Sep 022014
 

I’ve got a question today.

For some reason I feel mellow and my cantankerosity tank seems empty. I know it can’t last but meanwhile I’ve still got a post to write.  So today we try something new.  I don’t want to rail and rant. I just want to engage our readers. Today we are doing show and tell.

One of the harsh realities of life is that there aren’t any do overs. You go down the trail once and when it’s done, it’s done. You can think about the experiences you missed along the way and imagine how different things might have turned out with alternative selections but you can never change the reality of your choices.

Tell me your biggest do over wish.

I want to hear your perspective on your life.  No big generalities or conventional wisdom.  Confess!  We all establish priorities and principles that guide our life decisions. We don’t always honor those priorities and principles however. That is my story and I bet it is yours too.

We missed our Swiss Family Robinson moment

Sometime it’s just too hard and we take the easy path. Other times we choose the safe path; the secure job instead of the one that is exciting, the guided tour instead of the travel adventure, the challening path instead of the easy one, the sure thing instead of the big risk.

I did all those things along my life path. How much difference it made and whether my life today would have been better or worse I can’t say. I do know that the one thing I regret most is not creating a lasting memory of at least one outrageous family adventure when my kids were at home. The time with our kids was short and I was distracted by other things I thought were important at the time. If I could go back and create some kind of family adventure. I would have to fight to do it because neither my wife or kids would have gone willingly for a month on the beach in Belize or a rented boat in the Caribbean. That kind of outrageous idea never crossed my mind and if it did, I was too much a wimp to make it happen.  We missed our Swiss Family Robinson moment.

That’s my confession.

No Cantakerosity from this Old Coot today. What I would like to hear is what thing you wish you had had the guts to do earlier in your life. You don’t have to be an old coot. You can be a young coot or not a coot at all. Let it out. You will feel better and I won’t feel like such a loser.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Googlephobic

 Posted by at 18:17  rants, Reflections
Jul 072014
 

The Cantankerous Old Coots evolve.

Al Gore

Cover of Al Gore

Expose three ordinary guys to the internet and you don’t know what might happen.  They might just reject it outright as an irrelevant and irresponsible time waster.  Then again, they might just decide that it is a way out of a drab and mundane existence- a path from ordinary to extraordinary.  Well what I see looking back over our journey is chaos and confusion.  There is no path through the web, just a tangle of conflicting threads.  What seemed simple in the beginning has become a maze- a sideshow carnival with a multitude of barkers hawking miracle cures, not to mention fame and fortune if you take their ride.  We are as susceptible as the next guy and each of us has been down a few rabbit holes since embracing the internet.  We certainly haven’t reached the pot of gold yet and each time we attempt to retrace our steps from the last dead end we find ourselves in yet another strange new world full of promise and impending doom but we persist.  Today as I appraise the landscape and the state of the Cantankerous Old Coot, I find that Justin is Twitterpated, Bob is a Facebook Fool and I am in a Googlephobic funk.  How’s that for diversification?

Understanding my own mind is a serious enough challenge.  I don’t have a clue what, if anything, is going on upstairs for Justin and Bob.  For me the boundless opportunities of the web are beginning to look like a mirage.  The freedom of opportunity and access which seemed to mean that the best man would win is starting to look like a con job.  It’s like this.

It seemed so simple!

When we started Cantankerous Old Coots back in the dark ages of the internet, we were innocent babes.  The internet was a simple place- at least so we believed.  Somebody (I personally never believed Al Gore) created the place and out of the goodness of their hearts they let common folk like us publish whatever we wanted.  What could be better?   Some folks got the knack of it right away and became so popular that they were considered authorities, developed a big following and after a while started making money with their blogs.

Content is king

The secret, as the story went back then, was all in creating ‘killer’ content.  The details about how that ‘killer’ content actually found readers was even less clear than the definition of ‘killer’ content.  It was always my belief that ‘killer’ content was what I turned out.  I thought that ‘killer’ content meant good writing (like you used to learn in school), logical construction and original insights.  I thought that web publishing was like old fashioned publishing- quality ultimately wins.  I’m a pig headed cuss unimpressed by signals to the contrary.  The fact that my ‘killer’ content was not finding an audience sailed right over my head.  To my mind, I needed more time and more exposure.

As I said before we were naive in those days. We thought that Google was a search engine- something to help us find information on the web.  It never crossed our minds that a dumb search engine could possibly have anything to do with defining ‘killer’ content.   I remember wondering to myself how Google made any money because I never paid them anything.

It took several years before I began to understand.  First I noticed that there were ads on Google but I have to confess that for years I couldn’t tell an ad from a search result.  As a result, I must have clicked on the ads before moving down the page to the search results.  I no doubt bought some products, innocently unaware that Google received money for that placement.  Who knows how many second rate products I bought just because Google shoved them in my face by displacing the ‘killer’ content sites recovered in the search.

Ultimately I found out about the ads and became more sophisticated in using Google to find information.  I became more suspicious about the prominently placed ads and no longer assumed that they were high quality.  But I still had a long way to go because I didn’t yet understand the definition of ‘killer’ content.

That came later.

I should have caught on when I learned about SEO (Search Engine Optimization).  If you aren’t getting the attention you want, I was told, it’s because you aren’t writing for the Search Engines.    “Duh,” I thought, “Of course.”

I began checking for keywords.  Was I using the right keywords?  Was I using them enough times? Did I need ‘long-tail’ keywords or were regular ones good enough.  Did I have back links?  Was I ‘black hat’ or ‘white hat’?  It was so strange, complicated and magical that I never stopped to think about what this all meant.  It never occurred to me that search engines can’t comprehend grammar or syntax.  They have no way to evaluate good writing.  The truth is that ‘killer’ content on the web has nothing to do with literature, good writing or even communication.  ‘Killer’ content is simply whatever Google says it is and Google isn’t a person.  Google is a computer program.

