Aug 122012
 

This will be updated and promoted as necessary.  We are just getting started.  This will be a site dedicated to men and women who want to remember the “Good Old Days” and when people could say and so what they wanted to.  Then you were expected to tell someone they were stupid and they had to adapt.

There will be Consortium of Coots adding content and value!

The first of the coots are here:

Ralph Carlson: Check him out at http://ralphcarlsonblog.com/wordpress

And of course  Justin Matthews at http://justinsbrainpan.com

We also have incurred 2 female coots as of May 2010!

First, Jenn Jinright who blogs over at http://gurls-asylum.us

And secondly, Jillian, who is trying her hardest to make decent online cash at http://5kmission.com

There will be more coots and guest coots,

Please come back and enjoy the Cantankerous Content!

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Mar 112012
 

 

English: Google Streetview cars parking in fro...

Image via Wikipedia

Well folks, this is another edition of the CNS for March 11 2012.  Next week Ralph will be back form Venice and his cantankerous take on the news will be your to enjoy again.  As for today, I have a couple of things for you.  I didn’t dig as deep for news because, again, the news is just depressing.

Lets get started with: Outdoor urinator sues Google Streetview after being caught in the act

Now this is rather funny.  Google street view is fun to play with, we have used it to map out our trips to Disneyland in the past, and to see what our house looked like 3 years ago.  I have read stories about people flashing the camera and trying to get their body parts shown to the world.  But can’t a man pee in his driveway in peace?? Apparently not.

 US soldier kills 16 Afghans, deepening crisis

You know, I wholeheartedly support our troops but this makes me wonder.  What was the provocation and why are we treated to one side of the story and a sterile “we are looking into it” response?   I have to believe there was a reason and not just wanton slaughter.

User big brother 1984

Image via Wikipedia

At SXSW, apps buzz is location, location, location

It seems that SXSW is now Big Brother…I sense the government behind this somewhere.

Storied carrier, ‘the Big E,’ makes final voyage

It is the end of another era.  Another reminder of how things come and go, and how we are all destined for a scrapyard somewhere.

Carnival for testicular cancer raises funds, awareness

Raise your hand if you think that this story was chosen just so I could get the word ‘testicle’ in a post!  All of you? Correct.  I couldn’t pass up a carnival for testicles story.  Sure it is a good cause but I think I would be uncomfortable being there.  All I can think of is that game where you pound the lever with a hammer and try to hit the bell on top…smashing a testicle and shooting the thing up a giant penis toward the gong….

If you look, there is not anything related to a testicle at this thing.

 

And finally, Ralph sent me this story, it hit him even in Venice.

USDA BUYS 7 MILLION POUNDS OF ‘PINK SLIME’ FOR SCHOOL LUNCHES

My mixed feelings for this story have had me debating for 3 days.  First of all, this sounds like a bad idea.  I don’t want my kids eating Pink Slime.  It sounds like something they dump on you when you get a question wrong in that game show.  Then you see the process.  Even that has good and bad with it.  Use all the meat possible- Good.  That meat being fit for dogs until liberally doused with Ammonia? Bad.  This is exactly why my kids don’t get to eat school lunch anymore.

And it is all legal and sanctioned by the USDA, a government agency that is supposed to help us avoid things like this.  Check out some of the other links below about pink slime and prepare to be outraged.  Where is the FDA in all this?  We can’t get lifesaving medications approved for use in this country, ones that have been helping Europeans for years, but we can let our kids eat this crap???

I want to backhand someone.

Tell the USDA: Don’t buy any more pink slime for school lunches. Click here to automatically sign the petition.

Have a good week folks.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Mar 092012
 

Have you ever been sitting down doing something and realize that you  forgot to do something else that you promised yourself you would do?  Yea that is this post.  For some reason I have been a day behind all week.  Today does not seem like Friday.  Wednesday didn’t feel like Wenesday either and now I have 2 overdue books at the library.

So what to do?  just put something out there?  Bah.  that is bad blogging.  so I will ask a question, What do you do when you forget a post or something similar?  Do you hurry and get something out or just skip it?  I want to know down there in the comments.  As for me, I am going to hurry and scratch something out.  There have been way too many times that I have just skipped it.

