Down with Birthdays

 Posted by at 17:01  Down with
Jun 022014
 
birthday cake

This is Birthday Week at COC

This is turning into a heavy week here at COC and it is all because of birthdays. For some unknown reason both Justin and I have birthdays in the same week. Well I suppose that the reason is known but the synchronicity is a mystery. Who knew we were working with such a handicap.  Try to imaging two Virgo’s working together and you will get the picture.  Even though there is a small difference in our ages, we both have our cantankerous spirits to support the effort.  Justin admits to being a mere babe at 36 while I am a bit older.  I’ll just let the readers guess at my age.  I will even give you a clue.  I am not a boomer.

To party hearty – or not?

My birthday was Monday and it is all over now. No party. No cake. No presents. I did get two cards, one from my insurance agent and the other from my wife’ s broker. I think that tells everything you need to know about me.  Justin celebrates his on Friday and I am sure that it will be party central at his house so I am not expecting much out of him here at COC until next week.  He does love attention, however, so be sure to drop by his home base, ring his kettle bell, leave a comment and wish him well. At 36, he probably hasn’t yet realized that each year past 21 represents a decline in something although it is hard to notice what those somethings are until 40 or so – at least that’s they way I remember it. Besides thinking about your decline never makes you feel better.

Birthdays are for kids.

Each one is a happy event because it marks a progression toward the ideal of adulthood and control of your life. At least that is the fantasy that kids have about being a grown-up. Let them live in their fantasy world.  The truth will hit them soon enough.   A birthday is a day of recognition with a present or two and some very unhealthy food. No matter because youngsters can eat anything without worrying about health. All in all birthdays are pleasant events for kids.

But not for adults

After you reach drinking age, there is nothing much good to say about birthdays. Being one year older doesn’t help you one little bit. By the time you get to be my age, the last thing you want is another birthday. (Well let me qualify that a bit – continuing to live through another year is always good but recognizing that year is not.) I’m happy enough to be alive and kicking but there is no reason for anyone to know that that I’m even older than I was last year.

That’s my take on birthdays.

Don’t give me a party. Don’t buy me a present. Don’t rub it in that I have survived another year and look pretty good for my age. If you feel the compulsion to celebrate somebody’s birthday, focus on baby faced Justin. He is young enough to still be in denial about his imminent decline but with four kids, it won’t be long.

Jun 022014
 

Got my mojo working again.

I like the Christmas season. It’s great feeling those warm and wonderful urges to buy somebody a gift, eat too much and get all warm and fuzzy about those yearly roundups stuffed into Christmas cards. But enough is enough.

Back to reality.

mojoMost of the candy is gone, the leftovers are eaten and the packing trash hauled away. Slowly but surely, I can feel the old cantakerosity coming back. Last week I was worried that maybe it was gone for good and I would have to hang up the towel here at Cantankerous Old Coots. I have to confess that it is a great relief.

People age in different ways. Sometimes people age like a fine wine getting more and more mellow over time. Others take the wine of life experience and turn it into vinegar. Last month was making me worry that I was going out with a whimper. But now it seems there is still some vinegar left in this old Coot.

 How do I know?

You see after the euphoria about New Years and all the belated hoopla of the New Years Day bowl games the TV has finally gone back to regular news. At first it was a relief to listen to the pathetic drone of the interminal bad news but as I began to sift through all the drek I discovered something that really frosted my pumpkin. Those ridiculous Iowa caucuses are still not over.

It seems like years that the media have been talking about the Iowa caucuses. I had reached my limit long ago and was blissfully relieved when the seasonal stories pushed them into the background. “Surely nobody wants to know anything more about Iowa or the caucuses,” I kept thinking. But the networks believe otherwise. I guess if you live in the pathetic state Iowa, it’s your moment of glory. The moment when you get to make up for four years of neglect and abuse from the other 49 by inflicting your will on the political system.

 It’s not even an election.

It’s bad enough that we are stuck with Iowa setting the tone for the Presidential campaign but they can’t even manage a real election. They have this abomination called a caucus process where apparently you waylay unsuspecting voters over to your house and then harangue them into supporting your candidate. What are they afraid of in Iowa? Don’t they trust citizens to vote? It wouldn’t be so bad if it only affected Iowa. After all who cares about Iowa anyway? We can just build a fence to keep all the crazies in. The problem is letting them steer a course for the rest of us.

