Oct 302011
 
Cover of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers&...

Cover of Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Burned out with politicians

I don’t think there is any group of people for which I have more contempt and frustration today than politicians. Now it is always easy to have contempt for the politicians on the ‘other’ side. I’m not talking about that. The politicians I really can’t stand are those that pretend to be on my side of the political spectrum. To a man (at COC we very strongly take the position that the pronoun ‘man’ is generic and includes both sexes without discrimination) every politician seems to undergo some ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers‘ moment after election and become an alien who speaks in code, has no honor and thinks that voters are dumber than doorknobs. From my side of the politics, it’s hard to know if voters on the other side feel the same way about their politicians. Since they are dumb enough to vote those lying scum bags into office, it is hard for me to imagine that they would even notice how they are betrayed and misled. Still, I suspect that this contempt for politicians goes beyond party affiliation or political philosophy. I think we all know, whichever side we are on that the people we send to Washington are worthless dirt bags. We rationalize the stupidity of our behavior by saying that our worthless dirt bags are better than the other side’s worthless dirt bags.

And so we feel OK.

The whole election process is so grueling and demeaning that real human beings turn away in horror from the idea of running for elected office. Our candidates are all masochists, psychopaths or suckers and getting elected takes them to full out sociopath level. Trying to find a real , sincere human being on the ballot is a hopeless task. Which brings me to Herman Cain.

THE NUMBERS ARE IN: HERMAN CAIN’S STRANGE SMOKING AD IS PAYING OFF 

I know that some will reject Mr. Cain outright because they can’t support a candidate who thinks that Americans can do better without all the government intervention. But I’m asking all you government-dependent suck ups to cool your jets for a moment and just consider the man himself. If he has managed to score in the polls, it’s not because he’s a union whore dependent on the labor leaders. There aren’t any big corporate sponsors either. And all you have to do is listen to the man for a moment to know why. No filters! No pandering to special interests. No layers of political speak.

He’ll never make it to the finish line.

Have you wondered how and why the country has gone loony over the last 50 years? Granted , you have to have a few years under your belt to actually know what this country used to be like but I believe that even a relatively young 40 year old knows that America is not the home of the free when smokers are forced to huddle in the alley under an umbrella to get a smoke and it is illegal to smoke a cigarette in a city park because of the horror of second hand smoke. I don’t smoke. I have never smoked. I hate the smell of cigarette smoke and always request non-smoking hotel rooms. But I know that the American way of life is dead when people are not free to light up a fag. Free enterprise invented smoking and non-smoking zones and life went on without jackbooted thugs to make sure that no whiff of smoke ever inadvertently entered your lungs.

So three cheers for Herman Cain

So even if Herman Cain was not a creature on my side of politics, I’d be singing his praises as a real human being and wishing him well with his political career. If only there were more honesty and transparency in politics and politicians maybe we wouldn’t have the mess we have today and maybe there would be elected officials that we could really like and respect.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Oct 092011
 
faster than light..

As you avid readers of the Coot’s News Service know, we have abandoned our comprehensive news report on whatever we can find good in the news for a good old fashioned rant about how it is all going to hell in a hand basket. While you might think that this makes it easy for our reporters, you would be very wrong. Finding good news was a time consuming pain but it was no less difficult than deciding what story is more deserving of a rant- a big challenge in these progressive times. Well, this week it is easy. Einstein was wrong! And the boomers are scared shitless.

Heads of top physics labs wary of speed of light findings but see beyond Einstein

If I didn’t fear the copywrite police, you’d be listening to REM crooning in the background. These days you would think they’d be grateful for any publicity they can get. You will just have to use your imaginations. For my unnamed generation that predates the boomers, this is no big deal. We are used to handling things by ourselved, Nobody held our hands. Our parents had a war to win. Einstein was a big deal because he had something to do with the bomb that finally ended the damn thing. We liked results. Boomers go for feelings, especially their own.

Relatively Speaking, we don’t get it.

We never really got the ‘relativity’ thing anyway but this is going to shake up boomers who grew with E=mc² thinking.  To them “It’s all relative.”