I look forward to seeing responses to this.  Now I have to get back to the news…there is a doozy coming for Sunday.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Mar 042012
 

Hello folks.  You may have noticed that this post is not by the venerable Ralph.  He of course is in Italy either having a vacation or on some sort of work release program, based on the pictures he sent me.  Check them out for yourself and see what you think.

 Note the handcarts that Ralph must be using to shuttle things around Italy.

  This is the dock where Ralph takes pictures for people and offers his luggage shuttle service.

  And I believe this is a view from his cell hotel, where he can hear those confounded gondoliers crooning day and night.  And is it just me or is that an outboard motor on that boat?  I thought you had to use a pole and a goofy hat to get around Venice.

Of course Ralph just sent me the pictures with no explanations, so I am guessing on all of these.  Maybe I should make this a caption contest.  Anyway, Onto the NEWS!

United States of America

Image via Wikipedia

You know, there is a reason that I don’t watch the news.  It is damn depressing.  I didn’t search very far to find a plethora of despair and foolishness abounding in these United States of America.  If you notice, all of this crap is based from one site here in Salt Lake.  I shudder at what the future holds for us.

 

Police use Twitter to announce sex offender arrival

All I can say to this is I guess it will be a while longer before I let my kids use Twitter.  It is bad enough that sex-offenders have to announce it to their neighbors, but now,  the government will do it for you!

5 ways to get control of your teens’ cellphone usage

First things first, you want to control how much your teen uses their phone, dont give them a phone in the first place!  I am currently in the adamantly opposed camp of kids having cell phones.  There are several people around me that say things like “How do you know where your kids are” and “how can you keep them safe?”  Like me knowing where my kids are and being able to call them is not only a bit Big Brother but is it really going to keep them safe?  There will be a night that is snowing and icy and I am calling my teenager and they are trying to answer the phone and then the car spins out of control on the freeway and hits an embankment.  I guess I can give EMS the number so they can track down the car and my child’s lifeless body inside.  Whatever happened to trusting your kids?  I remember my mom saying “Stay in the neighborhood and come back for dinner”  that was all it took.  I stayed fairly close and I was ok.  When I got older I was fine telling my parents where I was going and they trusted me.  For the most part.  I think a lot of that trust was because they knew who I was.  They had spent time with me enough that they knew I wasn’t going to the den of sin every time I said I was at work.  maybe that is where this “Give the kid a cell phone” thing comes in, many parents don’t trust their kids because they barely know who they are.   I have spent most of the last 11 years at home raising my kids so I think I have a pretty good handle on who they are becoming.  And no matter how much they beg, they will not be getting cell phones any time soon.  They will just have to use their imaginations and come up with games that are not generated on a screen.  They will just have to deal with the fact that I can guess where they are going.  And don’t get me started on texting….

Thieves steal donations from local charity

All I want to say to this is firing squad.  How bad off are you to steal from a charity, and one that helps those with mental illness?  This sounds like kids doing the thievery but that is no excuse.  I am all in favor of public executions in the town square, broadcast live on TV, with a fine imposed or even a bench warrant issued if you don’t check in and watch.

Storms demolish small towns in Ind., Ky.; 34 dead

Mother Nature in yet another chilling reminder that we will never beat her.  God bless those who are affected….

Q&A: Google to dig deeper into users’ lives

Hi, have you met Big Brother er the Gestapo er the Communist party er Google??????  What sounds like a good idea to some sounds like just another way for the government to bend us over the barrel and scrutinize every little thing we do.  If this keeps up, it won’t be long before the First Amendment is a quaint footnote to history.

Disney forced to shut down anti-obesity exhibit amid criticisms

This one bothered the hell out of me.  First, Disney has put up a display to help kids lead healthier lives.  Not a bad idea.  Seems many places are doing it, the NFL has the Play 60 campaign and there are other get outside and play movements going on.  Even on my Wii once in a while it says to take a break and go outside.  Here Disney is trying to do this.  and there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance in this country???  WTF???  Really?  First off I am myself overweight but I am working hard to get rid of that weight.  I really want to be able to play with my grandkids in the future so being dead is not in the plan.  But, I know that I did it to myself.  I ate too much fast food and didn’t move around enough over the last few years.  Hell I spent basically 3 years sitting on my fat ass in the hospital or in the dialysis clinic with my daughter stuffing my pie hole with shit.  Not literally, of course, but here I am now.  This is another sad statement of society where there can exist a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, so people can just feel better about themselves and try to get the government to pay for their electric scooters.  Get out and walk around Disney World a few times and quit accepting fat as a handicap.

