Plain 'ol Cantankerous

Hey Al…send global warming, please!

Posted by Bob@HayleStorm Interactive at 05:55 Coot Comedy, Plain 'ol Cantankerous

Sep 042011

: Cover of Al Gore

AlGore used to irritate me. All of his pseudo-science based bullshit about the threat of global warming pissed me off on several levels.

First off, I hate hypocrisy, and when I see a jackass like Gore preaching “protect the environment” at symposiums attended by “leaders” who arrived on private jets carrying 2-3 people each, rather than on fuel efficient commercial airliners…I lose all interest.

(I must admit, however, that I paid enough attention to note that last winter there were several “global warming” meetings cancelled due to severe cold and snow. How’s that global warming thing working out for you there, Al? ***snicker, snicker, snicker***)

In fairness, it’s not just good ol’ Al that shows such hypocrisy. I used to subscribe to Mother Earth News (yes, I put up with their left leaning politics. Their self-sufficiency articles were good.)

Then they put John Jr or Joe or some other Kennedy brat on the cover plugging his interview inside that month’s issue…an interview on…what else…global warming. Guess where the cover photo was taken? Beside the private jet he had just arrived in, coming to Los Angeles from Martha’s Vineyard just for the interview in that waste of jet fuel.

So much for Mother Earth News…it was nice knowing ya.

Anyway, now I’m willing to have a truce with AlGore, at least temporarily. You see, I have 5-6 inches of his global warming on my front porch right now, and down here in Georgia we don’t have snow shovels. No matter that I’m only 60 miles north of Atlanta…the same Atlanta with only two white Christmases in history, the most recent in 1882…according to Al we are still in the middle of a global heat wave…so I’d like to ask a favor of good ol’ Al:

Please send me some of that heat wave stuff.

Not a lot…I don’t want to warm up all of Georgia…just the half mile or so surrounding me so my neighbors and I can move around a bit. I think you could probably get enough of your global heat wave in a box that UPS could deliver that would get the job done.

Al, if you’ll send that, I’d appreciate it and I’ll get off your hypocritical ass…at least a little bit. I’ll consider it a late Christmas present.

Oooppss…

Never mind, Al…

There is too much of your global warming BS on the roads for the UPS delivery truck to get to my house.

Oh no, Al Gore is freaking out again! (thedaleygator.wordpress.com)
Global Warming is a Hoax! (socyberty.com)

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

Coot’s Christmas? Bah Humbug!

Posted by Ralph at 08:03 Plain 'ol Cantankerous

Sep 022011

: Image via Wikipedia

It’s Christmas- Feel the love?

It’s just part of my cantankerous nature to shun the shopping frenzy of the season but up until now it was impossible to avoid completely. With kids you have to get the spirit because it is part of the contract. Now that I’m retired I spend more time with my wife which is good but often the time is spent accompanying her while she is shopping. This isn’t bad so long as I don’t have to do anything but it does force me to participate in insanities I would otherwise avoid like stores. These days I find that the Christmas season still has all the frenzy that I remember but I can no longer find the spirit.

Bring back the good old days.

When I was a kid, there was magic at Christmas. Department stores would compete to have the best Santa display, devoting whole floors to creating a winter wonderland. They also competed to create the best store windows. (When is the last time you saw a store window?) My family would go downtown (25 miles from the farm) just to visit Santa and see the display windows. Of course today anyplace but New York, and San Francisco downtowns are dead as are all the competing department stores. These days Macy’s stands alone. Shopping malls didn’t come along until later but even then, downtown was where the action was.

Malls leave me cold

I don’t much like shopping malls. It has been six months since I visited a mall and a year since I actually spent any money there. They have the crowds; they have decorations;.they have Santa but they don’t have any spirit for me. It is all just empty noise. I’ll be doing my shopping on line. It is easy but there lies the rub. I’m just going through the numbers. I don’t have any Christmas spirit and I don’t know what I can do about it. There is no hassle. No panic. No frustration about finding a parking spot. I am calm cool and collected waiting for the UPS guy to deliver. I just don’t have any Christmas spirit this year.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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I’ll be damned..Bob showed up!