Well, if these Europeans are right, it’s not all relative. Some particles are more equal than others.

European neutrinos don’t know their place.

That’s right some impudent European neutrinos were clocked going faster than the speed of light on their way from Switzerland to Italy. That means that you’d be hit by the neutrino before you could see it coming. Mind blowing! But if it is true it means that Einsteing is all wet.

Batten the hatches! 

As usual the scientific establishment (probably dominated by boomers) is pooh-poohing this research even as other researchers attempt to replicate the accomplishment, Secretly (or not so secretly) they want to fail. It’s a cozy little world in the shelter of Einstein’s theory. If he is wrong about the universal speed limit, then what else has he got wrong? We may be stuck with Quantum Mechanics after all.

 

The breakdown of the laws of physcis may just be part of a new order that will profoundly affect boomers boomers as the march proudly into retirement expecting the world to make them happy as it always has.. All through their lives, reality has bent to provide their every want and need. Nobody ever said no to the boomers. The world was their oyster and each oyster had a pearl.  Everybody pulled out all the stops to make sure boomers got whatever they wanted. It was all about them. In the 60’s boomers even changed the rules. Up was down. Black was white. Life was sacred – unless you were pregnant. Men were pigs.  Women were perfect.  Everything was relative. It’s all about me. Kids were optional- and a damn expensive nuisance. They could wait until after that ski trip.

Somehow the universe never got the message. 

Boomers thought that the rules they made up would see them safely and comfortably to their graves with all the deference and indulgence they were used to. They had made their bed and expected to lie comfortably in it for all eternity. They expected their kids to indulge them just like their parents had. They expected the rules they made up to prevail against reality.

They were wrong.

Another less self-indulgent generation might have made it work. A generation that valued life and traditional values enough to raise children to replace them in the market place and support them in their old age might be finding a secure and happy retirement supported by a growing population of breadwinners and taxpayers. But not the boomers. They weren’t their stupid parents all cought up in making a better world for their children. It was all about them- and it still is.

If Einstein and relativity tank, it is a fitting companion to the empty and self-indulgent reign of the baby boomers who are learning too late that only their parents loved them.  The rest of us are getting the ice flows ready.

 

 

 

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Oct 032011
 

Folks…a new computer means moving software, which means redoing some software settings.

That’s a little item I forgot, and since my posts are recordings of the live Tuesday morning show, I can’t go back and make it better, so…

This is the best I can do this week.  However, look at it this way…there is nowhere to go but up!

 

[powerpress]

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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Oct 022011
 
ballot box

Image via Wikipedia

It’s unanimous!

Well, our readers have spoken- all two of them and it’s unanimous. Nobody defended our practice of selecting the best good news stories each week to highlight here at COC. With no equivocation they say, “Give me a rant!”

While we do aim to please here at COC, it is an open question who should be the recipient of that pleasure. We’ve never bought the notion that the customer is always right. Still with only two customers who care enough to actually vote, can we afford to piss them off? I’d take the question to the editorial board here but frankly between Bob’s weekend visitation and Justin’s kids, Saturday is just not a good day for decisions. If this week’s edition is going out, it’s up to me to stop dithering.  As they say, If it is to be, it’s up to me. So what’s it going to be? A good rant or more news. I say, lets have both.

Sometimes I just amaze myself.

Florida holds fast to January 31 primary date

The first story I turned up this week is about the Florida legislature deciding to move their presidential primary earlier. They want to hold it on January 31. Now you might say to yourself, “Self, what do I care when those sun crazed loons in Florida hold their primary?” And your reasonable self might answer. “You know, self, I don’t give a rat’s ass when those sun-crazed loons vote.” But that’s not the problem. The problem is that residents of four states get special treatment. Only four states get to hold their primary elections before March 6 and therefore decide the frontrunner. The rest get second class billing.  And we all get stuck with the losers those teacher’s pet states pick.  

“Who are those four?” you ask “and why are they special?” The four special status states are Iowa, Nevada, New Hampshire and South Carolina. Voters in those states basically get to decide who gets selected as the Republican presidential candidate. I thought we were all equal here.

