Jul 312011
 
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Image by Thomas Hawk via Flickr

 

We’re lucky to live in the United States

where we are free from government coersion and control of our lives but once in a while our government needs to step in to solve a problem that’s just too big for us ordinary folks to handle. Take the energy situation for example. Civilization needs energy to keep going but it seems like all the ways to get energy are expensive and full of pollution. Like I said, it’s way too complicated for us ordinary folk to handle. That’s why we have government isn’t it. There are all those dimensions like manufacturing, staying comfortable and getting around. Take automobiles. You need a car to get around but gas costs an arm and a leg (and maybe your firstborn son, to boot). You can buy one of those hybrids if you’ve got a trust fund but most of us drive cars that use gas. What can you do?  It’s a big problem.  Well in one fell stroke, the governent has eliminated the problem. If you could drive twice as far on a tank of gas all your problems would be solved? Right!. Stop worrying. With the stoke of a pen, now all cars have to get 54 miles to the gallon. Is there any problem that can’t be solved by government?

Fuel efficiency: Will new rules cure US addiction to foreign oil?

When you live in a democracy, voting is one of the most important rights. Sometimes with all the benefits and comforts today, it’s hard to keep that responsibility. There is just so much more to do that’s fun. Voting gets to be a pain.  Sometimes it takes a little incentive to get us to take that responsibility seriously.

MARIJUANA CLINIC OFFERS FREE POT TO PATIENTS WHO REGISTER TO VOTE

Moving right along , sometimes we think that the US makes all the scientific breakthroughs. We forget that serious scientific research and development is now a worldwide activity. Just to make that point clear, here is just on example of the cutting edge work from Korea.

SOUTH KOREAN SCIENTISTS CREATE $3 MILLION GLOW-IN-THE-DARK DOG

Now you will never again trip over the dog when you come in late.

I don’t have much good to say about lawyers. If you need one you are in serious shit and it’s going to cost you big time but I can’t help wondering if isn’t because most of our politicians are lawyers. You know the saying ‘when you’re a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail’. Well, I’m wondering if we didn’t have so many damn lawyers if we might have less serious shit to deal with. Anyway today I found a warm and fuzzy lawyer story. It might make you feel a little better the next time you hit some serious shit.

WOMAN GOES INTO LABOR DURING BAR EXAM, HAS BABY RIGHT AFTER

Finally a fitting tribute to an American (well maybe Austrian-American) super hero, the former Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger who’se been going through a rough patch these days. At least he’s getting some well-deserved appreciation from his homeland.

Arnold Schwarzenegger museum opens in Austrian hometown

That’s the good news for this week. Bought your gold yet?

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 182011
 

Yeah, yeah, yeah…so I’ve missed a few Mondays.  Well…I’m here today with something new…

As a mea culpa, I return bearing gifts…or at least one gift…ME ON VIDEO!

All seriousness aside…there are two differences on the Monday posts:

1.)  They’ll be more regular (I promise!)

2.)  Mondays will be all video, all the time.

Enjoy.

The videos will have me in them…of course you’ll enjoy them!

[powerpress]

 

Todays show includes:

A shoutout to a regular Cantankerous Old Coots visitor.  Is it you?

Some things the Monday videos will include as topics.

ONE thing they will not have as a topic.

And the topic de jour…Carmegeddon.

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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Jul 172011
 
Adult male Grand Cayman Blue Iguana. Photo by ...

Image via Wikipedia

 I’m so excited!

The good news abounds this week. I just don’t know where to start so lets just begin with the story with the biggest hype- the new Harry Potter movie. From what I read it’s a blockbuster. It just another demonstration to me of our failing civilization and culture to see the world go gaga over upper class British prep school wizards. Sorry, I just can’t relate. I was mildly curious at the first one but the boarding school venue and the outlandish happenings left me happy to pass on any more visits to Hogwarts. I mean those kids don’t even play soccer or polo. They ride dragons.

