and say to yourself “I should have said….”

Well then this lesson is for you.  In the pursuit of Cantankerousness, there is not much room for political correctness.  As Ralph has so eloquently said in the past, polite is a euphemism for a lie.  This is the same for the political correctness BS that is so prevalent in our society.

Let It Out!

There is way too much self editing these days.  Too many times we have to stop our tongues so that we don’t offend people.  Well that is over and done with.  In the continuous pursuit of being a better person I now believe that the best thing to do is just say what comes to your mind.

Lose that internal filter that clogs up with what you “should” say, and just say what you mean.  It may anger people but shooting straight is the best way to deal with society as a whole.  Keep your lies and your equivocations; quit pandering to people who don’t really mean anything to you.

Don’t keep it bottled up.

If the time is right to give any said SOB the MapQuest directions to Hell, so be it.  Tell people what you think right then and there.  If you keep it bottled up you will probably end up killing someone.  While that may seem attractive at the time, it will only land you in jail and keep you from voting or owning a gun.  Telling people what you think right then won’t land you in jail most of the time.  Slander is another post altogether.

So here is today’s homework: if somebody pisses you off, tell them.  Don’t just sit around and mutter, tell them off in a loud and clear voice that leaves no room for doubt.  Like our good friend Howard Beal did, stand up and say, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”  Don’t take it.  Give it.  You are well on your way to being a Cantankerous Old Coot.

Down with – Conservation

 Posted by at 11:03  Down with
Feb 232015
 

It started with Carter

It all started with that old anal retentive bastard Jimmy Carter. If you don’t remember the smug old know-it-all in his Mr. Rogers sweater scolding us all about waste and irresponsibility, then you are younger than 50 and have probably been brainwashed from birth to believe that we live in a limited world and that conservation is our only hope. We sent the old nag packing in 1981 freeing him up to build houses for losers but the cancer he started has metastasized into every aspect of today’s society.

It is all your fault.

Brush your teeth with the water running and you are an inconsiderate sob. Want to drive a car that is actually fun to drive? If you do then you are a gas hog. Would you like to be comfortably warm in the winter and cool in the summer? If you do then you are killing the planet. Like your green lawn? You are the cause of the salmon shortage and the imminent extinction of the Delta smelt, you selfish dolt.

I’m fed up

At every turn we are scolded about our waste and selfishness. Well, I’m fed up with conservation and like Howard Beal, I’m not going to take it any more. It is un-American. It is antithetical to our country’s history and destiny. The US was founded on unbridled optimism. The sky is the limit. Nothing is impossible. Today that is all changed. We are afraid of our shadows. We believe that the world is limited. There is not enough of everything we need whether it is energy, water, oil, air or food. It is so bad that unless we all channel Mother Teresa’s selflessness our world is doomed. Well I’m not buying it. I am channeling Howard Beal. I am fed up with lectures from self-righteous scolds who never created anything in their lives. There are no limits except the ones we set on ourselves. We can do and have what we want just like we always have. Unbridled American ingenuity will save the day just like it has in the past.

The sky is the only limit

Don’t buy the ‘sky is falling’ whining. Think there is a shortage of water? Bull crap! Two thirds of the earth is covered with the stuff and it’s miles deep. Think we are running out of oil? Bull crap again! We haven’t come close to exhausting the known reserves which continue to grow. We just won’t drill for it. Are we running out of electricity? Build some more power plants. The only limited resources that challenge us are the stunted brains of our worthless politicians. That is what we have elections for.

Go for it.  We’ll make more.

Want a fast car? A thirsty lawn? A cool house? Some more Doritos? Go for it. This is America and just like Jay says. “We can make more.”

 Older Entries  Newer Entries