Down with | - Part 18

Down With Bookstores!

Posted by Justin at 09:31 Down with, rants

Feb 142013

Ok I really like bookstores….for the most part. I can remember when it was fun to go into a bookstore and look for something new to read, or something from an old favorite author. Or even to find something completely new.

I went to a (large national chain(changed to avoid libel allegations)) bookstore the other day and was almost (read totally) annoyed with the trip. Just when did the salespeople at (large national chain) get direct dispensation from Jesus himself that they were darn near the center of the universe?

It was hard to get someone who was willing to help and didn’t seem like I was inconveniencing them. And they worked there! Even the girl who was ringing up the books seemed like a) she had better things to do, and b) what kind of a low life wretch would bring his kids into (large national chain) bookstore and then presume to actually buy something?!?! And if that wasn’t bad enough, c) no club and discount card???? Oh the humanity!

But I digress….There are some very…interesting people who hang out at (large national chain) bookstore. I am quite sure that a few of them lived at the bookstore or at least waited outside the door for the place to open like a junkie looking for a fix. People hanging out with their laptops getting coffee and just hanging out.

There were even people there who were quite enthralled in a novel, and at that point about half way through. I don’t know if they finished the book but I am quite sure it wasn’t paid for beforehand. I could be wrong, I frequently am.

My point is this, the word Store is in the title of the place which would mean that they sell things like…say….BOOKS! and another key word in the last sentence was SELL. C’mon people, if you go to a bookstore find a book and pony up some cash for it. Then go outside and read it! Or save your cash for our Cantankerous Old Coots book that we are working on. It will be worth it.

A bookstore is not a hangout joint. Go read something good, away from the bookstore!

Go live life for a while, summer is about over.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Down with Self-Respect

Posted by Ralph at 11:39 Down with

Jan 242013

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious. H.L. Mencken

I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them. Susan Sontag

I’ve been seeking self-respect all my life and now I’m beginning to think it was all a fools mission. In my early years I was confident

Self Esteem (Photo credit: Editor B)

that everybody older than me had life under control while I careened from crisis to disaster. I used to wonder “What did they know? and Who gave them the secret?” I wondered when would I reach that enlightened state. I watched others move confidently through life, seeking to learn their secrets and hoping that nobody noticed my confusion. I was, of course, a fool but not willing to face the music and admit it.

As I moved through life, I kept hoping that this stage would be the one where I finally figured it all out and took control of life. High school, college, graduate school, the army; it was all the same. I was barely managing to cope and, all the while, I was hoping to get the answer.

It seems like I was always posturing; hoping that I looked like I knew what I was doing. I never pulled it off. I may have fooled some people but I always believed that they could ultimately penetrate my facade and see the loser inside. I never managed to earn my self respect.

You can’t fool people who aren’t looking.

The sad part of the story and what I think most people miss is that nobody is really paying any attention to you. You don’t really matter in their world. You are a prop or part of the scenery; not the leading man your ego wants you to be.

So what’s the point here?

Now I’m trying to get this post to a point and it’s falling apart on me. I meant to say that self-respect is a mirage hanging over the horizon of life. We all want it but it really doesn’t exist. Self-respect depends upon putting up a good facade so that nobody notices there is nothing inside. But what really frosts the cake is when you notice that nobody is even looking. You don’t even register on their radar.

I guess the point is that pursuing self-respect and seeking the approval of others is not only frustrating, it is useless like tilting at windmills, looking for unicorns and hunting the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; meaningless exertion that takes your energy and accomplishes nothing.

I’m not looking for pleasing anybody at this stage of my life. I’m not trying to fool them or pretend that I know what I’m doing. I know I’m lost but at least now I begin to understand that everyone else is lost too. There isn’t a secret except the secret that there is no secret. And if there was a secret, nobody would share it anyway.

Where was this when I needed it?

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Down With Romantic Comedies!

Posted by Heather at 11:39 Down with, rants

Jan 242013

: Cover of When Harry Met Sally

I was in a superb mood. Really, truly, fantastic. Evil plans were coming together nicely, I had plans for the weekend, college was going ok and the parts for my computer were on their way. Unfortunately I was also near the end of a film; ‘When Harry met Sally’ if we’re being specific.

It’s important to note that my choice in this was limited, I had to watch that movie as homework for my college course. Sure I had a choice of days on which to watch it but I had to before the end of the week. Not that I mind the movie – in fact, throughout most of it the dialogue was beautifully written and well executed.

Who am I kidding, the dialogue was brilliant until the very end.