So you may wonder why I include this new blockbuster in the good news. As usual these days you have to work to make anything good news and the good news here is that THIS IS THE LAST ONE! There won’t be any more of this damn silliness.

Final Harry Potter movie opens in theaters

The rest of this week’s stories take less manipulation. You can see the benefit immediately. Take flying cars. I’ve been taunted by the promise of flying cars for most of my life. They were always going to save us from rush hour traffic but the problem was they were always promised and never delivered. Well, at long last, the wait is over because in Florida you are going to be able to get one and pull it into your garage.

THE FUTURE IS HERE: THESE ‘TRANSITION’ FLYING CARS APPROVED AS ‘STREET LEGAL’

And there is more good news from Florida. Graffiti which plagues cities all over the states has become a tourist attraction in Miami. Whether this says that Graffiti artists are more talented in Florida or just that Florida knows how to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, it just demonstrates that PT Barnum was right.

Graffiti tours turn Miami street art into attraction

Right and left, endangered species are falling off the list. Apparently the sky is not falling like the green nuts keep telling us because as we learned from Jurassic Park, “Life will find a way.” First the blue iguana rebounds.

Blue iguana rebounds from extinction

Next we learn that two leopards have been hiding.

Good News for 2 Rare Leopard Species [Video]

But there is more good news. You know how you keep hearing about drinking 8 glasses of water a day. It’s been bugging me for years. Nobody ever cared how many glasses of water I drank as a kid- or how many sodas either. They somebody claiming to be a scientist started fussing about drinking enough water and telling you that enough meant eight was the right amount. Then you started seeing people carrying water bottles around with them- in the car and at office meetings. It seemed nutty until everybody was doing it. Well it turns out that it is nutty. You don’t need to drink eight glasses of water a day- or even seven or six. Now the word is that you drink when you are thirsty. What a concept. God had it all figured out. There isn’t a quota and your body knows when it needs water. It’s enough to make you lose faith in science.

Eight Glasses of Water a Day Is ‘Nonsense’

And the final good news is about our favorite young vocalist. Not only is our young man lucky in love. He turns out to be a great business man as well. His new fragrance is breaking records,

Justin Bieber fragrance ‘Someday’ could shatter celeb scent records; Likely best seller of 2011

This is definitely a red letter day for good news. Don’t expect every week to be this good. Read each of these stories carefully and savor them. They may need to last you for some time.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 102011
 
LONDON - NOVEMBER 16:  In this photo illustrat...

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

 

I think the reporters are getting it.

There is actually some good news this week even if you have to tease the stories a bit to make it work. It’s all in the interpretation. The President has been talking about job creation for years now. First it was with lazer-like focus and then we heard that it’s his first thought upon getting out of bed each day. Despite that concentration, the man has to be frustrated because those jobs have been slow in coming. Well that is about to change. Nobody is telling the details but apparently now, the President has it all figured out. How do I know? It’s this headline from today.

Top Obama adviser says unemployment won’t be key in 2012

Something big is coming. Now the President is going to get serious and make those jobs appear. And it gets better!  Not only will jobs not be a problem, the President wants to solve the mortgage problem as well- or at least part of it. If you don’t get one of those new jobs the President is creating and stay unemployed, he wants to pay your mortgage for you. You can’t lose under the Presidents two pronged approach, either you get a job or he pays your mortgage. It doesn’t get much sweeter than that. Arnn’t you proud to be an American?

NO JOB? OBAMA NOW SAYS YOU MAY NOT HAVE TO PAY YOUR MORTGAGE FOR A FULL YEAR

There are also good signs from Congress which is about to back away from banning incandescent light bulbs. Those old standard light bulbs were given a death sentence a few years back. Congress wanted to force everybody to use those funny compact florescents that your electric company keeps urging you to buy. (Does it ever make you wonder what is wrong with America today when the electric compnay- which supposedly makes money by selling you electricity- will pay you to use less? Who makes up the difference? This being America, it’s you the taxpayer. You the taxpayer are paying your electric company to pay you to turn off your air conditioner and buy crummy light bulbs. This happens because of the kind help of your elected representatives. But I degress.) Anyway Congress is having second thoughts about telling you what to buy until they are sure they can legally make you buy health insurance so, for now, they will reconsider letting you buy any old light bulb you want.

