rants | - Part 21

I finally see the truth…

Posted by Justin at 12:17 Coot Smirk, rants

Feb 012013

I was just looking at some numbers here on the ol’ Coots blog and I found something interesting. It seems our tweet out when posted plugin is not working. At all. Looking further, there are no updates, the plugin blog post on the developer site is from 2008. Finally, I have switched plugins.

twitterverse (Photo credit: birgerking)

That in itself is not big news, what is surprising is this, the past 2 posts that have gone out this week have had 11 and 17 views. The two before that have had 42 and 37 views. That tells me there are not many people actually reading these posts on their own and Twitter is a huge tool in the promotion of this blog. This particular post should go out into the Twitterverse and lets see just how many hits it generates.

Now, I have read volumes of stuff about how to make blogs happen and get bigger. Twitter is good but sharing, out there with people, gets more people here to read our stuff. If this is your first time here, good deal. Share with your friends using those nifty buttons at the bottom.

If this blog is your guilty pleasure and you don’t want people to know you read it, sneak some links out and about for us. We won’t tell.

If you are so inclined, add something to the comments! We love to hear ~~inane babble~~ er, constructive comments from our readers. Ralph has been the main writer here for far too long and maybe you are just getting tired of him and his rants about traveling the world and all of the hardships associated with living in California. Apparently, he is losing his ranting mojo as evidenced by this post earlier in the week.

Or maybe you are just excited to get some Bob back into the cantankerousness with his last two posts, part 1 and part 2. Maybe you just don’t care. But, with 2013 fast dwindling we need to raise our alexa score so that we can get some advertising to help pay for this adventure.

Please, share, comment, blast us with incredulity, or find your own cantankerousness and write a guest post. You will not be sorry.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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I can’t rant!

Posted by Ralph at 04:32 rants, Reflections

Jan 292013

Al Capps Joe Btfsplk the worlds greates jinx.

I might end up like Joe.

I’ve lost it. It used to be no trouble at all to erupt in outrage at the drop of a hat even about the most trivial thing. For example, I can remember going off because I could never find a ripe avocado at the store for guacamole. I remember the feeling. I was completely and self-righteously overwhelmed with the absolute certainty that I and every other human being in that store was entitled to find a perfectly ripe avocado right there, right now. It was impossible for me to accept any thought that the store should be allowed to do business if they were only able to supply un-ripe ones. I wanted guacamole. I wanted it now and there was no excuse for any store that expected my business not to know that and have at least one perfectly ripe avocado awaiting my desire. My expectations were perfectly reasonable to me and I let my rant fly without a hesitation or doubt.

But these days my resolution waivers. “Who am I?” I ask myself “ to believe that I should get what I want.” What has happened and why have I turned into such a sniveling wimp? It is troubling.

Maybe guacamole is not a life changing event. Maybe it isn’t really important to have guacamole when you want it. It seems trivial looking back- especially today when guacamole is not my prime directive. There are ways to handle a ripe avocado deficiency and amazingly most people can survive without guacamole. My point, though, is not about the importance of guacamole. It is about rants. Rants have nothing to do with being reasonable or responsible. Rants are about knowing that you are important and matter and the belief that because you matter, someone will at least notice.

Definition of RANT

a: a bombastic extravagant speech

b: bombastic extravagant language

This is what the dictionary tells us about a rant. I agree but a true rant is so much more. Not only is it bombastic and extravagant. It is also cathartic. It releases a load of frustration building from an inability to accomplish something you want. It clearly lets people know that you are somebody with standards and expectations. Finally, it gets you off the hook for any responsibility for that failure. The highest quality rants unload all of that frustration and pile it squarely and vehemently on the shoulders of someone or something else. What a relief.

Well, I’m finding that something has happened. Those rants that just used to flow naturally from normal day to day life have stopped. It isn’t that I don’t get frustrated. It isn’t that bad things have stopped happening. It isn’t that the world around me has stopped being crazy and dysfunctional. It is something else. It’s just that somehow, I can’t summon the energy to let those rants fly and I don’t know why. I have racked my brain for an answer but the ‘aha’ moment escapes me and if I don’t know what is preventing me from venting a good rant. I can’t fix it. The pressure and emotion build up and with no way to let it out, who knows what might happen. I might blow a circuit and turn into a vegetable, or a serial killer or worst of all, an email marketer. I need help.