Father sues school district over son’s injuries

This story is high on my list of crap.  When I was a kid we would take sleds to school and ride the hills down to the mud and then slide some more.  If we got hurt, too bad Charlie, you weren’t careful enough.  This kid hit a rock and broke his jaw?  Why go down head first?  This would have happened if there was an adult there or not, the kid was being dumb.  Back in the day, kids were dumb.  You learned to be smart by flipping over the handlebars or skinning your knees with the roller skates or falling off of a sled.  Who should be responsible for this?  Couldn’t possibly be the kid, or even his parents who haven’t taught him how to slide down a hill with little snow on it.  It must be the school.  And the district.  I call Bullshit and hope that the judge not only throws the case out, but charges the father all of the court costs.  And if he doesn’t pay, teach him how to slide face first into that prison mattress…I’m just saying.

 

Well folks, I hope that you have been somewhat enlightened today and still find the CNS your source for news.  Ralph may be back next week if he does enough community service in Venice, or spends enough money so that they let him leave.  If not, I will be back next week.  And there may be video…

So, for today, Goodnight from the CNS…

-Justin

 

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Travel Like a Coot

 Posted by at 04:12  principles
Feb 082012
 

Life’s a bitch..and then you die!

Coot Kiss

Coot Kiss (Photo credit: stewartmorris)

Heaven knows that the lifestyle of a Cantankerous Old Coot isn’t easy. It might seem glamorous and all but fame and fortune don’t come without a price. And then there is actually living up to the title. You have to be on your toes every minute, With all those messages urging you to take the well-worn path of ordinary, charting your own course through life takes determined and dogged commitment. You have to fight the urges to just settle for what everybody else does and do something special. Travel is no exception.

Travel these days means cruises. You can’t avoid the commercials showing happy people eating or playing on cruise ships. It’s like water torture except with pretty pictures. It is so hard to resist. What’s not to like? Lots of food in exotic locals while you are safely isolated from any of the harsh realities of actually visiting a foreign country, trying to understand a foreign language and deal with a foreign culture. You are quarantined in luxurious digs surrounded by shlubs just like you. And you have a crew whose job is to make sure you are happy while you float through alien cultures without ever having to engage. And did I mention the food?

Disclaimer. 

SAN DIEGO - NOVEMBER 11: Stranded Carnival Spl...

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

OK, I confess that this Coot has never been on a cruise. I have been tempted by the commercials just like everyone else. I feel the call of all that fun, all that service and the promise of 24 hour food service. Even a committed Coot finds it difficult to resist the Siren call of the seven day cruise to paradise. In spite of everything, however,  this Coot is still a cruise virgin and it’s not so much from my own inner strength as from that of my wife who has an overwhelming fear of any endeavor designed to make her happy.  Logic tells her that the parties involved are either very sick or have some ulterior motive.

I think this probably comes from exposure to the Love Boat TV show back in the day but that is just my guess. I’ve invested a life-time in trying to understand my wife and I am still a long way from mastery. The best I can manage is to accept that I’ve have inexplicably got myself a good thing and to avoid doing anything that messes it up. So it is that the Carlson’s have escaped cruise mania.

So how does a committed Coot travel?

At the camel market

Engage in a new culture

Cruises may be off the table but still what’s the point of retirement if it means staying home and staring at the walls? Waiting around to die is so unsatisfying. Any Coot worth his salt wants new experiences to sweeten the wait. Not the empty calories of a seven day cruise or a Caribbean resort but something with high fiber and micro nutrients to feed the soul. No pre-digested travel pablum will satisfy a real Coot. Coots need to engage real life in a foreign clime.

So what is our plan?

The goal is to immerse ourselves into life in some exotic locale and avoid the tourist mentality by learning what real life is all about in a foreign land. So to start, we picked a city we would love to know better and rented an apartment. Two weeks is not enough to become a native but it is surely long enough to test the practicality of our plan. If we start longing for our old conventional lifestyle before our visit is over then maybe a cruise is all we want out of life. On the other hand if two weeks only tells us how much there is left to explore then we are ready for Plan B- a month or two for the next trip.

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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