Coot Law | - Part 3

Life at the Top!

Posted by Ralph at 10:51 Coot Law, rants

Apr 252014

“Blessed is he who expects nothing for he shall never be disappointed.”

Jonathon Swift

Cantankerous Old Coots has been an engaging journey. It’s been well over a year since Justin started this blog and I jumped into water way over my head trying to save him from his folly. Along the way we’ve tried a few things that we thought might be crowd pleasers. We developed Coot’s lessons to help the cantankerously impaired develop their full potential as coots. We even started Cantankerous Old Coots University (COCU) for serious students of cantankerosity, anticipating a mad rush for enrollment. We thought Coots would serve as a meeting place for square pegs sick of squeezing into round holes, a community of Coots exchanging spirited comments. Continue reading »

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Today…the easy way out

Posted by Bob@HayleStorm Interactive at 13:17 Bob's Politics, Coot Law

Jul 202013

OK folks…I’ll admit it. Today I’m taking the easy way out on this week’s post of mine. If Ralph could do that little Twitter tweet style post the other day then I can be brief as well. This post will be a substantial improvement over Ralph’s though, in two ways:

First, while brief, it will follow Google’s rules about a post’s length. You see, Google, in its wisdom, has decided that if you don’t write at least 300 words on whatever topic you are writing about, what you wrote has no value. None. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. You will notice I am working hard to meet Google’s totally arbitrary standard by finding unnecessary, extraneous, unneeded words just to hit that magic 300 word mark. If there is anything I don’t want Continue reading »

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

Coots lesson 11: Pants are optional

Posted by Justin at 03:54 Coot Law, Coots Lessons, Plain 'ol Cantankerous

Mar 182013

This lesson could be the penultimate Coot lesson. It isn’t, but it could be. Throughout all of these lessons so far we have been working to promote Cantankerosity. If you have been following closely you have learned to say what you think and not dither. You have learned to use sarcasm and the difference between being an angry old fart and a Cantankerous Old Coot.

If you have taken to heart and studied diligently then you are most definitely on you way to Cantankerousness Grasshopper. This lesson is one way of gauging your final test of Cantankerosity.

Picture if you will the elderly gentleman in a rest home. He is not wearing pants. He is railing against Politicians (see this post, and this one). He is yelling at nurses and doing his best to avoid the orderlies who are trying to cover him. Does he care? No! He continues to run around and yell.

Now you may be saying this man is demented, sick in the head, a victim of Alzheimers disease. I say No! He is a Cantankerous Old Coot. His Cantankerosity has been finely crafted and honed over the course of several years and now, he hides his devilish ways behind insane medical diagnosis’s.

This is our mission, to create a fine figure of Cantankerousness who is not afraid to do exactly what it is they want to. Pants are optional. A test of your cantankerous training will not be to parade around without pants (at least for now) but it will be to cultivate the attitude to be able to do so.

Get over your society imposed embarrassment and do something for yourself. Say what you think. Do what you think needs to be done. Be yourself. Pants are optional.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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This is the new site of Cantankerous Old Coots!

Posted by Justin at 10:19 Coot Law, Plain 'ol Cantankerous, principles

Aug 122012

This will be updated and promoted as necessary. We are just getting started. This will be a site dedicated to men and women who want to remember the “Good Old Days” and when people could say and so what they wanted to. Then you were expected to tell someone they were stupid and they had to adapt.

There will be Consortium of Coots adding content and value!

The first of the coots are here:

Ralph Carlson: Check him out at http://ralphcarlsonblog.com/wordpress

And of course Justin Matthews at http://justinsbrainpan.com

We also have incurred 2 female coots as of May 2010!

First, Jenn Jinright who blogs over at http://gurls-asylum.us

And secondly, Jillian, who is trying her hardest to make decent online cash at http://5kmission.com

There will be more coots and guest coots,

Please come back and enjoy the Cantankerous Content!

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Burgeoning Cantankerosity!

Posted by Justin at 04:38 Coot Law, Coots Lessons, Plain 'ol Cantankerous

Jun 172012

Image via Wikipedia

Next Week the coots will be Writing our monthly theme: this month, Oil Stains! I hope Bob gets his stuff fixed so that he can unleash…he has a good one coming. Dont forget to head over to the sidebar there on the right and vote for our April theme. There promises to be some good stuff there also. You can also send us suggestions, the email form is over there as well. I would really like to write on a topic suggested by the readers. You know who you are. I would also like some input on the podcasts; I haven’t done one for a while and I would like to get back to it. I do want some help though. Topics for the podcast? want to be a guest? We can do that. Send me an email and let me know. Enough of this, onto today’s post.

This didn’t get posted last week for a number of reasons. I am not going to count them. Anyway, I have an interesting situation over here. Ralph and Bob have already been through this stage but it is new for me. That stage is puberty. For my DAUGHTER not me you tools. Yes my 10 year old is starting that ~~horrific special wonderful~~ incredibly necessary but oh my dear lord how are we going to live through the hormones shift so innocently called puberty.

While I am not exactly terrified, I am planning a fortified bunker in my basement so that I can lock her away into it. With these hormones that are beginning to rage, I can see another form of rage building in her. That rage is quickly becoming cantankerosity. She has a way to go of course but I am not sure how I am going to handle this. Do I let her develop on her own or do I give gentle nudges and tuition in Cantankerous Old Coots University? I am leaning towards the latter.

I can see now just how valuable the lessons of Cantankerous Old Coots University are when I have someone to mold into her own coot. She has been in training for a black belt in sarcasm for 10 years now. She is no where near the Jedi level that I hold, but she is coming along. Focusing hormones and rage into sarcasm and cantankerosity is a challenge that I am at least uniquely qualified for. I have to get her away from the fatalistic attitude that she is starting to get.

It is time to form her and guide those hormones into a cantankerosity worthy of the great masters, Howard Beal, Ralph, Bob, Redd Fox and others. But she still has to be a decent girl that people will want to hang out with. Someone who will bring boys home that I won’t have to bury in the backyard after the first date. There is a particular challenge there, she is a good person now, but I can see how easily she could rebel and turn into….well…that girl I need to lock in the basement.

So, what to do? The first step is a deep breath. Next, subtle guidance to channel the onslaught of hormones into something productive. I see her own blog in the near future. After that, more deep breaths and the lessons of Cantankerous Old Coots University. If you haven’t checked them out, you really should.

Thanks for your support and remember that tuition dollars are due by the end of March.

Later.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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