Cantankerous Old Coots

Coot’s News Service-February 12, 2012 Venice is freezing!

Posted by Ralph at 09:38 Headline News

Feb 122012

Your reporter is distracted!

Image via Wikipedia

There may be news this week but it is getting hard to focus. With just two weeks to go before the big trip, much as this Coot tries to take care of business, my mind keeps wandering. Going out of country for the first time in 40 years just keeps me off kilter. Not that there is much more I can do. The reservations are made. Most of the details have been at least considered but there still remain those doubts that always come along when you do something for the first time. Sure it’s going to be fine. Everybody involved will be happy to see that we get where we are going and make it easy to do what tourists do best- spend money. Still, human nature being what it is, those questions keep forming.

Of course if we knew it all then there wouldn’t be any sense of adventure. The trip to Venice would be just as boring as the morning commute. It is the unknowns as we anticipate this adventure that keep the mind engaged. Flying to Venice is probably just as mundane as flying to Des Moines, cramped seating, lousy food and two transfers. What’s not to like?

But what about the news?

So with my current state of distraction the search for news stories has become even harder. There just isn’t much uplifting news this week and more to the point, Europe is freezing to death. Even worse, the epicenter of this unprecedented cold snap is centered on Venice where we will be vacationing. Somehow the cosmos seems to be confusing the Carlson’s with Al Gore. This whole cold spell started with the big meeting in Davos earlier this month where the honchos gather to decide what to do about us peons. Anyway, those Davos folk are fixated on Global Warming and it seems that mother nature always tries to straighten them when they gather. Al’s ability to cause cold weather when he speaks about global warming is legendary but this is his most monumental impact so far. The problem is, it threatens to hamper our vacation. Frost bite in Venice? How romantic.

Ice clogs the canals of Venice, Italy

We knew that Venice wouldn’t be balmy in March when we rented the apartment but the average temperatures didn’t look bad. Winter in Venice is how you avoid the tourists and see how Venetians live. After all we would arrive just after Carnivale, one of Venice’s big events. Surely he place wouldn’t be shut down. And we rationalized that it couldn’t really get cold in the Mediterranean. We were wrong. It’s cold.

European freeze may last to end of February

Current forecasts predict warming at the end of February, just in time for our arrival in Venice so we have our fingers crossed. Spring has to come sometime. It might as well be March.

Travel Like a Coot

Posted by Ralph at 04:12 principles

Feb 082012

Life’s a bitch..and then you die!

Coot Kiss (Photo credit: stewartmorris)

Heaven knows that the lifestyle of a Cantankerous Old Coot isn’t easy. It might seem glamorous and all but fame and fortune don’t come without a price. And then there is actually living up to the title. You have to be on your toes every minute, With all those messages urging you to take the well-worn path of ordinary, charting your own course through life takes determined and dogged commitment. You have to fight the urges to just settle for what everybody else does and do something special. Travel is no exception.

Travel these days means cruises. You can’t avoid the commercials showing happy people eating or playing on cruise ships. It’s like water torture except with pretty pictures. It is so hard to resist. What’s not to like? Lots of food in exotic locals while you are safely isolated from any of the harsh realities of actually visiting a foreign country, trying to understand a foreign language and deal with a foreign culture. You are quarantined in luxurious digs surrounded by shlubs just like you. And you have a crew whose job is to make sure you are happy while you float through alien cultures without ever having to engage. And did I mention the food?

Disclaimer.

SAN DIEGO - NOVEMBER 11: Stranded Carnival Spl...

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

OK, I confess that this Coot has never been on a cruise. I have been tempted by the commercials just like everyone else. I feel the call of all that fun, all that service and the promise of 24 hour food service. Even a committed Coot finds it difficult to resist the Siren call of the seven day cruise to paradise. In spite of everything, however, this Coot is still a cruise virgin and it’s not so much from my own inner strength as from that of my wife who has an overwhelming fear of any endeavor designed to make her happy. Logic tells her that the parties involved are either very sick or have some ulterior motive.

I think this probably comes from exposure to the Love Boat TV show back in the day but that is just my guess. I’ve invested a life-time in trying to understand my wife and I am still a long way from mastery. The best I can manage is to accept that I’ve have inexplicably got myself a good thing and to avoid doing anything that messes it up. So it is that the Carlson’s have escaped cruise mania.

So how does a committed Coot travel?

Engage in a new culture

Cruises may be off the table but still what’s the point of retirement if it means staying home and staring at the walls? Waiting around to die is so unsatisfying. Any Coot worth his salt wants new experiences to sweeten the wait. Not the empty calories of a seven day cruise or a Caribbean resort but something with high fiber and micro nutrients to feed the soul. No pre-digested travel pablum will satisfy a real Coot. Coots need to engage real life in a foreign clime.

So what is our plan?