Posted by Bob@HayleStorm Interactive at 08:04 Bob's Politics, Headline News, Plain 'ol Cantankerous, Podcast

Jul 182011

Yeah, yeah, yeah…so I’ve missed a few Mondays. Well…I’m here today with something new…

As a mea culpa, I return bearing gifts…or at least one gift…ME ON VIDEO!

All seriousness aside…there are two differences on the Monday posts:

1.) They’ll be more regular (I promise!)

2.) Mondays will be all video, all the time.

Enjoy.

The videos will have me in them…of course you’ll enjoy them!

[powerpress]

Todays show includes:

A shoutout to a regular Cantankerous Old Coots visitor. Is it you?

Some things the Monday videos will include as topics.

ONE thing they will not have as a topic.

And the topic de jour…Carmegeddon.

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Contributing to the delinquency of a Street Sweeper: Oil Stains

Posted by Justin at 11:15 Plain 'ol Cantankerous, principles, rants

Mar 182011

Oil. It is here, it is there, it is all around us. Our bodies produce oils that stain pillows and hats much like Ralph’s Brylcream. There is however some oil that gives issues to the powers that be. The Powers that be being the city. Out in front of my house, on the street are 2 very good size oil stains.

They have been there for 4 years. They were caused by a cracked block on my old truck. Despite all of the times that our street has been swept by the city, the oil stains remain. There is also a fairly substantial stain on my driveway from the time my power steering pump blew a hose. And the time that I was changing the oil and the wind started blowing the oil harder than gravity or surface tension could keep it in a column.

The point of all this is that for better or worse we live in a world that is run largely by oil. We cook with it, we run our cars with it, we put it on the hinges of a squeaky door or a wooden countertop (new ones use a lot of oil for a while, another coat goes on this afternoon here). Oil also is a highly staining substance that soap cannot always foil, and can defy steel brushes, rain, snow, salt and time.

I can sit here and look across the way at my neighbors driveway where he recently parted out one of his trucks and the oil stain he has is larger than the truck itself. and will he ever be getting rid of it? Probably not, it is in the gravel part so until it is paved there is a stain. You can look almost anywhere and see oil stains. Parking lots, driveways, roads, the shirt I’m wearing today.

Oil is here to stay at least for my lifetime. That means that stains are here as well. Might as well get used to them and while we don’t have to quit complaining about them, I can’t wait for the street sweeper to come around again and see him back up and try to do something about the oil stain.

Victim and driver in San Diego street sweeper death identified; it just gets sadder (bikinginla.wordpress.com)

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Saving the best for last, this week at least.

Posted by Justin at 06:28 Plain 'ol Cantankerous, principles

Jan 142011

: Image via Wikipedia

This has been an interesting week. We started a new contest here at the Coots. We were trying to see who could write the best post, in terms of generating discussion. Bob started off snarky and then Ralph went all sugary sweet and praising.

Enough to make me sick. All of it. In the end, Bob has the most comments on his post, I think he is paying some big bucks to win this little contest. Now really, do you folks need any more of Bob?

Small poll here:

[wp_surveys]

That’s what I thought. Now I am not exactly sure what to do with this post. I should just sit under my tree and let the delicate sound of the kettlebell inspire more creativity.

In fact, my first instinct was to just shut up and let my creative superiority ebb and flow across the coots so that everyone is under my benevolent spell. My second instinct is to crack my knuckles and write a post to make angels weep and the sun turn away in fear.
Continue reading »

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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It’s Christmas- Feel the love?

Bring back the good old days.

Malls leave me cold

As a mea culpa, I return bearing gifts…or at least one gift…ME ON VIDEO!

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