Up With Cantankerosity!

Posted by Justin at 11:58 Coots Lessons, Up With

Nov 032013

: Image via Wikipedia

You typically won’t hear of a Cantankerous Old Coot tooting his own Cantankerousity horn, but today is different. Cantankerosity is the topic du jour. (if you have to look that up get out now. Go on, get out)

As we have stated before, Cantankerous is not just angry. Cantankerous is not just being grumpy for grumpy’s sake. It is not something to be turned on or off whenever the whim strikes. Cantankerosity is the art of being Cantankerous. Cantankerosity is a way of life.

To truly be cantankerous you have to look at the world in a certain way. You have to be willing to let go of certain societal preconceptions about the population in general and just let it out.

You have to quit caring what other people think. You have to be true to yourself and not worry about being polite if it interferes with being you.

You must be ready to say what needs saying right when you feel it, and you have to let it show on your face. There can be no dithering, no half promises, no sitting on the fence. Take a side and tell everyone else to deal with it.

Now being Cantankerous is some work. If you have noticed, there are some links in this post that will take you to other posts that are lessons in being Cantankerous. Feel free to go and browse those. There is some great information that you will need if you want to become a Cantankerous Old Coot.

If you do not have time to click and read each post, they comprise the first volume of the Cantankerous Old Coots University Manual! For some simple clicks of your mouse, you can join our mailing list which will give you access to a finely crafted ebook that contains the first 5 lessons and a bonus lesson for subscribers only, all packaged in PDF format for your reading pleasure. Plus, if you sign up this weekend, you will be eligible for special “subscriber only” discounts to future cantankerous products.

Join us in the Coots University and find your own way to say “Up with Cantankerosity!”

-Justin

PS, the picture today doesn’t have anything to do with the post, but doesn’t the “Grumpy Troll” Sound like a great place to eat? It would seem to have the right Cantankerous attitude

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Up With Mediocrity

Posted by Ralph at 11:58 Up With

Nov 032013

Image via Wikipedia

“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.” Joseph Heller

Coots want to honor mediocrity today. It is easy to take mediocrity for granted. It looks so easy but it is not. People fail to appreciate the difficulty in maintaining an even keel in life; charting that difficult course between accomplishment and blithering idiocy. Most people just can’t manage this. Try as they might, they fail. They either excel at something without even noticing or expose their stupidity because they don’t know how to maintain proper discipline. Humans are complex and operate on many levels which makes the seemingly simple task of being mediocre almost impossible. Most people have some dimension of their being which stands out. There seems always to be some talent or skill which is unique or memorable and most people just don’t have the skills to cover it up. This is why for most people being mediocre is impossible. No matter how hard they try to tone down those areas, they just can’t do it. Something stands out.

Only Masters Achieve True Mediocrity

Only masters can become truly mediocre. The truly mediocre maintain a marvelous balance moderating any aspects of their life where they risk being noticed or even worse being considered exceptional. In the old days, the world was run by such people. We used to talk about getting through college with gentlemen C’s and it was a genuine compliment respecting the sense of balance and mastery to stay on that narrow path for four years without once doing anything memorable. These were people you could respect to serve you well as elected officials, bankers, insurance agents or teachers. They didn’t have an agenda. They weren’t driven by ego or ideology. You could rely on their discretion because they had worked so hard over their lives to avoid taking a position or adopting an agenda. They had successfully beaten down any extremes of achievement or talent. They would never overshadow you or make you embarrassed.

That was then, this is now.

It’s a whole new ballgame today. Nobody has the discipline and conviction to achieve mediocrity. Without that moderation and discipline, people just let their abilities run amok, exposing incredible gaps in judgment and ability on the one hand and total disregard for modesty and decorum on the other. These days everybody operates on the ‘Lake Woebegon” standard where everybody is above average. People go out of their way to demonstrate the skills and abilities that are truly exceptional no matter how little value those talents might actually have for society or how it exposes their stupidity. They even consider making utter fools of themselves an accomplishment since they mistake attention for appreciation. And thus today we have a world where everybody wants to be special and unique even if that uniqueness has no value to anybody else or brands them as a clown.

Can we turn back the clock to better days?

This Coot would like to see a return to the civil and comfortable world full of carefully modulated, mediocre people. Those were the good old days. Life was simple. Mediocrity was given its proper respect. It would be great to return to those better times. Break down all the egocentric meism that infects society and show people the value of a non-threatening mediocre society. People should be recognized and appreciated for the ability to moderate any exceptional abilities they have down to a unexceptional mediocrity.

Stop the Meism

Coots want to stop all the proliferation of honors degrees celebrating the exceptional and show respect for the good old gentleman’s C student. The ones that ran our world and kept in on an even keel for so long. Enough of this egocentric self worship. Bring back the serenity and happiness that comes with a world full of committedly mediocre people. Are you willing to join the mediocre bandwagon? What are your ideas about how we can return to those better times?

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Up with Getting Started

Posted by Ralph at 04:47 Uncategorized, Up With

Sep 212013

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished.

That will be the beginning.”

–Louis L’Amour

So what is so hard about getting started?

Are you stalled?

When I was a young sprout, there were ideas everywhere, or so it seemed to me. Everything was new. I couldn’t tell a fresh idea from one that was worn out. They all seemed exciting to me. Moving on through life, I gained knowledge and judgment. I began to form opinions. I got picky about ideas. I got sophisticated. College taught me that all the stuff I learned as a kid was crap, my parents were dumb, unsophisticated hicks and I shouldn’t trust my instincts unless they were first verified by The New Republic. But college doesn’t last forever. Sometime you have to start paying the piper. I had to get a job.