The goal is to immerse ourselves into life in some exotic locale and avoid the tourist mentality by learning what real life is all about in a foreign land. So to start, we picked a city we would love to know better and rented an apartment. Two weeks is not enough to become a native but it is surely long enough to test the practicality of our plan. If we start longing for our old conventional lifestyle before our visit is over then maybe a cruise is all we want out of life. On the other hand if two weeks only tells us how much there is left to explore then we are ready for Plan B- a month or two for the next trip.

Sometimes you just need a good Rant!

Posted by Justin at 04:05 rants

Feb 052012

This made me laugh very hard.

It is from Duckman, not a show I watch most of the time, but this is a great rant about the human condition.

Plus it is voiced by Jason Alexander, you know, George from Seinfeld.

Something to make you smile for the weekend.

Happy Mother’s Day if your into that sort of thing.

Until Next time:

CNS for February 5, 2012- Baby it’s cold!

Posted by Ralph at 04:05 Headline News

Feb 052012

Ready for Superbowl?

Image via Wikipedia

The media are preoccupied this week with the Superbowl. So what’s the big deal? After a season of football,it’s all pared down to two teams. One team will win and the other won’t. One city will celebrate and the other won’t. When it’s all over, what difference does it make, especially if you don’t live in the Northeast. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll watch the game while I cook some treats for the half-time break. I don’t know if I’m up for Madonna. We may just cut out for the Puppy Bowl or the Law and Order SVU Marathon.

Despite all the hype, the Superbowl is just another football game. Most of them aren’t even good football. There is lots of news related to the spectacle but none of it really matters. It’s just empty calories like the food served at the Superbowl Parties.. So this week the Coots News Service is skipping the Superbowl for news that is important. Global Warming be damned. Europe is freezing to death.

No End in Sight for European Deep Freeze

So what good is Global Warming if we all freeze to death?

Now that we know that Global Warming is a fact, winter is nothing more than a word. When my wife and I planned our trip to Europe, we quickly dismissed any concerns about visiting in Winter. Winter is so old fashioned. Besides, since we were visiting Venice, how cold could it really get on the water? After all we hear about the wonderful Mediterranean climate how could there be a problem.

Venice, Italy (NASA, International Space Station Science, 03/15/07) (Photo credit: NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center)

So we scheduled our time in Venice for the month of March right after Carnival.. No tourists and the weather shouldn’t be a problem, or so we thought. Then I started watching the weather. In January the nights were right at freezing and the days in the 40’s. It was making me nervous but after all we had two months and March is practically Spring. Then last week the temperatures started dropping. Nights were down below 20 and day-times just barely in the 30’s. Venice was beginning to seem like Chicago.

So this week, the CNS is preoccupied with that European cold snap and thinking about getting some long johns to take along. Global Warming may be a sure things but it is not doing anything to help our European trip.

Down With-People I Can’t Relate To Trying To Motivate Me

Posted by Gurl at 08:47 Down with, rants

Feb 032012

So, I picked up a couple of self help books today. I started reading and it really sounds like BOTH authors started off well to do. Maybe not rich, but (with the small amount I’ve been able to get into either) it surely seems like they don’t remember having done without–if they ever did!

Why would someone like me, who is trying to get off the ground from a broke ass place, even think they could tell me how I can make it???? I have VERY LITTLE to invest other than time and effort.

I am sick of people who really seem so far removed from who I am now trying to tell me I can make money this way or that way. Sure–they made MORE money with their efforts, but once you have money making money gets a touch easier I’d bet. You can make more when you have a bit to invest. When you can’t even afford the tools of the trade without juggling bills and stretching the dollar, its damn neigh impossible (or so it seems).

I want to find a story about someone who started from a place where they were going to charities to get the essentials paid while praying the not so essential stuff didn’t get cut off before their check (what ever type it might be) came in. I want a story about someone who made it despite being poorer than poor when it came to money. I don’t want they story to be one of over night success, I just want it to be real and from someone I can frigging relate to.

Maybe in a few years I will be writing that story, but until then…what the hell is someone like me supposed to do when they want someone to relate to that they can also look up to and learn from?

Maybe I am wrong and everyone one of these motivational writers and speakers started out when they were eating deer stew and thankful someone they knew had been kind enough to share the meat. Maybe they did start when they were juggling bills and praying to keep the utilities on plus one or two extras. Well..they need to tell THAT story as well as their successes in my opinion. Let the common man related to you. There are more lower middle class and poor people than there are middle upper class on up….Write something these people can relate to. Go find the stories that haven’t been written of those who’ve succeeded against such rough looking odds…and TELL them.

If you stay tuned long enough..I will write that story. The one where I succeed against all odds, and I will tell the ugly side of where I am starting from…and hope that someone like me will pick it up and find they can relate. Then I hope they take my story as motivation from them to get out there and do it themselves.

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