So, it turns out that ‘killer’ content (and success on the web) is determined by a computer algorithm not by real human beings.  Google makes money the old fashioned way that the government has mastered- regulation.  You never see Google charge you for anything if you are a normal person.  You just enjoy all the free services and never see the real cost.

Google’s legacy.

The legacy of the Google dominated internet today is the death of literacy.  Nobody reads newspapers anymore.  Nobody has the patience or time to actually read a carefully crafted news story when they can get a titillating headline while they check Facebook or a snarky comment on Twitter.  Magazines used to publish creative writing.  Ordinary people used to read literature, savor beautifully constructed prose and emulate what they discovered in their speech.  These days ‘Killer’ content has nothing to do with beautiful writing.  ‘Killer’ content means nothing more than using enough keywords and in the proper number.

No wonder Justin worships Twitter and Bob sucks up to Facebook.  Why waste your time crafting deathless prose when Google- the overlord of the internet- deems it irrelevant.

This leaves me in a quandary. Now that I see the truth how to I proceed with my life?  Do I accept reality and embrace Google’s new order or take a stand on principle and tilt at windmills?  Maybe I should Google it.

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jun 112014
 

Everyone is so darned nice.

It's so darned quiet!

It’s so darned quiet!

Cantankerous Old Coots don’t usually struggle to find something to complain about. These days there is always something wrong. Most everywhere you go people mess up, take shortcuts, don’t care about doing things right or just have low standards. Your only problem is where to start. Sometimes it is just different standards. There are places where crappy is considered just fine. I’m not going to name names here but you know what I mean. There are others where people make apologies and give excuses but still refuse to do things right when all it would take is a little extra effort. It is really hard in my experience to find a place where doing things right is not only expected, it is the practice. Continue reading »

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jun 022014
 

Get it while you can!

You may all envy the Cantankerous Old Coot Lifestyle.  Who doesn’t want it- or at least what they think it is?

American Coot

The end of the American Coot? (Photo credit: ap2il)

It seems ideal, doesn’t it; take no responsibility, complain about anything that you don’t like and then move on without ever having to fix a darn thing.  So different from all the crap your mother mad you do as a kid; more pleasant than attempting to satisfy your sadistic, incompetent boss; safer than  driving in the right lane and way less frustrating than all the  bureaucratic folderol that goes with life these days. Who doesn’t want the Coot Lifestyle?

It seems that every day somebody makes up new rules to follow.  Every time you think you have them mastered you discover that someone slipped in some new ones when you weren’t looking.  Where did freedom go?  Where did the independent, take charge way of life that used to be the American way go?  What happened to the pragmatic, problem solving mentality that made America the world leader?  Why do we suck up to assholes in Washington instead of doing what we were born to do-think?  How did we evolve from lone wolves to Pavlov’s dog?  It would take Einstein to figure it out.

Too erudite for me.

I’ll leave all that intellectual stuff to Bob.  It’s been my experience that thinking doesn’t do much about fixing things.  I’m more the take action kind of guy- do something that feels right and then decide later whether it made any sense or not.  I’ve heard this called ‘Ready, Fire, Aim’.  What’s great about this plan is that you either lead into a great new future or you make a big mess and sometime you can’t tell the difference.

Somehow it seems that I got diverted from my original topic- the Coot Lifestyle- into a rant about the country and how it has gone to the dogs but I suppose it all is related somehow.  All I know is that most people these days are too hung up about what somebody else thinks; how many government programs they can get stuff from and finding a drug to solve their most pressing problems (from my informal survey of TV ads, I conclude that for men it is getting it up and for women it is fear of falling down).

LIFE IN A BUBBLE

Bob’s solution is, no doubt, the Constitution- probably the second amendment- and Justin would write a poem.  I can’t be bothered with all that.  Mine is letting it all hang out and living the Coot Lifestyle- calling things as I see them, ignoring stupid rules and letting life happen instead of controlling it and living in a bubble.

Somehow people today expect a life with no downside.  There should be no disastrous acts of nature.  There should be no unpleasantness.  There should be no risk.  And we are all paying the price in a world of rules that only a fool needs.  This new world is boring with no adventure, no surprises, and no disaster.  But it is also a world with no excitement, no thrills, no imagination and no real fun.  All our fun is the safe, sanitary kind with imagined threats and such careful management of risks that even the fun is imaginary.  We are living in Disneyland.

I’ve gone off on a tear again.  Back to the Coot Lifestyle.  Like I was saying earlier, the Coot Lifestyle is all about doing what feels good, calling a spade a spade and getting yourself in deep shit from time to time. To quote somebody “It’s a wonderful life” but if you want it, you had better grab it fast before the government makes a rule to ban it.

 

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Another Old Age Rant

 Posted by at 12:34  Reflections
May 182014
 

Much to fix, little time

I live now on borrowed time, waiting in the anteroom for the summons that will inevitably come. And then – I go on to the next thing, whatever it is. One doesn’t luckily have to bother about that.

Agatha Christie (1890 – 1976),

Time is running out.

Time is running out.

Getting old changes many things. I’ve ranted about many of them from time to time. You get fat. You get clumsy. You look like shit and everything hurts. It is frustrating and there isn’t a darned thing you can do about it. About all you can do is to stay away from mirrors and cameras. You may be able to forget about the ravages of time but unfortunately you can’t do anything about how you look to others. They see you for what you are – an old guy and act accordingly. People treat you like an old guy instead of a regular human being. There isn’t much you can do short of becoming a hermit so you ignore them and pretend you are still 40. You move on. Continue reading »

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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