The problem is that this pressure has turned my mind to mush and I’m impotent to act. The minute I try to analyze the situation, I become mired in infinite possibilities and my mind shuts down. I need help. Times like these are when you need a coldly detached intellect to look at reality and tell you what to do so today I’m throwing the question to readers. Help me out. Tell me what is preventing me from producing a healthy and cathartic rant and how can I restore my psyche to its old uninhibited state?

This is as far as I can take it. I will give you my best guesses for consideration but feel free to explore the universe to find what makes sense to you. So far I have only two hypotheses which are:

It is from living in California where nothing functions efficiently, government is against the people rather than for them and the only ‘good’ money is taxes especially if it is from the rich. I fear that because there is so much to rant about and no way that any individual can stop the craziness all around that my rant engine has overheated and shut down.
Senility is setting in and my mind no longer demands logic, reason and responsibility in the world.

I have to add that neither hypothesis is appealing to me which may contribute to my inability to reason this out. I’m waiting for reason from readers to get me past this. Help me out so I can get back to normal. It is more than I can handle on my own.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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8.15 Live streaming podcast! The Political Coot

Posted by Bob@HayleStorm Interactive at 11:39 Bob's Politics, Podcast, rants, videos

Jan 242013

Starting this morning, the Coots went live! A new show…The Political Coot…will be streamed live every Monday at 10am eastern time on uStream on the channel The Political Coot.

The show will be recorded and put up as a recorded podcast here on CantankerousOldCoots.com by ABOUT noon, eastern time…and here is today’s show:

Show length: 14:16

[powerpress]

Show notes:

0:35 introducton
0:50 CantankerousOldCoots.com collaboration
1:30 Show focus
2:00 The WWWWHW (Who, What, When, Where, How, Why) of the show
3:00 Explanation of interactivity
3:20 Viewpoint
4:30 Topic focus
8:00 Illegal veggies are a national security risk!
14:15 WDWFY. YWFU. (Watch the show…fid out)

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

Down With Romantic Comedies!

Posted by Heather at 11:39 Down with, rants

Jan 242013

: Cover of When Harry Met Sally

I was in a superb mood. Really, truly, fantastic. Evil plans were coming together nicely, I had plans for the weekend, college was going ok and the parts for my computer were on their way. Unfortunately I was also near the end of a film; ‘When Harry met Sally’ if we’re being specific.

It’s important to note that my choice in this was limited, I had to watch that movie as homework for my college course. Sure I had a choice of days on which to watch it but I had to before the end of the week. Not that I mind the movie – in fact, throughout most of it the dialogue was beautifully written and well executed.

Who am I kidding, the dialogue was brilliant until the very end.

However it still suffers from the one flaw in almost every romantic comedy every (almost added for the simple fact that I’ve not seen all of them in existence and therefore cannot say ‘every’). The happily ever after.

Now I’m female (obviously), I get the whole desire for things to work out nicely at the end with sugar on top. For years I loved it and wanted nothing more than to see it end well. When I found my own ‘Prince charming’ (he would laugh at that) I still enjoyed the movies but there was an added smugness about it; almost like you’d joined some secret club.

Fast forward a few years and I can’t stand them any more. Not because I lost my prince, but because reality decided to smack us around a bit. There is no ‘happily ever after’ that carries on forever and ever amen, at least, never as its portrayed in films. Worse, if you’ve ever had it, seeing films where it remains that way can throw up all sorts of negative emotions you neither asked for nor needed.

Maybe I’m just not their target market any more. Obviously young, female, and realistic don’t gel well with their audience. Or maybe I’m just being overly sensitive about this whole thing (it’s been known to happen), but you have to wonder what the actual goal of these movies is.

We’re fed them from when we’re really young. Much of our ideas about life and love come from the traditional model displayed in these films (Disney too now I think about it, but come on, its Disney). We grow up thinking on some level that we’ll be swept off our feet, lifted out of whatever mess we’re in, and carried off into the sunset where mundane things like paying the bills and living with choices don’t matter. This is never going to happen however to a certain extent we’re brainwashed!