However it still suffers from the one flaw in almost every romantic comedy every (almost added for the simple fact that I’ve not seen all of them in existence and therefore cannot say ‘every’). The happily ever after.

Now I’m female (obviously), I get the whole desire for things to work out nicely at the end with sugar on top. For years I loved it and wanted nothing more than to see it end well. When I found my own ‘Prince charming’ (he would laugh at that) I still enjoyed the movies but there was an added smugness about it; almost like you’d joined some secret club.

Fast forward a few years and I can’t stand them any more. Not because I lost my prince, but because reality decided to smack us around a bit. There is no ‘happily ever after’ that carries on forever and ever amen, at least, never as its portrayed in films. Worse, if you’ve ever had it, seeing films where it remains that way can throw up all sorts of negative emotions you neither asked for nor needed.

Maybe I’m just not their target market any more. Obviously young, female, and realistic don’t gel well with their audience. Or maybe I’m just being overly sensitive about this whole thing (it’s been known to happen), but you have to wonder what the actual goal of these movies is.

We’re fed them from when we’re really young. Much of our ideas about life and love come from the traditional model displayed in these films (Disney too now I think about it, but come on, its Disney). We grow up thinking on some level that we’ll be swept off our feet, lifted out of whatever mess we’re in, and carried off into the sunset where mundane things like paying the bills and living with choices don’t matter. This is never going to happen however to a certain extent we’re brainwashed!

And then when it doesn’t work out with our male counterparts we either ‘hate’ men for a while (in a very upset and irrational way), decide that the poor guy wasn’t ‘the one’ (really?), or think that we’ve done something wrong and hope, maybe for a long time, that he’ll come back. How exactly does that help anyone?

I’m all for inspiring hope but surely it should be hope in something that may actually happen. Causing misery so widespread that ‘chicks cry at romantic movies’ is a social norm shouldn’t be right. And yes, some girls cry because they’re so happy and in fact there’s a whole host of reasons. I still don’t think all those years of watching movies like that and wishing did me, or anyone else for that matter, any good.

What I’d like to know is just how badly this affects the male side of the population? Oh, and for any of the fairer sex out there (yes, I hate that phrase too), am I nuts?

Heather

Screw You, TV Makeover Shows

Posted by 5kmission at 06:13 Down with, rants

Dec 132012

My fellow Coots, I have a question for you.

How come only rich people get free stuff on TV?

When reading Jenn’s post about being unable to relate to motivators who are nothing like you, I got to thinking. This is kind of out in left field from what her post says, but the sentiment is similar.

Have you ever noticed that, on most home decorating or fashion-based shows, the people featured on the shows are well-off? They may not be rich, but they always look to me like someone who doesn’t really “need” the help on a financial level. As someone who grew up so poor that I’m embarrassed to even talk about it, this really pisses me off.

On What Not To Wear, people with poor fashion sense are surprised by the show and then have their personal style mocked by the show’s hosts. It’s bitchy, but hey – that’s fashion. Usually the person being featured on that episode of the show has plenty of clothing – a nice full closet and maybe a few dressers’ worth of items. Not only do the hosts throw out the bulk of a person’s wardrobe, but they then turn around and hand the “fashion victim” a few thousand dollars to go replace those clothes. The castoff clothing gets thrown in a large garbage can, which I’m sure is partially for dramatic effect. I know those clothes are usually what I’d call “pig ugly”, but I still cringe a little every time I see it.

I’ve never seen or heard it mentioned, however, whether those clothes wind up being recycled or donated to people in need. Even if they’re deemed too hideous or damaged for people to wear in public, surely those clothes can be used for other things. They could easily become blankets, jacket linings or pillow stuffing – and those aren’t even really creative ideas. I also take some offense at the fact that, when seeing these people’s homes during the “throwing out” portion of the show, they don’t look like they’re poor. Financing a new wardrobe is expensive for everyone but the incredibly wealthy, and I get that. But just once, I’d like to see some poor unfortunate soul get the big fancy makeover and after-party instead of someone who doesn’t necessarily need it. Imagine how much further that new haircut and shopping spree could go for some recovering welfare mom, or minimum-wage worker trying to improve their lot in life.

One particular What Not to Wear makeover sticks out in my mind – I’m pretty sure the “fashion victim” that episode was a college professor. If someone with an advanced degree dresses like crap, let them hire a personal shopper for a day. Save the money and the airtime for someone who needs it. Never mind the fact that teachers classically don’t get paid that well, no matter what advanced degrees they have. That professor had a job, and a good one at that – let her replace her spandex bike shorts on her own dime.

