Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

Feb 232015
 

Hablo un poco de Espanol.

This old coot is counting down the days.  It’s not the days until November 6 and the Presidential Election.  It’s not the days until Veteran’s Day.  And it’s not the days until Thanksgiving.  I’m counting down to December 4 when my wife and I travel across the Mason Dixon line to Houston, Texas and then on across the equator to Sunny Argentina.  Vamos al Buenos Aires!

The Argentine Flag

I can’t say for sure that the heading above translates as Hello! Cantankerous Old Coots.  My Spanish lessons so far only confirm Hola.  I don’t believe that Google would lie but I understand that there are subtleties that might escape on-line translations so if I said something I shouldn’t, dame un pase.

This trip we aim to function passably in Spanish.  In Italy, we just pointed or waited for someone to speak English.  In Argentina we intend to engage.  I have to say that learning Spanish by listening is muy bueno. The one problem is that I have no idea what some of the words look like in print and the sounds I mimic don’t correspond to the way we say those letters in English.  I may be able to converse but the printed word may turn out to be a complete mystery.  Qué desastre!

Still we are excited.  We hear that Buenos Aires is called the Paris of South American and the pictures we find on the web seem to confirm.  My wife will be busy taking pictures while I absorb the culture and drink mate.  Will I find anything to be cantankerous about?  Que sas!   Will I miss the dreary Winter weather in Sacramento?  No en su vida.

Tropical Christmas!

We will be arriving in Summer for the Southern hemisphere; December is equivalent to July up here and temperatures will be in the 90’s with humidity.  This suggests that we will celebrate siesta during midday even though it is apparently not so endemic in Argentina as some other countries.  We don’t have definite plans and no big urgency like we might have on a 5 day trip.  I have always wanted to take a vacation where I could actually take a day off instead of rushing from one place to another.  Como un pollo con su cabeza cortada.

Still there is work to do.

Meanwhile, during the countdown there are details to arrange.  For the Venice trip I reached a near panic state during the last week.  It was completely irrational and totally unnecessary but I just couldn’t turn off the worrying about imaginary problems.  Right now I’m convinced that I’ll be fine when the countdown gets close but who knows.  Argentina is not Italy.  Buenos Aires is not Venice.  United Airlines is not Iberia.  My wife may have to knock me out just like last time.

I still have Spanish lessons to complete, cell phones (or Argentine sim cards) to arrange, and details like airport transportation and getting Pesos before we go.  And then, of course, we need to book Tango lessons.  So much to do.  Tan poco tiempo.

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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A Coot hits the road!

 Posted by at 11:02  Uncategorized
Feb 232015
 

Hola Coots!

The pressure is mounting.  Tomorrow my wife and I leave rainy Sacramento for sunny and warm Buenos Aires.  We’ve never been to Argentina and we’ve never taken a trip longer than two weeks so there is plenty of room for anxiety.  There is the fear of over packing.  This trip we want to take only what we need after over packing last time.  The alternative might just be under packing.  What is the right amount of clothing?  I don’t know.  I’ll probably get it wrong this time too.  The one nice thing is that summer in Argentina means no need to take a heavy coat.

Then there is the electronics.  Modern travel  requires a computer, my wife’s iPad, telephones, cameras and all the connections, power supplies and batteries to keep them operating.  The apartment has wifi so we can connect on the web and talk via Skype.  We did pretty well last trip where the only thing forgotten was a charger for a camera.  It wasn’t a serious problem.  Camera chargers are found everywhere tourists flock.  This afternoon we will set out all the equipment for packing and make sure that it all is there.

The only loose end this time is our cellphones.  For the last trip we rented them.  This time we intend to use our regular cell phones which we unlocked and buy local prepaid sim cards.  This is more adventurous and will tax our limited Spanish but it is cheaper and provides us with local Argentine telephone numbers.  The downside is that it can’t be done until we get to Argentina and apparently there is a 24 hour delay after buying the card before you get your number and the possibility of dealing with customer service in Spanish.  We will be testing our Pimsleur Spanish.  One thing we learned is that we won’t go hungry or thirsty because it seems that the Spanish word for bar is bar and the Spanish word for sandwich is sandwich.  We can build on that.

We anticipate that there will be some problems as we settle into Buenos Aires for a month but we are making our entrance as simple as possible.  For about the same price as a taxi from the airport, you can arrange for a driver.  So when we make it out of customs at the airport there will be someone standing with a sign that has my name on it.  He will lead us to our transportation which will drive us to meet the apartment agent who will settle us into our home for the next month.   We could have hassled the trip like a native but after a long flight, who needs more stress?

Once we have our home base, it will be time to check out the neighborhood, buy some provisions and those sim cards and try our Spanish (or as they say in Argentina- our Castillano).  I can’t promise regular posting during this trip but the plan is to show some pictures once a week with observations about interesting and quirky things I discover.  Stay tuned.

For a taste of Buenos Aires, check out this video.

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feb 232015
 
Double Double Animal Style

Happiness is a hot cheeseburger!

Well, it’s finally here. Today is National Cheesburger Day. What could possible be happier than a sizzling burger dripping with juices and smothered with cheese. I’m salivating just thinking about it. Naturally something as good as a cheesburger was invented in the USA by good old Americans. You know it’s good because you can find cheesburgers anywhere you go these days, not even McDonalds can damage the cheeseburger mystique. So wherever you are today and whatever you have planned, just drop everything and get yourself a cheeseburger. Maybe you want a bargain burger for 25 cents or a have it your way and pull out all the stops burger. Maybe you go fast food with a Big Mac or made to order with a Double Double. It makes no difference. Get yourself a mouthfullo of happiness and celebrate the miracle that is a cheeseburger.