And then when it doesn’t work out with our male counterparts we either ‘hate’ men for a while (in a very upset and irrational way), decide that the poor guy wasn’t ‘the one’ (really?), or think that we’ve done something wrong and hope, maybe for a long time, that he’ll come back. How exactly does that help anyone?

I’m all for inspiring hope but surely it should be hope in something that may actually happen. Causing misery so widespread that ‘chicks cry at romantic movies’ is a social norm shouldn’t be right. And yes, some girls cry because they’re so happy and in fact there’s a whole host of reasons. I still don’t think all those years of watching movies like that and wishing did me, or anyone else for that matter, any good.

What I’d like to know is just how badly this affects the male side of the population? Oh, and for any of the fairer sex out there (yes, I hate that phrase too), am I nuts?

Heather

Screw You, TV Makeover Shows

Posted by 5kmission at 06:13 Down with, rants

Dec 132012

My fellow Coots, I have a question for you.

How come only rich people get free stuff on TV?

When reading Jenn’s post about being unable to relate to motivators who are nothing like you, I got to thinking. This is kind of out in left field from what her post says, but the sentiment is similar.

Have you ever noticed that, on most home decorating or fashion-based shows, the people featured on the shows are well-off? They may not be rich, but they always look to me like someone who doesn’t really “need” the help on a financial level. As someone who grew up so poor that I’m embarrassed to even talk about it, this really pisses me off.

On What Not To Wear, people with poor fashion sense are surprised by the show and then have their personal style mocked by the show’s hosts. It’s bitchy, but hey – that’s fashion. Usually the person being featured on that episode of the show has plenty of clothing – a nice full closet and maybe a few dressers’ worth of items. Not only do the hosts throw out the bulk of a person’s wardrobe, but they then turn around and hand the “fashion victim” a few thousand dollars to go replace those clothes. The castoff clothing gets thrown in a large garbage can, which I’m sure is partially for dramatic effect. I know those clothes are usually what I’d call “pig ugly”, but I still cringe a little every time I see it.

I’ve never seen or heard it mentioned, however, whether those clothes wind up being recycled or donated to people in need. Even if they’re deemed too hideous or damaged for people to wear in public, surely those clothes can be used for other things. They could easily become blankets, jacket linings or pillow stuffing – and those aren’t even really creative ideas. I also take some offense at the fact that, when seeing these people’s homes during the “throwing out” portion of the show, they don’t look like they’re poor. Financing a new wardrobe is expensive for everyone but the incredibly wealthy, and I get that. But just once, I’d like to see some poor unfortunate soul get the big fancy makeover and after-party instead of someone who doesn’t necessarily need it. Imagine how much further that new haircut and shopping spree could go for some recovering welfare mom, or minimum-wage worker trying to improve their lot in life.

One particular What Not to Wear makeover sticks out in my mind – I’m pretty sure the “fashion victim” that episode was a college professor. If someone with an advanced degree dresses like crap, let them hire a personal shopper for a day. Save the money and the airtime for someone who needs it. Never mind the fact that teachers classically don’t get paid that well, no matter what advanced degrees they have. That professor had a job, and a good one at that – let her replace her spandex bike shorts on her own dime.

Fashion shows aren’t the only ones that fall into this trap. With the exception of Extreme Makeover:Home Edition, most of the home decorating or renovation shows operate under the same premise. On Trading Spaces, I remember the people always had nice single homes – and from the looks of their neighborhoods, probably did well enough to be able to afford home renovations. Same with Design on a Dime, Clean House, and so on. I understand that the premise is more about the educational tips, but just once I’d like to see those shows head into a less-well-off area.

With the millions of Americans living in poor or impoverished conditions – especially now that so many people can’t afford to buy a new home or finance big-ticket repairs – those TV dollars would go so much further helping out people in need. Instead of the show’s hosts/helpers complaining about having to build a piece of furniture to hold that fancy new TV – how about you go to someone’s house where they need something repaired? Instead of painting a mural on someone’s bedroom ceiling, help a poor family fix their leaky roof.

Maybe people don’t want to see the hard-luck human interest stories all the time, and I understand that. TV is supposed to be entertainment, and an escape. You don’t want to sit there on your comfy couch marveling at how some poverty-line family gets by and feeling like a jerk for not donating more to charity every year. But damn, people. There could be a little something for those people. Once in a while. Failing that, just once.