Been there.  Done that!

We’ve been down this road before, stuck with looser candidates, one of whom goes on to become President and drag us all down.

Anyway, I’m staying away from the TV until the dust settles and the damn caucuses are over. We will all be stuck with the damage of letting Iowa set our course but at leas I can forget about Iowa and what Iowans think for another four years. Blessed relief!

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Down with varmints

 Posted by at 17:01  Down with
Jun 022014
 

Don’t hurt Bambi

In the Northern California foothills, the varmint most discussed is deer. Bambi love on the part of the 99 percent of Americans who never see a wild animal means that those of us who live where they do are powerless to stop them from eating their landscaping. Deer are not the problem in my patch of suburbia dropped in to the mountain wilderness. Too many fences and dogs to make it worth their while. No, the big problem in my environs is voles.

What the heck is a vole?

Those were my exact words upon moving to Nocal and chatting with the local nursery man. It turns out I had seen them but had thought they were mice. Voles are related to lemmings and muskrats, I learn and are omnivores but as I am also learning this year, they love plants especially mine.

Population explosion

For some reason this year, the hills are alive with the scurrying of voles. I was oblivious to this population explosion until my bedding plants began to disappear the night after planting.. “Snails!” I thought and  began baiting the next planting with no results. Next my green bean plants were cut off as they began to unfurl the first true leaves. My response was more snail bait but the results were unsatisfying. There were no snail trails and no dead snails in spite of the continuing damage. I tried a new snail bait with no better results. I was getting really cantankerous at being outsmarted by varmints that I couldn’t even identify.

Eureka moment!

Then it hit me. All summer, our cat had been bringing carcases to the back door. We thought this quite cute and bragged about our mouser. Then  I began to notice that the backyard slope was an active rodent zone. There were so many voles that you could put yourself to sleep counting them as they ran from bush to bush. Now I knew my antagonist but what could I do. Mousetraps seemed unworkable. Poison would endanger our cats. Surely there was something that would protect my plants from these voracious varmints.

When in doubt ask Google

Google turned up a solution. Not only did it promise to keep the voles from my plants, it was ecologically friendly and wouldn’t even hurt them. It was too good to be true. This solution didn’t have the satisfying closure of dead bodies but at this point, my honor and my garden was at stake. I was willing to accept a compromise. I got some of the stuff and scattered the granules around my flowers and vegetables, hoping that it would at least allow some of the plants to recover.

It is like watching BP control the oil spill

Now, a few days later, I check every morning. The damage seems to have stopped in the treated areas but I can’t be sure. Maybe the voles are just waiting for the plants to grow a little more before finishing them off. Meanwhile the pest control guy left some sticky boards scattered around the yard. He said that the voles would stick to the sticky boards and die. I laughed at him but said to go ahead. This morning I found two corpses. I am exhilarated.  My first victory.  What difference can two dead voles make against the horde? It is a small victory but I will take it.

May 182014
 

Maybe Obama’s campaign ads are working (you do know all those trips around the country…on your dime…were really campaigning, right?), but I’m beginning to agree with him that there are folks out here who don’t pay their “fair share”, and something needs to be done about it. Dammit, EVERYBODY needs to pay their fair share! Let’s figure out who the slackers are, shall we?


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May 182014
 

For three over three years, Obama has waffled on human rights.

He supported the Arab Spring…but didn’t actually DO anything, and now we have a terrorist organization, that ignores rights, running Egypt.

He was all for going after Moammar Gaddafi, but seems afraid to act in Syria.

He doesn’t act, even in diplomatic support, when Iranians take to the streets, giving the United States and the world it’s best shot at stopping the Iranian nuclear weapons program…but he supports, and encourages, rag-tag groups of students, led by union organizers and American Socialist Party leaders, when they “Occupy” banks, crap on police cars, overrun restaurants and other businesses, and steal and rape other protesters among them.

He has failed to take a firm stand on human rights…but he can’t any longer.  A Chinese dissident has his back against the wall, and his choice is human rights or kiss some more Chinese ass:

 

 

Now…if you are like me, you don’t trust Obama to do the right thing regarding the topic in the video…but we, you and I, can…CAN…force his hand if we yell loud enough, so…

Start yelling…to congress, to the state department, and to the White House.

White House phone number:

Comments-202-456-1111
Switchboard-202-456-1414

State Department:

Public liaison office-202-647-8411