And what to have with your cheeseburger?  Most of us enjoy an order of fries with our cheeseburger but these days it isn’t so easy. If you want fries with that you are going to need parental approval.

Michelle Obama to join Olive Garden announcement

And, of course nothing goes better with your cheeseburger than a coke.  Even without the fries that cheeseburger is a mouthwatering delight. Add a coke and your tastebud just cry out in pleasure. Could you be any happier? The answer is, of course, yes you can and Coca Cola wants to prove it with this video.

W+K’s fifth ‘Happiness Factory’ spot is a six-minute musical spectacle

If you haven’t developed diabetes by now, there is just one more bit of happiness for yon today. The great wall of Tujunga has been restored to its original glory.

Video: The Great Wall mural in the Tujunga Wash in Valley Glen gets a facelift

So there is no excuse for anybody to be unhappy on National Cheeseburger Day.  Next week will surely be harder.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feb 232015
 

limericksI have to confess that I have always loved limericks.  I like the rhythm, the way you can play with the accent and push near rhymes.  Finally I love the way that limericks are never serious.  Nobody would ever write a love poem in limerick form.  So when I sat down to compose a cantankerous post for today, my mind drifted and before you know it I was creating limericks.   They aren’t masterpieces but I modestly claim them as adequate.  Comments are appreciated as are any of your own limericks to complement this post.

Cantankerosity

So cantankerous was Bobby Jim,
with a physiognomy so grim
That he barely could smile
To mask  lying and guile
Causing folks to stay distant from him.

Facebook

Winning friends is the call of the day
Influencing them – making them stay
Dale Carnegie’s dictum
In extremis is sick-dom
Facebook friendships make Dale’s seem passe.

Middle Age Spread

Tim was lean, mean and fit- a role model
of healthy prime manhood , no twaddle,
But his appetite grew
’till his belt buckle blew
Now his swagger has turned to a waddle.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feelings! Whose Feelings?

 Posted by at 11:02  principles
Feb 232015
 
A teddy bear named Tommy.

Image via Wikipedia

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

Oscar Wilde

Bob is inspirational.

I’ve been inspired today with our task of exploring the sensitive topic of feelings. Bob was very eloquent in stating that there are some areas of life where feelings just can’t be considered. Life is no cakewalk. Eggs have to be broken and some things are more important than feelings. I wouldn’t attempt of challenge Bob because first of all he outweighs me by 75 pounds and second he is friends with all the judges and elected officials in his community.

Well said Bob!

Still, sometimes, you need  finesse.

But  I like to think that I can add a little finesse and sophistication to the conversation. And I would like to counter the negative slant of Bob’s argument with a positive one. My suggestion for today is that somebody’s feelings are the perfect lever to mess with their mind and leave them slack jawed, dazed and confused.  And to enhance your own feelings.

Feelings are irrational

Nobody can explain why we love kittens and hate snakes or why we happily squash cockroaches but swerve to avoid hitting a bunny. It is easier to understand that we love the sound of our own name and are suckers for flattery. Some of the strongest feelings we have are those of self-love, deluded though they might be.

Which reminds me about the Coots Lessons

I can’t help but be reminded of the series of Coots Lessons here at Cantankerous Old Coots. Some of you may have forgotten those lessons -or worse never learned them. At the core of those lessons is one over riding concept: don’t let the feelings you imagine for anyone else cause you to deviate from your own  principles. First of all, who are you to read their minds and know their thoughts and second, why in heaven’s name would you care?

Coots see the world clearly

Being a Coot means that you have a clear vision of the world you live in and your purpose in it and in case you are confused this means that you are not concerned about what anybody else thinks. You have enough problems of your own. Let them handle theirs!

Let’s review those first five lessons

In case you need a refresher, here is a brief summary of the first five Coots’ Lessons (incidentally available for your own e-library is our beautifully designed E-Book which you can have free of charge when you join our mailing list with all the other cool guys). Coots in training should review these lessons periodically anyway.

Coot Lesson #1 – Let it out!

“Here at Cantankerous Old Coots we believe in letting your feelings out. Maybe your mother taught you to be nice. She may have told you “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Well, we say forget what your mother said. How far has your mother’s advice got you anyway. We say, if you feel it, then let it out.”

Coot Lesson #2 – We Don’t Care What You Think

“Here at Coots, your opinion is worthless. If we wanted it, we would ask but we don’t have time to waste arguing about it. It’s a free country for now but every second we get pushed further and further into a world where we can’t say something because somebody else thinks different and we might offend them.”

Coot Lesson #3 – Polite is over rated!

“Polite is a synonym for lie. If you don’t set these people straight, they will continue to inflict their shoddy goods on other unsuspecting victims. If they believe you they will have your encouragement to do it. If they don’t believe you, they brand you either as a fool or liar.”

Coot Lesson 4- Say It When You Feel It!

“Lose that internal filter that clogs up with what you “should” say, and just say what you mean.  It may anger people but shooting straight is the best way to deal with society as a whole.  Keep your lies and your equivocations; quit pandering to people who don’t really mean anything to you.”

Coot Lesson 5- Let your face show what you think.

“Your expression must support and reinforce everything you have learned so far. It must be stern and serious. It can run the gamut of emotions from scowl to downright contempt. It must take no prisoners, leave no stone unturned and be so controlled that no one can have any doubt that you mean exactly what you are saying.”

Stand up for your own feelings!

So forget about other people’s feelings and stand up for your own. That is the position of Cantankerous Old Coots and we think that the world would be a better place if everybody lived by that stand. Review the Coots Lessons and make the world a better place. Whose feelings are more important anyway?

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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