Feb 232015
 
A General Motors LS3 Engine in a 2008 Corvette.

Image via Wikipedia

Are you getting a bit older? I know that Ol Ralph is up there approaching triple digits, and I think Justin is down there in the thirties or so, and I’m kind of stuck here in the middle in my mid fifties, and I think most of our readers are up there in the “second childhood” area. Some are probably like me, just never bothering to grow up. Others are likely like Ralph, suffering from old-timers disease.

Regardless of how you find yourself getting to your second childhood, you are probably ready for a grownup toy.

Boy, has Cadillac got your number. It’s a stupid toy, but it definitely falls into the bracket of “big boys’ toys” while giving mama something (stupid) to play with as well.

Cadillac decided to crossbreed station wagons and Corvettes. Now, right there ya gotta get the idea just how stupid the idea of this car is. I don’t care if the station wagon and the corvette get married or not, the result is still going to be a bastard.

You would think General Motors would learn. The corvette itself is a bastard child of an ill conceived crossbreed. Chevrolet got the idea that they could cross the sportiness of a true sports car with the luxury that soft-assed Americans were used to …and the Corvette was born. It was too heavy and lumbering to be a sports car, and too small and tight fitting to be a luxury car. The fact that it’s been so popular for 50 years is a tribute to American Advertising, the gullibility of the American buyer, or both.

Well, apparently General Motors is counting on American stupidity and good advertising to come through for them again.

The new car is a station wagon (Doh!) With a 500 plus horsepower Corvette engine. It will accelerate from zero to 60 miles per hour in 4 seconds, and has a top speed of (Holy speeding ticket, Batman!)…are you ready for this?… 190 miles per hour. In a Cadillac. Station wagon. Probably with a “Baby on Board” window dangly thing in the back window. And junior strapped to his car seat.

The price tag is north of $70,000.

Why do I give a rats ass, and why should you? Because we, you and I, now own General Motors, and I don’t think Madison Avenue is going to get as lucky this time.

Oh well, at least it will be good for the hot mamas that wind up with one. Maybe their snotty brats will quit complaining about being picked up from school in a station wagon.

 

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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Feb 232015
 

limericksI have to confess that I have always loved limericks.  I like the rhythm, the way you can play with the accent and push near rhymes.  Finally I love the way that limericks are never serious.  Nobody would ever write a love poem in limerick form.  So when I sat down to compose a cantankerous post for today, my mind drifted and before you know it I was creating limericks.   They aren’t masterpieces but I modestly claim them as adequate.  Comments are appreciated as are any of your own limericks to complement this post.

Cantankerosity

So cantankerous was Bobby Jim,
with a physiognomy so grim
That he barely could smile
To mask  lying and guile
Causing folks to stay distant from him.

Facebook

Winning friends is the call of the day
Influencing them – making them stay
Dale Carnegie’s dictum
In extremis is sick-dom
Facebook friendships make Dale’s seem passe.

Middle Age Spread

Tim was lean, mean and fit- a role model
of healthy prime manhood , no twaddle,
But his appetite grew
’till his belt buckle blew
Now his swagger has turned to a waddle.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feb 232015
 

Well folks it is now Wednesday and most of the turkey should be flushed from your system and allowing you to get back to work.  It has been a weekend.  Now, the fun begins.  Holiday shopping.  Black Friday was last week.  My wife said it was a good day, there were only 2 stabbings during the rush to get the deals.

Let’s look now at what the rest of the season holds.  Twinkly lights, fat guys in red suits, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding as you try to enter every store.  All of this and money.  Your hard earned money draining from your wallet and into other people’s coffers.  And yes, credit cards count in this, unless, you are planning on charging everything and then running off to another part of the country with a new name and letting Visa figure it out.  If that is you, morepow er to you, I hope the electric chair is comfortable.

For the rest of us, it gets trickier.  You see I don’t have any credit cards.  I don’t want them, I don’t need them.  I can’t handle them responsibly in my opinion so I don’t use them.  Which gets sticky at this time of year when almost all of our income is used for things like rent, power, gas (oh yes we are running on fumes close to payday).  How to buy Christmas presents for 4 little kids?  Extra work.

For me, it should be any work at all.  I could make more money tomorrow, if I got a piece of cardboard and a marker and hung out by WalMart.  So please shop at amazon through our affiliate link over there in the sidebar.  It will pay for the hosting to keep this site up and running and give me that much more from my wife’s paycheck to spend for Christmas.  But I digress.

Is it the things we get for Christmas that make us happy?  Sometimes.  Is it truly the thought that counts?  Maybe.  Is there a giant wad of cash that is going to be dropped from my bank account in the next 3 weeks?  Yes.  Should we just give each other cash and forget about it?  Should we just give up the gift thing altogether?  Probably.  A couple of years ago we decided that we were not going to buy presents for the family, at least kid to kid.  They would have to make or otherwise modify something for a gift.  That has been fun to actually make the gifts for each other.

This year we are trying to follow the same formula but it really seem slike most of the good ideas are gone and what is the point anymore?  Icarved some stone charms and made necklaces for the kids last year as good luck charms.  I have all of them in a cup on my desk now, picked up from the floors and various other places in the house.  Nowhere near their necks as good luck charms.  I am thinking that this year I will give them a stick and let them figure out what it is for.  Then, after we get back from getting stitches and a concussion taken care of, I will be smiling on the inside.

