Tell us about the 2nd Amendment (part 1)

 Posted by at 11:01  Bob's Politics
Feb 232015
 

This is the first of a three part post, an installment each week for the next three weeks.  It was originally posted in its entirety at Common Sense Conversation and is reposted here in serial form by its author.  It is the author’s sincere belief that we citizens of the United States are about to lose this country, at least as far as we (think) we know it as the freest country on the planet…and that once lost, it will be impossible to recover.

Text of the Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States:

The Constitution in Peril

The Constitution in Peril (Photo credit: Renegade98)

The Second Amendment, as ratified by the States, reads: A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

The hand-written copy of the Bill of Rights as passed by the house and Senate and which hangs in the National Archives, had slightly different capitalization and punctuation inserted by William Lambert, the scribe who prepared it. This copy reads: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Both versions are commonly used by “official” Government publications. (Emphasis added by author)

The Sandy Hook school shooting has ignited, once again, the debate over gun control.  Before looking at the merits of different sides in the debate, let’s define just who the players are in the discussion, as there are really three sides, not two, involved.

Next week…the players

Coming soon…”Rules for (Conservative) Radicals”…Saul Alinskys rules, leavened with some  ethics.  Alinsky was a genius, but an evil one.  His rules for accomplishing change work, and with the ethics he lacked added in his rules can be a blueprint for conservatives…real, constitutional conservatives, not the trash that populates the current GOP.

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A large, symmetrical oil stain

 Posted by at 11:01  Coot Comedy
Feb 232015
 
Panther, a cat using toilet, photographed in S...

Image via Wikipedia

 

Most of the time, when you think of an oil stain, you think ugly, dirty, slimy…something to be cleaned up as soon as possible.

Change perspective and that opinion can change as well. I have a brand new oil stain in my house, and I like it!

It’s rather large too. And I did it on purpose.

Now, y’all already had been wondering how I was allowed to walk around free in society rather than being locked away in an institution like the crazy uncle nobody in your family talks about, and this will probably confirm it.

“Did you hear about Bob? He dumped a bunch of oil on the floor in his yurt…and brags about it! He claims the stain is almost exactly half of a 30 foot diameter circle!

“He’s not planning to clean it up, either…not even scattering some Oil Dry.”

BTW…a note about oil dry. If y’all have a cat (God only knows why folks want cats, but some do. I’ll bet Ralph is weird that way…among others.) you can save some money on cat maintenance by bypassing that expensive kitty litter at the store. Just go buy a 50 lb. bag of oil dry at the local auto parts store. Most (90%) kitty litters are exactly the same thing, just with perfume added.

Seriously. Almost all of the kaolin (clay) in the country is mined and packaged within 200 miles of me, and I’ve been in the plants. They run bags down the line bagging the dried, flaked clay and labeling it oil dry. When they are done, they change bags and turn on a perfume injector. They then run more clay, with a penny or two’s worth of perfume sprayed on it, use a kitty litter label instead of oil dry, and charge you 5-6 times as much.

And you pay it.

And you think I’M nuts…

But anyway…back to the oil stain discussion…

Remember? This is a story about oil stains

(Shades of “Alice’s Restaurant”, all 18 minutes and 36 seconds of it. Want to hear it…and other weird songs like “The Streak”, and “I Am My Own Grandpa”? Go over to JuicyMaters and play the music player in the sidebar. This week’s genre is “oddities”. Better hurry…next week will probably be ether gospel or bluegrass).

Anyway, yes, I have a large new oil stain covering half my house, and I’m glad of it. It all depends on perspective.

If it helps you understand any better how I can actually LIKE an oil stain, it might help you to know the brand of oil It consists of.

Minwax.

 

Down with Health Nuts

 Posted by at 11:01  Down with
Feb 232015
 
If you're another one of those health nuts who...
Image by Ed Yourdon via Flickr

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”

Redd Fox

Unless you are a total recluse, you know some health nuts. These people are fixated on ‘taking care of their bodies’. They would never dream of eating a hamburger. It’s got to be a broiled chicken breast or if they are total loons- a vegeburger. Then they pretend to enjoy their food while they smirk at you and your unhealthy choice. They know how much fat is in anything you name and whether it is saturated, unsaturated, poly-unsaturated or, the crème de la crème of bad, trans fat. These are the people who decided ,in the interest of their own good health, not to eat anything that tastes good. Since they get no pleasure from food, they compensate by making you feel bad eating something delicious. It is an evil perversion and health nuts deserve a special place in hell.

It’s pretty clear that health nuttiness doesn’t make them healthier. They don’t look any better. They get sick just as often and instead of enjoying life they take pride in making sure that anybody around them can’t enjoy life. There is never an end to their quest for perfect health. Taking one step on the path, instead of producing praise just causes them to step up the program- and the abuse

“Bob, it is so good that you have given up eating read meat. Your body will be so happy.”

As you smile at their encouragement they continue.

“Of course, you really want to give up that nasty meat all together. It’s so bad for you.”