Fashion shows aren’t the only ones that fall into this trap. With the exception of Extreme Makeover:Home Edition, most of the home decorating or renovation shows operate under the same premise. On Trading Spaces, I remember the people always had nice single homes – and from the looks of their neighborhoods, probably did well enough to be able to afford home renovations. Same with Design on a Dime, Clean House, and so on. I understand that the premise is more about the educational tips, but just once I’d like to see those shows head into a less-well-off area.

With the millions of Americans living in poor or impoverished conditions – especially now that so many people can’t afford to buy a new home or finance big-ticket repairs – those TV dollars would go so much further helping out people in need. Instead of the show’s hosts/helpers complaining about having to build a piece of furniture to hold that fancy new TV – how about you go to someone’s house where they need something repaired? Instead of painting a mural on someone’s bedroom ceiling, help a poor family fix their leaky roof.

Maybe people don’t want to see the hard-luck human interest stories all the time, and I understand that. TV is supposed to be entertainment, and an escape. You don’t want to sit there on your comfy couch marveling at how some poverty-line family gets by and feeling like a jerk for not donating more to charity every year. But damn, people. There could be a little something for those people. Once in a while. Failing that, just once.

5kmission

Down with California

Posted by Ralph at 06:13 Down with

Dec 132012

: Image via Wikipedia

“California invented the concept of lifestyle. This alone warrants their doom.” Don DeLillo

I chose California

I wasn’t born in California. Missouri gets that honor. But I have lived in California long enough that nowhere else can claim my allegiance. When I came to California, and Los Angeles in particular, it was like dying and going to heaven. I hated the years I spent in the provincial East gagging on their cultural pretension and I had been desperate in my youth to escape the conventionalism of my midwest home. My take on California was that it was the midwestern idea of heaven. It had all the virtues of midwestern lifestyle with none of the drawbacks. You could buy anything you wanted, anytime and anywhere and the climate was perfect. No snow, except in the mountains where it was useful for skiing. Very little annoying rain with the necessary water being imported from elsewhere. There was culture but no pretension. There were great schools, great roads and parking anywhere you needed it -for free. What was not to like?

California Dreaming

Even then, in 1970, when I would drive the Santa Monica Freeway to the beach, I remember looking at the Hollywood Hills and thinking how fantastic LA must have been in the 40’s or 50’s. Raymond Chandler was in the air. Still, even in paradise, life happens and I lost myself in the excitement of marriage, family and job. Gradually the spirit of California began to change. The can do, pioneer attitude became a feeling of ‘I’ve got mine. Too bad for you.” Politicians began to turn on the automobile which made LA possible. Jerry Brown, when he became governor stopped building freeways because building more freeways just encouraged more cars. This insight led him to limit other infrastructure investments as well. In the 70’s California was at the top of all states in infrastructure and driving the freeways was pleasure. Today after 30 years of neglect, it is near the bottom in every category despite having the highest taxes in the country and the the LA freeways are a bad joke.

Starve Infrastructure, Feed Politicians!

You might wonder where all that money, not being spent on infrastructure, went. If not spending money on infrastructure means low taxes, maybe the private sector would step in the fill the void and make California even better. Alas, Jerry Brown and his political hack friends had a better Idea for using that money. They created a new class of professional politicians, well supported with high pay for political service either on an elected basis or on appointed commissions. Today, California is run by the highest paid bunch of political hacks the world has ever known. They have no worries and no accountability even when they are incapable and unwilling to perform the normally expected tasks. California is bankrupt in everything but name. The economy is wrecked. Businesses are leaving due to the high tax burden and wretched services but the political class is unworried. With an education system that teaches kids that they are wonderful without ever having to earn their way, voters want their legislators to care, not to manage and so they continue to elect them. Politicians can’t balance a budget but they can ban supermarkets from giving you a plastic bag. They know what is important. Currently they are debating the earth-shattering concern about aluminum bats which might be dangerous for little league rs. We may not have jobs in California but our kids will be safe.

Time to give up on California?

It is a tough dilemma for someone who remembers what California used to be before the politicians sucked it dry. How bad does it have to get before you give up on the golden state? And where can you go? Can California wake up and slough off the leeches that suck it dry? I have my doubts. I’m afraid that it is too late and that there is too much denial from native Californians schooled on the feel good philosophy pervading the culture. Then again look who is running for governor again this year – Jerry Brown. I don’t know what there is left for him to wreck but it does have me worried. Missouri starts to look better all the time.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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