So, this Christmas season is fast approaching.  Gifts are expected.  Gifts will be given and received.  What are you planning on doing about all of this nonsense?  Me, I would just like a nap.

talk later.

-Justin

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Feb 232015
 

Editors Note:  Today’s post comes to us from the lovely Heather Craik all the way from Edinburgh, Scotland.  She is quite the prolific writer and apparently a good ranter as well.  Stop by her site at shadesofadream.com and show her some appreciation via traffic and comments! Now: onto the rant!


Have you ever been in one of those situations where, after being off ill for a week, you return and instantly get blind-sided?

Further, let’s say you have a meeting the day you get back where you have to present your ideas on something.  Heck, let’s pretend you’ve even had the idea worked out for weeks in advance.

Here’s the funny thing about being ill and not having anything to do for a week; you start to wonder if that idea you have is really such a good idea after all.  Can you complete it on time?  Is it too ambitious?  Wouldn’t it be better if you just scaled it back a bit and polished more?

In a moment of un-cootishness I decided to bow to the little voice

Bad move.  It seems to encourage people to think you’re not putting enough effort in.  You know, and to compare you to people you’d normally far surpass unfavourably.

However, my rant today isn’t about my not being prepared fully (its my own fault for switching designs at the last minute), or even about being off ill for a week.  Nor is it about incorrect-  well, actually it IS about incorrect assumptions.  Just not from tutor/boss/person you’re presenting too that should really know better.

Communication

See the thing that really showed me up was the fact that everyone else had something to present on the screen, while I was still assuming that we were all going to use sketches.  Normally I’d have gone ahead and made the jump to computer anyway, but with the situation being what it was I didn’t have the time.  En fin.

However.

If anyone else in class had been off ill I would have contacted them to keep them in the loop at least once, usually the day before they’re due back.  It’s only courtesy after all, and no one likes to be caught with their pants down in public (unless that’s your thing of course).  In fact, if we want to get really technical I spoke to every one of them in the time I was away; no mention of any changes of plan.

I really don’t like being made to look bad.

Ill or not I could have made the time to get something mocked up, had I been aware of the need.  It takes less than five minutes (actually, less than one if you do it right) to pass on a piece of pertinent information.  Sometimes it’ll even save them 10 minutes of uncharacteristic ridicule.  Imagine that.

Oh, and the part I really hate in all this?

I had to grin and bear it like a champ.  Two reasons; my ‘excuse’ would have been that I didn’t get the time needed because I was ill and had no access to the resources (which, as it happens, is true), and the person doing the talking has the power to fail me.  At any point someone else could have said something to diffuse the situation.

Taking one for the team, bitch style.  Thanks guys.

Thanks again for the post Heather.  If you are reading this share it with the world via linked in, stumble upon, digg, facebook or Twitter!  The comment section is open and waiting for you…

Feb 232015
 
Sign at the entrance of Sun City West, Arizona
Image via Wikipedia

Where is Global Warming when you need it?

This Coot is frustrated today. It may be just the weather. It is only December and we’ve got frost. What ever happened to that global warming thing? Wherever it went, bring it back because I need it. Still, I’d probably be frustrated even if if weren’t freezing because my life is boring. Something is wrong here. It’s not the way it happens on TV. I did the right stuff. I went to college as long as I could get away with it. I got a job- it was even an ‘interesting’ job. Then I retired. I followed the plan. I put up with serious shit and smiled even when I hated it. Then put my nose down, did the energizer bunny thing and got another job and then another. Then I won! I got to retire. Now I want my reward.

And what’s up with retirement?

So, I’m sitting around in my retirement bliss wondering where is all the fun. I put up with big time inconvenience for all my adult life so that one day I would get to retire and do what I wanted. Isn’t that what fun is all about? Thinking back, nobody was ever very clear about what that fun would be. The TV ads always show golf courses but since I never had time to play golf I would first have to learn. Going back to school again doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Then apparently when you retire you are supposed to go live with other old fogies. Apparently retirement fun is living in some place with a golf course along with a swarm of happy, semi-conscious old people sipping wine and watching the sunsets. Can you spell B O R I N G?

Did I get snookered big time? Is the Pope catholic?

Maybe I should have learned golf.

Maybe I should stop struggling. Maybe I should learn to play the golf and live in one of those senior communities. Let’s say that I’ve managed to put away enough money to move to one of those golf course ghettos. Would my life be better? I don’t think so. First, I’d be broke from buying into the place and couldn’t afford to travel. I’d be stuck there forever. Then I’d be surrounded by mindless twits who play golf all day. What would I talk about? And who could I talk to? When you live in a place like that, how often do you see people from the real world? How often would my family actually visit me and provide intelligent conversation? My retirement may be boring now but if I lived in a golf ghetto, I would be pleading for Alzheimer’s to take me into oblivion. That is no life for a self-respecting coot.

It is a serious existential question.

Dust off the Kierkegaard. Dig out the Sartre. What even made me buy into this retirement trap of happy senility? If there is a solution to my retirement problem, then I guess it is up to me to find it. Society has certainly let me down. If I had waked up sooner, I might have paddled up a different creek and become a rock star because they seem to go on forever. Never mind it won’t do me much good to cry about it now. I’ve got to take my boring life to a new plateau. I need to find something fulfilling to do and keep warm while doing it. Something that doesn’t require so much discipline. Forget golf. I’ll take up pyromania.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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