In the workplace it was different. So much for new ideas. Nobody even wanted me to think. It turned out that those smart college profs didn’t have any better answers than my parents. All the social profiling and posturing that seem so smart in college just didn’t seem to work in the office. I bought into all the new ideas, got creative, encouraged people to become raving fans and quickly discovered that my boss didn’t want my ideas. He wanted me to do what he wanted, when he wanted it, stop complaining and suck up. So life continued. I hunkered back and just coped, muddling through my parenting years, reeling between one crisis and another, cautiously taking baby steps without making any big commitments.

Now here in my Golden years, I find that I’m pretty set in my ways. I don’t expect to be a world beater anymore. I just want to get along. It’s what worked for me all these. Whatever success I got in life, I can attribute to taking no initiative, grabbing no limelight and following the person who can do me the most good. And then I retired.

I thought I was all finished with life. I thought all my battles were fought and lost. I thought there wasn’t a challenge left to face. I thought it was all over. Then I discovered I was wrong. Retirement makes you start all over – unless you are ready to die and get it over with.

So now, in retirement, nothing much matters. It’s just you. There is no job, no status, no followers. Whatever you had before is gone. Who are you? Who cares? Why do you get up? It’s all over if you let your job define you. If you don’t have a role in your family or your community, you might as well have died on our last day at work.

So the good news today about finishing is that it always signals a beginning. That is the problem that retired people face and the answer they choose makes all the difference. You know what ended with retirement and if you stop there all that is left is to ride that end down to the grave. On the other hand, if you choose to begin something, all the excitement and opportunities of life fill you with excitement and optimism. How can you begin something at the end of your life? The question begs the answer. You can’t. If you begin something new, you can’t be at the end. And if you don’t begin something new it is all over, whether you know it or not.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Up with Senility

Posted by Ralph at 10:41 Up With

Aug 282013

“I am in the prime of senility.” Joel Chandler Harris

There is a lot not to like about getting older- most of which you can’t begin to appreciate until you experience it. Part of the problem is that it happens so damn slowly that you never notice that you can no longer run like a gazelle until suddenly you discover that you need a cane to walk. Somehow those tiny and gradual diminishments of your abilities just escape notice until you are way over the hill..

Up with Senility!

It’s the same with pain. When was it that I accepted pain as a normal part of daily life. It sure wasn’t when I was 20. I don’t think it was 40 or even 60. I just know that along the way I routinely accepted pain as normal. Excusers like to tell you that the negatives of aging are more than made up for by increased wisdom and judgment. Excusers don’t know shit!

In truth there is nothing golden about those vaunted golden years. You finally reach a stage in life where you don’t have to work and now that you have the time discover that you no longer have the physical ability to do anything that is any fun. In spite of all the hype saying how wonderful old age can be, it is a constant battle to hold on to whatever physical strength, coordination and mental power you have left and then deal with the pain that is your constant companion. The biggest problem in your golden years is finding a reason to get out of bed each morning when you know that each moment will bring pain and that everything you do puts you at risk for injury which may end what remains of your independence.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Up with Cantankerosity

Posted by Ralph at 12:05 Reflections, Up With

Aug 012013

I can’t help but marvel at the wonder of cantankerousity. I may have addressed this topic before but if I did, it doesn’t matter because this is a topic that needs all the attention it can get. The majority discounts and disparages cantankerousity. This in itself should be a ringing endorsement. Wherever you turn it seems that the focus is on amiability, getting along going along and the like. Nobody wants controversy, disagreement or antagonism and so we see the glorification of the gutless, agreeable nonentities that make up the bland majority of the humanity surrounding us. The world is awash in conformity, monotony and boredom. Someone needs to shake things up before we sink into a coma and so I say up with cantankerousity.

I don’t advocate mayhem, violence or disaster although they too shake things up. Those activities create more problems than solutions but sometimes the go along trance gets so thick that only mayhem can wake you up. That is the beauty of cantankerousity. It is the incongruity in the ordered state of the world that lets you appreciate how good you have it without losing it all.

Glass half Full

What society conspires to teach is that we all need to suck up small inconveniences and abandon what we want in order to have a world where we all are happy all the time. Since this is impossible, the work around is to brainwash everyone into thinking that they are happy even when the glass is only half-full. Once you are persuaded that half-full is all anyone should want, you stop wanting more. If everyone else is happy with half-full glasses, they don’t push for what they want either. The result is a unsatisfying world where you don’t push to get what you really want and others don’t push for what they really want and everybody pretends that everything is great. It’s a dumbed-down world where people exchange some turmoil and ranker for the bliss of mindless conformity until mayhem happens and we all scramble until a new state of conformity emerges.

This is why cantankerousity is so necessary. The urge for conformity is so great that you may not realize that you have settled for a glass that is only half full. You may be perfectly happy with a settle-for life, an itch that is never scratched and a need that is never satisfied because all around you there are unfulfilled people making do just like you. You may never realize that you are living a half-life. Until, that is, you encounter someone who wants a full glass, an unreasonable person that is fully aware that the half full glass that life has given him just isn’t good enough and demands the rest. Those people annoy us. We question what makes them think that they can ask for more than we are willing to accept and sometimes we demand that somebody make them shut up and settle for a half glass like the rest of us. But they also stir something up deep in our being that asks what I should want.

Cantankerousity is not about annoying people- although that may be one of the results. Cantankerousity is about not accepting that half-full glass. Nobody gets it all but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go for more than you have right now. Be the guy who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to insist on it. Don’t accept poor service, shoddy goods, insincere friends, unloving and unlovable family members. Why should you allow your life to me miserable just to make some lazy slob more comfortable. Take command of the situation and play to win. You will still lose a lot of the time but at least you won’t feel like a sap doing it.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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