House GOP set to repeal incandescent bulb ban

If you are like me, you hate those self checkout lanes at stores. They are confusing, annoying and demeaning ways to separate you from your money. What clearer signal can you get from a retailer that you, the customers, are an annoying inconvenience than to eliminate completely any human interface in the buying process. I don’t know about you but if I want to eliminate human beings from my life, there isn’t anything I can’t buy on the internet and get delivered where my embarrassments are private and not public. The good news this week is that retailers may finally be recognizing that human beings might be an advantage in the retail market. One grocery company is getting rid of its self-checkout lanes.

Major grocer getting rid of self-checkout lanes

The final bit of good news is about higher education. You know those guilt trips that everybody suffers because they haven’t put aside a couple hundred thousand dollars to put their kid through a ‘good’ school. Well the word is out. College is a scam. Bill Gates, Michael Dell and Richard Branson never graduated from college. Save your money.  Get your kid a job- or better set him up in business.

The College Scam

Or maybe blow it on a cruise. I hear you can get some screaming deals these days.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jun 262011
 
Sunflowers in Fargo, North Dakota.

Image via Wikipedia

Continuing the quest for good news!

Mixed results today as the Coots News Service searched for signs of good news in the media. With school out and people taking vacations, you would expect a more carefree mood even among the gloom promoters in the media. It’s too early in the political season, for the government to start bombarding us with what a wonderful job they have done in restoring the country to economic vitality.  That won’t start coming until later.

So looking further we find that the Japanese are workikng to repair the radioactivity from their damaged nuclear power plants by growing sunflowers. I always associate sunflowers with Kansas– the sunflower state, where my parents were born. What could be more cheerfull than fields of sunflowers all over Japan just soaking up all that errant radioactivity. If’s even better because all around the world, people can help by growing sunflowers and sending the seeds to Japan. No explanation about what to do with all the radioactive sunflower seeds however.

Sunflowers to clean radioactive soil in Japan

In Russia, another example of botched news reporting. Miraculously, a woman pronounced dead in a local hospital wakes up at her funeral. It’s good news if you stop there, unfortnately the reporters just can’t let well enough alone. They have to give your the whole story.

Russian woman, Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, dies at her own funeral after being mistaken for dead

Closer to home, tbe state of Nevad has taken a stand on increasing road safety by approving legislation that eliminates the biggest threat to safety on the roads today, the drivers. In Nevada, from now on you can let your car do the driving. I don’t have a clue what Google has to do with this but maybe the video can tell us.

Google good news: Nevada’s yes to driverless cars

Canada, our neighbor to the north, provides the US with many things- Comedians come to mind. Someone should do a study about why Canadian comedians flee to the US. Still Canada provides us with inspiration for social issues. It all started with socialized medicine, a specialty in the great white north and moving south but there is another social trend in Canada as well- sexless children.

SORT OF A TREND: RAISE YOUR KID TOTALLY ‘GENDER NEUTRAL’

Talk about an important issue for today. With all the issues caused by sex and the trouble that kids get into because of it, what could be better than getting rid of sex altogether. Heck, if you don’t know that sex exists and can’t tell a man from a woman, how could you get into trouble? Those Canadians are brilliant.

Finally for good news we fall back on our old standby- Justin Bieber. The plucky lad just launched his frangrance line at Macy’s and despite all the crowds and mayhem, our hero is doing just fine.

Justin Bieber gets tackled during fragrance unveiling in New York

Good news is still hard to find but I’m encouraged by today’s stories suggest that reporters may be responding to our program. Support the good news cause by ignoring bad news and spreading the good.  Got some good news you want to share.  Add it in a comment.

 


Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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