Jan 252012
 

I like a little Canadian show called “The Red Green Show“.  It is about a bunch of older guys who are just going through life with duct tape.  Check it out on PBS sometime.  The reason I bring this up is the basis for this lesson.  The men on this show belong to the Possum Lodge and while their motto is “Quando Omni Flunkus Moritai” meaning “When all else fails play dead” they begin each meeting with the mans prayer.

“I’m a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.”  Lets face it, most people associate Cantankerous Old coots with Men.  There are women too, don’t start sending me emails about equality and all of that BS, but the first thing that pops into most people’s minds are old cranky men.

I am a man, Ralph is a man and Bob is a real man’s man.  We all exhibit levels of Cantankerousity that ebb and flow with the day.  We can take a subject and jump all over it, reach down its throat and turn it inside out and return the bloody carcass to the owner.  Or not.  It just depends.

That is today’s lesson.  While discretion may be the better part of valor, the laws of cantankerosity demand immediate action.  They demand saying what you feel, (link to lesson 4), letting it show on your face (link to lesson 5), and not giving a rats ass about it (link to lesson 13).

The law also demands that you be able to change.  Note that I didn’t say willing.  If you are willing to change you become one of those namby pamby nancy boys from accounting.  You must only be able to change.  If you have to. I guess.

You will find that in life there are a number of things to take sides on.  Coming up next month are the midterm elections.  There every red blooded American has the duty to go cast a vote for whoever spends the most money on campaign advertising.  Make that cast a vote for whoever convinces you that they will lie the least when in office.

Bob has already weighed in with his voting strategy saying:

Next month’s voting strategy…if you are in, you’re out.

Short, sweet, simple.

Is that the right attitude to have?  Probably.  Bob has a position.  He is taking a stand and being true to his Cantankerous self.  Yet if one of those currently elected officials headed out to the JuicyMaters(.com) headquarters offering huge tax breaks or cash for his vote (never mind the legality here) Bob has to be able to change his mind.  Or not.

Now I am not saying that you should be so wishy washy that it is hard to figure out just which side you are on (see President Obama during the last election).  Figure out where you want to be and work your damndest to end up there.  If there is a good reason to change, however, do it.  And if people give you crap about it, you can really wax Cantankerous on their asses.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Oct 102011
 

I would like to thank Ralph for keeping the Coots afloat for the last little while.  He has done a very Cantankerous job! Now for today, another lesson.

Wednesday Ralph was writing about email and the evils of so much garbage threatening to overwhelm us.  This week I have taken a new stand with that.  I just don’t give a rat’s ass about it.  I click select all and scan down the list for things from my mom or the government and then delete the whole damn list.  It has been nice to have an empty inbox. Am I missing some things?  Probably.  Do I give a rat’s ass about it?  NO.  There is a tie in and a lesson in one.

There has to be a point where you just give up caring what other people think and do what you need to do. I had that realization a while ago when it comes to my family.  Now, I will be 36 next week and it has taken me almost all of that time to finally let go of my Father’s tyranny and not care about his opinion any more.  After his hesitancy in having anything to do with my daughter after her kidney transplant (she was 3 when she had it!) to not coming and seeing his newest grandson for over a month, I don’t give a rats ass anymore. I will still be respectful, but I just don’t care about his hold over me any more.  That may be a sad statement but I have finally grown up or at least more Cantankerous.

A very large part of the Cantankerous Old Coot Not Giving A Rats Ass lesson is this, you are your own person.  You have the right, nay the obligation to be your own person.  There has to be a point somewhere in your life where you take a stand and say, “I am me.  NO one can push their thoughts and ideals on me.  I will be me and I will take control of my life and my own family, my way.”

That is not an easy thing to do.  It is necessary.  So your homework this week is this, go find something that is stealing control of part of you.  Find it, look at it lovingly, and smash it to the ground!  Literally or figuratively I don’t care, but be sure to yell at it, “I don’t give a rats ass about you anymore!!!”  You will feel better and you will start to let go of the things that are keeping you down, weather it be family or email.  Quit giving a rats ass and you will be better off.

-Justin

And really, when this article was bein written, Zemanta put up a bunch of pics of Ralph Nader.  Is he a rats ass?  I don’t give a rat’s ass about him but I really don’t need to see him littering up my sidebars.  What another bunch of crap I am done caring about.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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