This year, Florida says that it wants to matter. So they are moving their primary election before March 6 so that Floridians can join the chosen few voters that matter. Now you have to agree that it would be hard to pick out four kinkier states than the four special states and if you wanted to add a fifth nut job state, Florida could certainly hold it’s own but that’s not really the point. When it comes to picking a presidential nominee, why should some states get more pull than others?

I’ve heard that it’s all about money. Apparently by putting the early campaigning in small states, the candidates can save money. Well, all I can say is that if we picked the four smallest states, none of them would be included. The four smallest states are Wyoming, Vermont, North Dakota and Alaska. There must be something else. Maybe the voters in those states are smarter, making them better qualified for picking the best candidates. Maybe that’s it. Just looking at the rates of high school graduation as a proxy for smart voters, we find that Iowa is number one in high school graduation but the other three states are at the bottom. That can’t be the reason either. Let’s face it, there is no good reason that these states deserve any special status in picking our president. And there is no reason why Florida shouldn’t have just as much say as South Carolina. And while we are thinking about it what about the Coots home states of California, Utah and Georgia.  (That’s a scary thought, isn’t it?)

Put me on record saying that I’ve had it with candidates picked by those four teacher’s pet states. As far as I’m concerned, those four states are responsible for the sorry state of our country and the pandering, mealy mouthed politicians that we somehow get stuck with. Whatever reason there might be for giving those states first dibs on selecting candidates, it is clear that it was a piss-poor idea and their record should disqualify them from future voting.

I don’t know why any states should get more pull but I do know that if there are any states that shouldn’t have it, those states are Nevada, Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina. Considering the political mess we are in, I’m inclined to say that they should be banned from voting altogether but for now, I’d settle for making them vote last. If you have to have any states voting first, then there shouldn’t be any favorites at all, just pick the early primary states out of a hat. And leave those four teacher’s pets out of the drawing altogether.  Maybe even banish them to Canada.  Let them learn to vote in French.

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Sep 212011
 
NEW YORK - JULY 23:  Copies of the New York Ti...
Image by Getty Images via @daylife

What do you do when you can’t count on USA Today for your headlines. So far, this Coot has depended on USA Today to point to the big stories of the week. Today, however USA is behind the times.  Their top story reveals the secrets of Black Friday. Someone needs to tell USA Today that Black Friday was two days ago. It’s old news. Coots learn to be resourceful however so today we are turning to the doyen of news media, the old gray lady, The New York Times. We will be more selective with the stories since the NYT seems to think that more stories are important than does USA Today.

TOP NEWS

F.B.I. Says Oregon Suspect Planned ‘Grand’ Attack

The FBI caught a young Somail- born US ctizen attempting to bomb a tree lighting ceremony in Portland Oregon. They discovered the young man’s interest in jihadist activities and assisted him with his dream project- bombing an event with lots of children. He is reported to have said that Oregon is a good place to bomb because nobody pays any attention to Oregon. I guess he is not a football fan.

New Chairman Seeks More Power for U.S. Watchdogs

The new Republican majority in the House of Representatives will focus on finding waste and duplication in government programs. The new chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee will seek new subpoena powers for watchdog agencies. The target will be the operations of the unaccountable Tzars managing health care and other important reforms in the government. Coot’s would prefer taking the Tzars out altogether but this is a first step to expose their activities and shine some light on their activities.

War Machines: Recruiting Robots for Combat

Robots are alive and well and working for the military.

U.S. and South Korea Begin Joint Naval Exercises

After last weeks attack of a South Korean island by North Korea, the joint naval exercises go on as planned. Nobody quite knows what to do with a destitute and paranoid nuclear power. No problem with crazy countries having the bomb. No need to worry about Iran either.

South Korea Experiences a Stirring for Revenge

Savage attack wakes South Koreans to reality that love is not the answer. After all these years or enabling the economy of North Korea by feeding the people, South Koreans are shocked, shocked to discover that people in the north are evil. It’s a little late for action however because by providing all that food aid for these years, North Korea was able to develop enough bombs to destroy the south. Oh, well.

So that is what the New York Times says is important today. Who are the coots to argue.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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