And its not just food. Maybe you start taking walks to keep that blood flowing and clear your head. You feel pretty good. Just don’t tell the health nut.

“Fred, that’s a great first step.”

Don’t get cocky because they continue.

“We’ll have you doing an Iron Man in no time.”

This coot has learned over time not to give a health nut any encouragement. These unhappy people only live to suck all the joy de vivre out of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room with them. Don’t give them an inch. Don’t concede even the smallest of their points because when you do, they have you where they want you- feeling guilty.

Enjoy yourself and let health be damned. Eat that savory hamburger with pleasure, wiping your chin from time to time as the delicious juices drip. Walk if you must but be careful about jogging because the next step is running a marathon. Focus on enjoyment and don’t let guilt get his foot in the door. Health nuts have forgone pleasure to achieve the false nirvana of ‘good health’. The only pleasure they have left is suckering you to follow them. If you concede an inch to their fixation, you are as good as doomed to join them. If not in the achievement of perfect health- at least by reaching a state of perfect unhappiness.

It is a slippery slope to health nuttitidude.

Down with Summer

 Posted by at 11:01  Down with
Feb 232015
 

Whatever happened to Summer?

So. its Summer. I just can’t get excited these days. I’ve been snookered too many times.   Summer just means scorching heat and kids playing in the street. Maybe there is still magic in Summer for some people but I’m past it.

Summer is a tramp, full of promises and bad at delivering. As a kid, I was a sucker for the dream. I lived each year for the promise and then made excuses when they never came through. Anything could happen. Sadly it mostly didn’t. These days I don’t expect much. I just hunker down and get through it.

It is hard to like Summer. It promises great things but never really delivers. When I was a kid, it’s big attraction was that there was no school. Aside from that. Summer meant high temperatures and insufferable humidity. It meant hot sticky nights, trying to sleep with the sheets sticking to your body and bugs, lots of bugs, Noisy annoying annoying bugs like June bugs were bad enough but the grass was full of chiggers and the evenings brought mosquitoes which left you with painful itches and welts. The only bugs I liked were lighting bugs which sadly I never see in California. Summer fantasies were about bikini clad lovelies on sandy beaches. If you were in the landlocked Midwest, these were only fantasies because all you had were swimming pools or the lake and somehow it was just never beach blanket bingo or even Gidget. The reality was just never as good as the fantasy. Continue reading »

It’s December and this Coot is cold – and bored.

 Posted by at 11:01  Plain 'ol Cantankerous
Feb 232015
 
Sign at the entrance of Sun City West, Arizona
Image via Wikipedia

Where is Global Warming when you need it?

This Coot is frustrated today. It may be just the weather. It is only December and we’ve got frost. What ever happened to that global warming thing? Wherever it went, bring it back because I need it. Still, I’d probably be frustrated even if if weren’t freezing because my life is boring. Something is wrong here. It’s not the way it happens on TV. I did the right stuff. I went to college as long as I could get away with it. I got a job- it was even an ‘interesting’ job. Then I retired. I followed the plan. I put up with serious shit and smiled even when I hated it. Then put my nose down, did the energizer bunny thing and got another job and then another. Then I won! I got to retire. Now I want my reward.

And what’s up with retirement?

So, I’m sitting around in my retirement bliss wondering where is all the fun. I put up with big time inconvenience for all my adult life so that one day I would get to retire and do what I wanted. Isn’t that what fun is all about? Thinking back, nobody was ever very clear about what that fun would be. The TV ads always show golf courses but since I never had time to play golf I would first have to learn. Going back to school again doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Then apparently when you retire you are supposed to go live with other old fogies. Apparently retirement fun is living in some place with a golf course along with a swarm of happy, semi-conscious old people sipping wine and watching the sunsets. Can you spell B O R I N G?

Did I get snookered big time? Is the Pope catholic?

Maybe I should have learned golf.

Maybe I should stop struggling. Maybe I should learn to play the golf and live in one of those senior communities. Let’s say that I’ve managed to put away enough money to move to one of those golf course ghettos. Would my life be better? I don’t think so. First, I’d be broke from buying into the place and couldn’t afford to travel. I’d be stuck there forever. Then I’d be surrounded by mindless twits who play golf all day. What would I talk about? And who could I talk to? When you live in a place like that, how often do you see people from the real world? How often would my family actually visit me and provide intelligent conversation? My retirement may be boring now but if I lived in a golf ghetto, I would be pleading for Alzheimer’s to take me into oblivion. That is no life for a self-respecting coot.

It is a serious existential question.

Dust off the Kierkegaard. Dig out the Sartre. What even made me buy into this retirement trap of happy senility? If there is a solution to my retirement problem, then I guess it is up to me to find it. Society has certainly let me down. If I had waked up sooner, I might have paddled up a different creek and become a rock star because they seem to go on forever. Never mind it won’t do me much good to cry about it now. I’ve got to take my boring life to a new plateau. I need to find something fulfilling to do and keep warm while doing it. Something that doesn’t require so much discipline. Forget golf. I’ll take up pyromania.

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